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I (along with the writer's wife!) still maintain that the majority of backer-inners are men who A) just like to show off; or B) feel that it's a Rite Of Their Masculinity And They Simply Must Do It. Also, I don't get it. Parking the car involves two actions, the initial parking and the leaving of the parking spot. Does it really matter which one you do when? You aren't saving any time. Or effort, really. It just seems stupid to me.
One year, I told my husband that all I wanted for Christmas was for him to back my car into the garage every single night. I hate backing out of our garage and down our driveway. It's not a straight shot, our neighbours erected a fence partway down on their property, we have a drainage pipe along the side of the house that is required by the city, and even with a backup camera, it is always irritating for me. What a joy it would be for me to simply drive out of my side of the garage and into the street! Sadly, I did not find that gift under our tree.
In days past I always parked in faraway spots wherever I went. I refused to make looking for a parking spot part of my shopping trips. Many times that meant that I could simply pull through to the spot in front of me, assuring that I didn't have to back out at all, even when it was time for me to leave. It also meant a bit of walking, which has always been my preferred form of exercise anyway. It also meant that I didn't have to sit in my car and wait around for anyone to back into his parking spot or sit there and wait while some idiot sat there with their blinker on, waiting for the person still loading their bags into their car in a prime spot to actually leave.
Aside from Parking and all its attendant This And Thats, I do believe in doing some harder things proactively so that Future Me has an easier time of it, and it was a habit I started as a much younger person, mainly because I hated mornings and wanted to get as much sleep as possible. Back when I was a kid, I used to put a chair right at the side of my bed and put my entire outfit for the next day on it. Many, many times, I'd even pull it on while I was still lying in bed, so loath I was to actually get up and admit that I had to start my day. It's a little embarrassing to admit how often I'd lie there, fully dressed, waiting for the exact last minute that I had to get out of bed and get downstairs before I risked being late.
As a career woman I still chose my clothes and readied them the night before. Anything I needed to take with me was placed in my school bag, a huge tote that also contained almost anything needed for any exigency that Future Me might encounter. Teaching in a huge urban school presented enough opportunities for stress; I was determined to head off any that I reasonably could.
Retired Me is still looking for opportunities to reduce stress and make my environment serene. Future Me does not want to wake up to a messy kitchen or unfolded laundry even though I have all day to do things. I also ready my coffeemaker so that all I have to do is push a button in the morning for my coffee whenever Future Me may want it. Mail passes through my hands only once; I act upon it immediately. Piles and clutter drive me nuts.
Rick is not this way. His tolerance for piles of clutter and mail and clothes is much higher than mine. Future Him is the same as Present Him, pretty much, unless you count the carpentry rule of Measure Twice, Cut Once. He wonders at my lack of Patience in all things but our grandson and our sons. I tell him I do, too. For the record, he does not back into parking spaces, even if I am not with him in the car. He thinks it's stupid and rude. For the record, he does pull through into the spot ahead once in a while.
I back in to straight parking spaces when I need to because then I am in control of the lane and have good situational visibility. If backing out, I do not have as good field of vision and have to creep and stop frequently ( esp if I am parked between a few mountainous trucks). The drivers in the lane have right of way.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I also pull through if possible. Or with slanted parking spots , visibility isn't as bad if backing out.
However, I will admit my sister recently ran her car into the garage wall backing into it ( and the wall in the adjoiningroom also cracked. :( ). She has now installed a sensor to tell her where to stop. Backing in is required due to the placement of the garage door.
So it's not just about being macho!
-mbmom11
mbmom--"In control of the lane" may often mean that you are backing up traffic in the parking lot as well. I suppose it's your prerogative. The article I linked to supports your assertion somewhat.
DeleteI detest backing up, period. Having a car equipped with a backup camera is wonderful and helpful, but I still hate doing it. And there is no way I'm doing it just to get into a parking spot.
In my training to be a substitute rural mail carrier, they required backing into parking spots because it is safer than having to back out into the traffic lane. Makes sense. I sometimes back in, but honestly? I usually choose a spot beside the shopping cart return so there is no one by me on that side! Helps a lot with visibility as well as putting the cart in the rack.
