While Rick and I absolutely love our lakehouse and are so grateful for it, there are times when packing up stuff and getting ready to head down to it can feel, well, worky and a lot. Yes, we do have a basic pantry, and the fridge and freezer are stocked pretty well, but we still have to pack our own things for a weekend as well as some incidentals. Often, this involves fresh produce, any items we're replacing or restocking, wine, computers, and in Rick's case, any special tools he may need for a project. If we're having guests or family, that entails a LOT of planning and packing.
A recent Friday morning found me exhausted and sore from yet another night of poor sleep. I fed the blue jays and squirrels out front, tossed in some laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash and recycling, and did a few other things all before 7 AM. About two hours later, Rick finally got up, and the following conversation ensued.
Scene opens in living room. Nance is stretched out in the recliner with the requisite bigass mug of decaf and her laptop open on her lap desk. Rick is silently perusing his newsfeed on the couch.
Nance: (after several minutes) I have to tell you: I don't feel like doing a single thing right now, or ever, really.
Rick: (barely glancing up) Then don't. We can just stay home this weekend.
Nance: No, I want to go. The idea of getting all that shit together is killing me, though. I mean, I have to go to the bathroom right now, and I don't even want to get up to do that.
Rick: Yikes. It seems to me that you should want to take care of that.
Nance: Why oh why can't I have a staff to do all of this for me? You know, like Molly Maids, but for this kind of stuff. I mean, I'd still direct and delegate--
Rick: Hm. It really kinda sounds like you wouldn't.
Haha! My parents have the same issue. They have their old house in the mountains and their new(ish) one in the city and they go back and forth every week sometimes. This involves a cooler, a suitcase and also trying to remember if the XYZ is at one home or the other, which is often isn't. To top it off, the mountain home is close to nothing, so if you don't have it, you can't just "pop to the store" to get it, so you need to kind of plan/prepare. Despite going back and forth often, it still isn't completely the same exact routine every time (just like you said, sometimes you need a specific tool, etc.)
ReplyDeleteK--Exactly! Going between two homes sets off a whole Mental Thing: what exactly is at the main home? do we have any _____ left there? will we need a/the _____? Our lake home is in a rural area, and any stores are at least 20-25 minutes away.
DeleteAnd yes! Even though we have done this Weekend thing for over 10 years, we still have lapses in our routine. Once, we forgot to shut the garage door. Another time we left our back door at home wide open for the entire weekend! We keep threatening to make a checklist, but I think we're too stubborn (or proud) to do so.
You know that your conversations with Rick always make me chuckle, Nance. This one is so relatable remembering our own days heading to our mountain/river property every chance we could. In the early days, we'd both be raring to go. I'd always stay up late baking cookies and staging all the stuff that was my responsibility. He'd get up early and start on his to-do list, which was every bit as long and more labor intensive. Even as it all seemed like much more effort as time went on, we were always glad once we were there, especially if we had guests joining us (although we often debated on which situation was better---having company to share all with or simply enjoying it ourselves) but some weekends required a special effort and having people to do all the work certainly would have been nice and much needed for some trips.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I've been away. I've been busy with mom, another week of hospitalization with two nights in the ICU this time (that experience makes a regular hospitalization seem like a breeze) and the usual three weeks of rehab at the local SNF (the euphemism for nursing homes of course). Just got her back home with her cargeivers a little over a week ago but now it looks like the cycle is getting ready to repeat. Already. Life is a lot for most of us these days, it seems. We'll need a catch-up call at some point.
Hope you do have a good weekend at the lake house and don't exhaust yourself in preparation. Belated congratulations on your amazing blog anniversary! Your number of years and dedication amaze me anew each and every year!
Love and hugs,
Shirley
Shirley--It's always so nice to see you here in Comments. I'm so sorry that things with your mom have been so taxing and stressful. We will need to have a catch-up chat in the near future.
DeleteYour mountain property was an even tougher prep since you were camping whenever you were there if I remember correctly. Like you, despite all the work, I'm always glad once we get there. It's very calming and relaxing. One reason is that it's a simpler, more stripped-down life when we're there--very No Frills. It exists as a getaway.
And thank you for your kudos for my blog anniversary. I share your amazement that I'm still writing here! Even more astonishing is the number of Readers/Commenters I have. It's very gratifying. XO
Rick really knows you :). And "you should want to take care of that" lol.
ReplyDeleteThe two-home thing sounds like a lot, but your views are incredible and being able to get away is so lovely too. If you are a good delegator (which I know I am not), I bet you could find a local teen/student to help with some of the packing and maintenance stuff.
maya--Yes, he truly does. Sometimes it's aggravating, but mostly it's comforting.