ReplyDeleteI have always, I think, laid out my clothes for the next day. It just simplifies mornings. I got out of the habit when I retired, but picked it back up again because I found myself dragging around in my nightgown til late morning!
Like you, I don't like clutter, but my husband seems to want to make a nest wherever he is, and it seems to be getting worse as he gets older. I am trying to get him to do better but it's a struggle.
G Sue--The article I linked to had a few instances such as yours. Like you, I often chose the spot next to the cart return for those exact reasons.
DeleteWith regard to husbands, I once read a quote that said, "Husbands are forever guests in their own homes." While this is definitely not true for my own sons, it is absolutely true for most of our generation and the ones before it, I think. They are mostly clutter-blind and leave trails or nests, as you say. I always think, Who tells us when it's time to vacuum or mop or whatever? Yet, if we don't mention those sorts of things to them, they simply do not get done.
Like the commenter above me I, too, back into parking spaces and whenever possible I'll pull through a "parking tree" so when I leave I can just pull forward. You can see your surroundings much better than when you do it that way as opposed to when you leave and have to back out. I honesty often wondered why more people don't do it and I have questioned a person's IQ who has the opportunity to pull through and they fail to do it. Saves having accidents.
ReplyDeleteJean--I think there's a very good reason for some people not to pull through OR back in: perhaps they want to have good access to the trunk or hatchback of their car to load groceries or packages.
DeleteI have a pretty high IQ and a couple of college degrees. I don't think intelligence has a damn thing to do with how you park a car.
I don't drive much these days and I'm happy to let my husband park however he likes. I never was great at backing up though, so I used to always look for a chance to pull through to the next spot so I could drive out forward. I'm with you on doing things now so that future me won't have to deal with them. Future me is always glad!
ReplyDeleteMG--Do you mean to tell me that you don't offer any Helpful Hints for your husband's benefit? I'm sure he would love some input!
DeleteLately I've been trying to tell my self to do the harder things now so life will be easier later. So today I started assembling the tax documents. It has not become easier yet.
ReplyDeleteI do like to park far away (for the same reasons you give) and pull through. I wonder if backing into a parking space so that leaving can be easier is related to psychology. Could it be that when arriving to do a task, one is willing to do extra to get the task done? But at the end of the task one just wants to get home. When one is thinking about having a cup of hot tea and read one's book, one gets impatient and might make a driving mistake when backing out of the parking space.
CHM--Ugh. Taxes. I just yesterday dropped A Big Hint to Rick about them. I already got a few together and put them in the usual place.
DeleteYes, the psychological aspect was mentioned in the article I linked to. Quick escape and all that. I still never once backed into a parking spot at work, not once.
I'm a sister! I too would rather park further away in a pull through space to avoid backing out.
ReplyDeleteI've tried picking out my outfit--that's what the productivity gurus say one ought to do, but what really works is for me, is to plan an outfit in my head as I shower. Trying to imagine how you could put on your clothes while lying in bed--quite acrobatic!!
maya--I was a kid, all limber and practically boneless.
DeletePlanning your outfit as you shower is pretty productive as well as long as everything you decided upon is clean and not wrinkled.
I am a fan of the back in, but will never do it if someone is behind me, because I’m not an ass. When we lived in Philadelphia, we lived in a large apartment building with a garage, and assigned parking. Our spot was next to a post and near a corner, and backing out could be tricky. That’s where I got really comfortable with backing into a spot, and I still use it when I think it will help me. But yeah, I’m not going to make people wait while I back in, because it does take a little longer. SO MUCH EASIER to leave, especially if I’m surrounded by trucks or something.
ReplyDeleteI try to take care of future J, but current J is very selfish and lazy.
J--Thank you for your courtesy, Parking J.
DeleteThat parking spot in Philly would have been my nightmare. Way worse than parallel parking, which I can actually do.
I have a hard time believing that any J is selfish and lazy.
I'm giving a 'Sure, Jan' to the comment above from marley alisha ;)
ReplyDeleteI am a pull though gal if it's at all possible, as I hate backing out of parking spaces. I had a close call of almost hitting a pedestrian about 10 years ago and it's haunted me ever since. I will back into a spot if I know that there will be a ton of people all leaving at once (such as at a concert). It drives me nuts how people will see you backing out and just walk right behind your car. The back up cameras are NOT reliable when it comes to pedestrians.
I do a lot of food prep to make my life easier. Vegetables are washed and cut up when I get home from the store. I'm with you on avoiding clutter. I stand next to my paper recycling bag when I open the mail. 90% of it goes straight into that bag.
Bijoux--Yeah, I'm not sure how that spammer sneaked in, but she's gone now.
DeletePedestrians have the right of way, and it's made them cocky and entitled. Maybe bumping one or two of them is what's needed to get them in line. Sigh. Of course I'm kidding, and I'm sorry you had such a scare.
I was wondering if I'd hear from a Food Prepper for Future Yous. I am in constant awe of all of you. Once I get done selecting all the food, giving it a ride throughout the store, paying for it, hauling it in, and putting it away, I HAVE TO BE DONE WITH IT. I do NOT want to see it again until I have to. Bravo to all of you for your dedication and work ethic.
Don't you feel bad for the mail carrier sometimes? There are days when ours braves truly shitful weather to deposit one piece of junk in our mailbox. I always think, All that effort just so I can toss this in the recycling bin.
I feel very seen - piles and clutter also bother me, although I am guilty of letting the mail sit for a couple of days until I'm ready to deal with it. I also set out my exercise clothes the night before so that when I get up, I only need to put them on and not search for socks, etc. I used to plan out my entire wardrobe for the week ahead but I don't do that anymore because...well, I don't go too many places so I don't feel the need. Also the weather is pretty predictable here and in Calgary, I would be like "I need this sweater on that day."
ReplyDeleteI always get the coffeemaker ready the night before too. I am a morning person for sure but I still like to make my mornings smooth and easy.
Nicole--I'm a morning person, too, in that I'm up early because of years of habit. This doesn't mean I get up and at it, however; I like to ease into my day. It's my reward for 30 years of Jittering Into My Day Full Bore with teenagers.
DeleteI'm chuckling at planning my wardrobe now, too. "Which pair of black leggings should I wear? Which sweater? OH, WHO CARES!"
Ah, the parking spot thing. I used to pull into whatever was easiest. Not now. I do not walk with confidence and so I look for a 'Handicapped' spot close to my destination. In our little local town, this is a street spot. We have two banks. One has a side street with a spot right in front of the door. The other has one 'Handicapped', on a busy street with a lot of traffic. If the one spot is taken, the option is to go to the big parking lot across the busy street and through a walkway. Iced in winter. I do not patronise that bank much at all.
ReplyDeleteWhen I took my driver's test, age 16, the tester knew my father well and phoned him after I passed to say that his judgement was that I was skilled enough, except a bit weak in street parking. (The dirty rat!!!) And so I spent the summer of my 16th year parking. At my parents' cottage, against my mother's flower bed with two barrels to indicate cars fore and aft. This skill has sort of stayed with me, except that I learned on a sedan and lining up our sport utility vehicle. with no back trunk, is a bit of a challenge.
My Keurig just needs its button pushed and gurgles ensue. A good thing as that is really all I am up for in the morning.
My husband is a layer outer. Me, I have not got the patience. So I run around at the last minute searching for phone, list, whatever. I am awed by your diligence.
Mary--A dirty rat, indeed! I cannot imagine spending a summer practicing parking. I would have smacked that man in my head SO MANY times.
DeleteThat bank, too. LOL
Be not awed, my friend. It is merely a survival skill disguised as self-care. Stress is my enemy; it causes so much trouble for me.
I had to come back on this. My father was a layer outer, big time. And where he laid out the books, the hat, the grocery bags, etc, was in the front hall. So, I would arrive to pick him up. unlock his apartment door, and have to stand on the threshhold with said door cracked open while I called to him that I was ready to drive him where ever. In the front hall, close enough to the door to block it partially. I loved him dearly, but, honestly!!!