DeleteYou know, sometimes it's easier just to do things myself. I know it's quicker. I truly think I've conquered a great many of my control issues, but by the time I tell someone what to do or how to do it, I might as well just do it myself. I wonder if that's how you feel, too.
Thankfully, Rick has resigned himself to hiring some people to do certain things around there. It's never our intention for anyone to see the lakehouse as a chore. It's very rare that we even ask the boys for help even though they'd be happy to pitch in.
And yes--we do see the lakehouse as very much a getaway. Having the boat helps with that, and so does committing to a simplified and streamlined existence there. We want everyone, including ourselves, to simply relax and do their own thing.
I'm giggling at this conversation. I get it!!
ReplyDeleteDoing all the things is exhausting, especially terrible if you don't sleep well and are battling an autoimmune issue. You could use an assistant, perhaps two? Surely one can be found who will do as you ask from the comfort of your chair.
I'm assuming you leave toiletries and clothing at the lake house, so you don't have to pack all the personal items.
We used to pack up a lot of stuff going from one place to another; now it's just whatever groceries we have that will spoil, so it's a lot easier than it used to be.
I hope you made it to the lake and were able to enjoy yourself after all that. XO
BB Suz--Yes, we did make it to the lake despite my performance. As usual, we had a lovely and restful time.
DeleteWe both leave as many things there as is possible without constantly buying two of everything. We each have some clothing there, but we always pack things for the weekend. One weekend, I failed to pack a single pair of underwear! Thankfully, I had some down there (although they are definitely Second-String Underwear). It's rare now that either of us forgets anything critical.
Sleep has been a constant issue for me for many months now. There are days I wake up at 3-4 AM and have to just get out of bed and start my day. Needless to say, I detest that, as would anyone. Trust me when I say that I (and my doctors) have tried just about everything
The two home life is not for the faint of heart! My parents split their time between 2 homes up until maybe 3-5 years ago when they FINALLY fully retired at around ages 73-75. They had a good routine down and it was a bit like clockwork, but it's still alone, especially when there is yard upkeep, etc. I am so glad they are down to 1 house now! A lot of us kids were at the lake over the 4th of July holiday and my older sister polled us siblings about who had interest in owning our parents home down the road. We were a HARD PASS and the other 2 siblings she talked to weren't interested in owning it either. It's 3 hours from our house and that is just too far for us. And Phil prefers a different lake country area of Minnesota so we'd target a different area if we ever did buy a lake home but I'm about 90% sure we never would. But maybe I will surprise myself!
ReplyDeleteI do love this peek into a conversation between you and Rick, though. I do love that his initial response was that you don't need to go since you are feeling so very tired (which I can so relate to).
Lisa--You bring up a good point about the legacy of a lake home. Rick and I often wonder if our sons will even want to keep it once we're gone. Personally, I often wonder if either Rick or I will want it when one of us dies. (And we have a deal that I go first, by the way.) I know if I am left with it, alone, it's highly unlikely that I'd keep it. And even though we are both retired, I don't like the idea of living there full time. It's too far away from everyone and everything.
DeleteRick's initial response to anything I say referencing my fatigue or other symptoms of ME/CFS is always "Just relax then. You don't need to do anything." He's wonderful about that, but I still struggle with simply Resting. Such is the constant struggle for women/moms. Even though I can't always take my own advice, I keep telling other women to REST MORE. I can't think of very many women who don't need it.
"You should want to take care of that" - lol
ReplyDeleteThe thought of a second home is absolutely exhausting and overwhelming to me. I know it shouldn't be that way - it's a VACATION home - but it seems like it would be so stressful. I find it less stressful to travel, because I don't, like, own the hotel or anything. I am not making sense here. I guess it's the thought of owning two pieces of property that seems very hard to me. I mean, of course people love their vacation properties, so the payoff is there, but to me it just seems like so many things to do in two different places.
Argh, I sound so negative. I should delete this and start again! But I feel like you know what I mean?
Nicole--Fear not; I know EXACTLY what you mean. And there are times--and have been in the past--that I've wondered if it's all really, truly worth it: the double maintenance and bills, the prep, the chores involved. The key for me is to keep Lake Life basic and vacationlike. We eat very simply, we don't make demands upon ourselves there, and furnishings and decor (or lack therof of the latter) are minimal and require no big upkeep.
DeleteThe big draw for us at the lake is the quiet, the view, and the boating. We have some of the former at home, but none of the latter two. Once I'm there, I completely and totally relax. Everything seems doable and at a slow pace. It's absolutely worth it.