DeleteMary--Perhaps your father also enjoyed his privacy and did not want to be barged in upon. Even subconsciously, this may have been his way of preserving that last little bit of it--and gentlemanly independence--since he did have to have you drive him places. OR it merely could have been Typical Male Obliviousness on his part.
DeletePiles of clutter drive me bonkers, especially if it belongs to someone else. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I suppose I'm a show-off girl with lots of masculinity in me, as I prefer to be back in. It makes departing much easier as I can see exactly what is in front of me. Our Publix and Target parking lots are full of old people (who don't look where they are going) and young people (who also don't look where they are going). I don't hold up lines of people to do so, though. Of course, the preference would be to pull all the way through; but that's almost like winning the lottery if you find a spot like that in our town, especially this time of year. I always back into our garage, again, as it's easier to depart. Sadly, a few months ago I didn't back in far enough, and I have a small blemish on the front of my hood to prove that my depth perception isn't 100%. If you could have heard the cuss words popping out of my mouth, you'd probably unfriend me. 🤣
I wouldn't dream of going to bed at night without having the coffee machine ready for the morning, even though I'm not usually the first one making coffee..that is an act of service, if ever I saw one.
BB Suz--Ah, Acts Of Service! That is my Love Language for sure. If ever there were a sentence to make me melt, it's this one: I'll Take Care Of It. Even typing it makes me giddy.
DeleteYou and most of the ladies here are certainly making me look bad. I still don't get the difference all that much. Yes, you can see what's in front of you, but it's where the back end is going that's the big deal in both cases.
I do get that your area this time of year is crazy busy with snowbirds of Certain Ages who are not the most adept drivers for whatever reason. Around here it is the very elderly who sit in the parking aisle and wait for the handicapped spots. Yes, the ones that are already occupied. Sigh.
And, hey, the day profanity shocks me is the Apocalypse. I taught in an urban high school for 30 years, remember? The stuff I heard in the hallways would probably fry your eyeballs. Hell, the stuff I heard in the teachers' lounge might make you blush.
I don't back into parking spaces but I do try to park where I can pull through, mainly because I feel it's safer for everyone involved to pull straight out instead of backing out. The camera can only see so much and may not catch that pedestrian that's about to walk right behind your car. Now, I will back my car into the garage every time I come home. Much for the same reason as you, it's not a straight shot down the driveway.
ReplyDeleteI also despise piles and clutter and, of course, I married a man who "needs" his piles and clutter. *sigh* I also try to always do things that will benefit future me; including setting up the coffee maker the night before. Hey, we might actually be twins!
Gigi--Here's what I don't get: it's not a straight shot down the driveway either way, so why is backing up the driveway and into the garage any different than backing out of the driveway and out of the garage? I mean, I get that you can see possible traffic and pedestrians better, but it doesn't make it any straighter. Maybe I'm just being pedantic.
DeleteWhat is it with men/husbands who pile stuff up and drive us crazy? Who have Clutter Blindness and such a high tolerance for ... crap? My tolerance for that is becoming Dangerously LOW.
I am halfway in team Nance! Haha. I am a big fan of getting it done now so that you don't have to do it later. I always make my bed, even if I am leaving a hotel room, even if it is the last day. There are some things that you just do now and then get to enjoy later and that is one of them (obviously not if I am leaving, but why would I leave a mess?) I used to back into my driveway as it is easier to pull out forward and generally easy enough to back in. I back into my parents driveway too. I don't usually back in when I am at the grocery store; that seems totally like a man thing, but I definitely would pull through as long as its not a busy parking lot, as you do run the risk of someone pulling in at the same time. Often where I lived you did not back or front in, you had to parallel park, so I also am often the designated parking person if that is the case. I have had several friends ask me to do it for them.
ReplyDeletePS When I read your title I thought the post was going to be about getting older and prepping for that! My parents bought a house with one level in a city with doctors nearby and are readying things for the days when they won't be as mobile, and for some reason that is where my mind went! PS my Dad nearly always backs into spots, but damn, that man can back up anything (a large trailer, big rig, tractor etc.!)
Kyria--Your parents are wise. We're already in a small home with everything on one floor except laundry. If need be, our washer and dryer can be moved upstairs into the breakfast nook in the kitchen area and a barn door or bifold door can be added. And the lakehouse is all on one floor already.
DeleteI make my bed every single day as well. I like all the doors to all the rooms in the house open, so that's one reason. The other is, of course, because it's nice and neat and fresh to climb back into. AND IT'S JUST THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
In our neighbourhood, the only people who back in to their driveways are the men. This is without exception now that the woman who used to do it has moved. We were glad she did; she used to pull out of her driveway at top speed and almost hit kids on more than one occasion.
I will almost always back into a parking spot if it won't hold up other people parking. Parking makes me nervous and parking lots make me nervous, I am constantly sort of hunched expecting to be crashed into, so if I can just drive away rather than backing away first it lessens my anxiety. In addition, there are some spots that are just easier to back into than to drive into. Plus my daughter thinks it's cool and my husband says it makes him fall in love with me all over again.
ReplyDeleteI am terrible in the mornings, so I do everything I can the night before so getting ready and leaving for work is just a matter of getting dressed, grabbing my assorted bags of stuff and leaving. We don't have a garage door opener and the garage is too small to back into, so that part of the morning is always a bit of a pain in the winter, especially when I have the dog in her carrier to bring to my parents.
Bibliomama--LOL! I think anything that makes your husband all gaga is definitely worth doing. And attaining Cool Points from the kids is a no-brainer.
DeleteDo you always take your pup to her grandparents for daycare? I am absolutely loving this whole idea and scenario. I know Sam would love it if he could bring Zydrunas here for the day while he's at work, but PiperCat makes it impossible. Heck, I'd love it, too.
I am incapable of backing into a parking space, even with a back up camera. I have terrible spatial awareness. I just can’t do it. I was with a backer inner on Wednesday when I was in MD for work and surprise - it was a guy.
ReplyDeleteI also try to make life easier for future Lisa. I pick out my outfit and hang it in the bathroom the night before. I set the coffee pot up so I just have to push brew. I pack up my lunch and snacks the night before so I just have to grab the bag from the fridge in the morning. I like to do as much the night before as is practical!
Lisa--I, too, have lousy spatial awareness, so I have to be On High Alert when I back up. I love my backup camera, but I still cannot trust it entirely, I know. And thank you for validating my theory even though it's been beaten up badly by so many of my ladies here.
DeleteWhen you're working and have busy children, what you describe are not only caretaking actions, they are survival skills. Keeping stress at bay guards your health; I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Bravo to you for minimizing stress and therefore the chance of a flare.
Oh, parking! I am very picky about that. I think I have only tried to back into a space twice in my life. I am horrible at getting exactly between the parking lines, even with my new car that has a camera. The camera lies, lol! I DO like to be able to just drive straight out from a parking lot because I hate being wedged between a couple of monster trucks that completely block my view. My solution is like yours: parking far from the entrance to the store where I can almost always find a space that allows me to have my car facing out with complete visibility of any possible cross traffic. In our condo parking lot (where there are no assigned parking spaces) there are actually 2 spots for parallel parking right in front of the stairs going up to the condo. Most of the time, at least one of them is free. I've gotten pretty good at parallel parking, and I leave the car positioned to drive straight ahead to the exit.
ReplyDeleteGetting stuff ready the night before: I always did that before I was retired as well. And still do if there is some kind of appointment I/we have to go to in the morning. I can’t stand getting in a flap right before I leave because I suddenly remembered something I had to take with me and have no idea where it might be. Clothes are trickier to plan ahead for because lately it could be anywhere from 30 – 80 degrees outside. I usually come up with layers that are possible and pick whichever flavour combo works when I open the front door to test the waters.
Clutter makes me anxious, too, when it comes to the basics (clean kitchen, etc.) I am guilty of having piles of paper in places when it is not anything I know I will need urgently. I do get to it before it’s been there long enough to get on my nerves, though. It took me a long time to finally figure out that if I didn’t immediately know where to put it… it either needed to go straight to the “circular file” or I needed another envelope/folder to store it. And honestly, since I’ve retired, just the medical stuff that accumulates is overwhelming. Most of it can be tossed, but they always either mail you stuff or send you home with reams of information that you have to plough through to make sure there isn’t a little tidbit buried on page 11b that you really do need to keep. *sigh*
Mr. O. doesn’t have many clutter issues. Except for clothes clutter. I seem to remember discussing that in a long ago post, lol: no matter if it is old, faded, full of holes, falling apart at the seams. He wants it because “It’s COMFORTABLE.”
Ortizzle--Good to see you here, my dear, especially knowing all of your recent concerns at home.
DeleteClothes clutter! Rick is the same. His closet is so tightly packed that it's ridiculous. And there are two clothes rods in there. Yet, he wears the same old stuff over and over again and refuses to get rid of a single thing. I just went through all of my clothes and EVEN MY HIGH HEEL COLLECTION and collected a donation to be picked up next week. Does he have a single thing to add? No, nope, and not. I just need to give up. I will give up. I will. Sigh.
I am constantly thankful that we have a two-drawer file cabinet. When in doubt, I put the papers in a manila folder, label it, and stick it in the file cabinet. Every year, I/we go through the files and discard anything that is obsolete. Everything is always right there, yet not unsightly or disorganized.
Every time I parallel park--which, admittedly, is not often--I do a little celebratory car dance. When I took my driver's license test, I failed parallel parking the first time. The second time, I barely squeaked by. Teenaged Nance feels so vindicated!
I took my driver's license test twice as well. The first time I thought the cop was very unfair: he failed me for not using my turn indicator quickly enough when he signaled me to change lanes for a right-hand turn at the next stoplight. Sheesh. I passed the second time… with the same cop. He winked at me when he got in the car and asked if I had been “practicing” more. 🙄
DeleteAs for the parallel parking part: my father trained me well. He took me over to my high school where there was an area for students to practice parallel parking. There were a couple of posts that could be moved to lengthen or shorten the distance marked for parking. After explaining the basic manoeuvres I needed to make, my father placed the posts with about 4 extra feet beyond the length of the car. I drove around a few times and figured I had aced it, but my dad insisted that I still needed to perfect the distance from the curb. Unbeknownst to me, he started moving the posts closer and closer together while I was driving down to the little cul-de-sac at the end of the road to turn the car around and try again. Suddenly, I started getting worse and worse at it. I was so frustrated until I spied him in the rear view mirror. It was torture at the time, but I aced the parallel parking on my first test.
My dad also made sure I knew a few other basics about cars: how the engine works, how to change spark plugs, and how to change a tire. Changing a tire was kind of like the parallel parking episode: after I did it successfully the first time, he casually said: “O.K., that’s great. Now let’s do a full tire rotation!” Lol. —Years later when I was living in Bahrain (before going to Spain), I discovered I had a flat tire one day when I was leaving “the King’s beach.” I casually opened the trunk, got out the jack and set to work. As it happened, Sheikh Isa bin Salman Al Khalifa, was on his beach that day, and when he spotted a woman trying to change a tire, he immediately sent over several of his flunkies to help out the lady in distress. He then invited me to share a martini with him. Pretty sure that was my first martini, lol. —Apologies for the novel here, but I have had so many cars and car anecdotes over the years, I think I could add another chapter to my memoirs on that subject alone. 😂😂😂
Ortizzle--NO YOU DID NOT ALSO MEET *AND* SHARE A MARTINI WITH A SHEIKH. I swear, the number of bigshots/dignitaries/heads of state that you have met never ceases to amaze me. And you always drop it in my Comments with such nonchalance. I cannot even keep track anymore.
DeleteMy father did not teach any of us to drive or parallel park. He was notorious for having zero patience and an unpredictable temper. If he got frustrated or fearful for us, his first response was anger. He was also not the best driver. My mother was the point person for driving instruction, having incredible patience and driving skills. She didn't even get her license until well into her thirties, I believe. My dad was famous for his rolling "stops" at stop signs and for driving down the center of many roads in his huge Lincoln Continentals.
Your dad was a crafty one. His method worked, however, and good on him for teaching you to change a tire. I have no idea how to do that, but I sure know how to call someone who does.
The backing-in-to-parking-spots phenomenon puzzles me. The only time it makes any sense at all, to me, is when attending a sporting event. Being able to vacate a parking spot quickly and without needing to back up into the flow of eager-to-leave fans is worth the initial irritation.
ReplyDeleteI am always talking to my daughter about making things easier for Future Her. Not that I am always great about taking care of Future Me, of course. But I do *try.*
suzanne dbd--I don't get it, either, but boy! is my initial theory being proven completely wrong by my ladies commenting here, who are all Backer-Inners. Who knew? All I know is that I had no idea so much thought went into parking.
DeleteBravo for making the effort and for being a good role model for your daughter. Women need to do everything they can to help themselves and other women. It's not like we can depend on the current climate of men.
Your Rick sounds like my Rick. There is a reason why we don't live in the same house -- at his, the piles of clothes on the bed (or floor), the kitchen table that is so full it looks like the normal curve -- these make me crazy. That said, I admit to having a lot of clutter but it's organized. On neat shelves or in piles. Or usually. No claims of being perfect here -- there are plenty of pretty bad spots -- but they usually aren't in the middle of the room! (That said, he'll take a toothbrush to the radiator exchangers on the floor and you don't want to count the cobwebs in my house!) So, he has many good points!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, when I was working I often put my clothes out the night before. Anything to make it easier! Now it doesn't matter so much.
But when it comes to parking he and I are on the same page. No backing in. I stand a much better chance of bumping both my car and whomever is behind me if I back in -- and it's never straight. And it's harder to get to the trunk to put things in if it's backed in to another's car. Our kid is a backer-in with his truck and that's even worse. A good drive-through is different. I love that, and even better if it's by the cart corral. The last time I hit anything was when I was backing out. There would be much to say for my not backing up at all-- into or out of the parking space.
I love those pieces by Melissa Kirsch in the newsletter. She "gets" me.
Jeanie--There are times when I admit that I'd like my house back. As in, when Rick was still working 8 hours a day. And when I was still well enough to do the cleaning religiously. I remember when Rick set the date for his retirement, and my son Sam said, "Dad. Mom really, really likes her quiet alone time." He already--and very wisely--knew of the clash to come.
DeleteYou and I are the same in the good pull-through near the cart corral. Especially since I also end up getting other carts that were selfishly abandoned and putting them in the corral.
Melissa Kirsch has a very pleasant writing voice. I subscribe to several NYT newsletters, and I highly recommend them.
I agree with you about backing in - it seems like a waste of time and also I'm a terrible parking in the best of times, so having to try to do it backwards? An exercise in frustration!
ReplyDeleteI always pick out my clothes the night before. Morning Dana is NOT awake (she may appear awake, but trust me, this is not true). I don't trust her to pick out clothes. But other than that I fear I'm more Rick than Nance. I don't want piles, but I also don't want to do the work to make them go away. I often put last week's laundry away while doing this week's laundry. And stacks of junk mail don't even get noticed (if I get the mail they go straight in the recycle bin, but usually Mike is the one getting the mail & he's even worse than I am!).
I can't wait until I retire and can up my sloth game even more!
...terrible PARKER...
DeleteBug--You and I could never be roommates! (But you already knew that.) I will say that I was not so neat and organized as a child, much to my older sister's dismay, and she was my roommate. I think it took me going away to college and living in such teensy cramped quarters to make me more tidy and how to make things stay that way. Plus, the stress of college made me want to control my environment and keep it calm.
DeleteMaybe that's the key--being a Control Freak. You seem pretty laid-back. Stay that way!
Glad to know you agree with me on the parking thing. I feel like I'm getting beat up pretty soundly here in Comments!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see a car or truck (I feel like it’s typically a truck) backed into a parking space, I think it’s got to be a man. And when I park in a parking lot, especially a busy one, I always pick a farther spot. I have terrible spatial awareness and I hate parking close to other cars. I always say—get my steps in!—but I don’t count steps, so I’m lying. 🤣
Kari--I don't count steps either, but I say the same thing. I don't even wear a smart-type watch. It's too much like having a sort of Boss, and I do NOT take kindly to that in any form.
DeleteMy spatial awareness is not great, either. Neither is my estimating of almost anything like weight or distance. If someone tells me a tree is fifty feet high, I accept it. I have no idea of how high that really is. Or square feet or 500 yards. And if someone says, "How much do you think that dog weighs?" I will automatically be so far off as to sound like an idiot.
Thanks for weighing in on my side of the Parking Theory. I was beginning to think I was a loner, judging by some of my ladies here in Comments!
I am a Big Fan of helping Future Me whenever possible. I do not want to be cursing Past Me because I want to be friends with myself and I would never be as mean to my friends as I sometimes am to Past Me. That means I do a lot of things now when I would be rather napping on the couch with my cat. It doesn't usually mean I'll back into a parking spot because that's harder right now than just backing out will be in the future. But it does mean that I might get somewhere WAY TOO EARLY because parking will be easier then than if I arrived on time. But maybe that's just a manifestation of my anxiety that is out of control.
ReplyDeleteEngie--I get it. Like you, I do try to be kinder to myself, especially these days, and if that means taking a few extra minutes when I'm already doing something to make my future life easier, then I'm all in. And I'm usually considerably happier that I did it. We all need those little moments of Joy in our lives.
DeleteI've never spoken of the mystery to me of why some people insist on backing into spots, but I've thought it. It blows my mind. I'm with you - I don't see how that saves time. I don't know that it's mostly men. I find it a strange habit. How are people so confident in their backing into spot abilities? I'm not a fan of backing into a spot and I still break into a sweat when I remember the times I've had to parallel park GW, our 12 seater. Such an ordeal, esp if people in other cars are looking on - often with horror or if they are in close proximity - with fear that I might hit them. Their fear is real, and I insist on not making eye contact, fearing that my facial expression will add to their terror.
ReplyDeleteI've found another pesky habit people tend to do in parking spaces - they turn on their car, and I pull into the lot - thinking, OH, THIS PERSON IS LEAVING. But then, no. Nothing. They sit there. I believe people hop in their cars and check their email or text someone. Better to do that when not driving, but it does confuse those looking for a spot - esp if they put the car in reverse and their lights tell me they are indeed leaving, but instead they sit there.
I like to look out for myself and plan well the day before, but if push comes to shove . . . I'll opt for more sleep every time. Exhibit A, I should've emptied my overnight bag yesterday afternoon to make my bedtime routine smooth. But alas, I got caught up in things like writing a post and responding to comments and editing an upcoming chapter for my writing group and I had to tiptoe around in my room, where Coach was already sleeping, in order to find my toiletries in my bag and find my phone charger, etc. Consider myself kicked.
I've got a terrible habit of selecting an outfit before my shower. Then, while in the shower, I change my damn mind. What even? Who has time for that. It's silly.
Ernie--The fact that you even drive that enormous van astonishes me, let alone park it successfully. When I look back at the days I drove a huge pickup truck and parked it, I still cannot believe it was me. Who was that woman? AND I HAD TWO BOYS IN CAR SEATS AT THE TIME.
DeleteI, too, have witnessed the Parking Lot Chiller. There they sit, listening to music, phone in hand, car running, and I'm pulling in or out or trying to get out of my car and not even gently tap their car with my door. It can be unnerving. I like to think that they're a Good Samaritan, giving a ride to someone who cannot drive and who is inside doing their thing whilst their kind driver is merely waiting.
Sleep was always #1 for me forever, so I completely understand your motivation, and it shouldn't be cause for feeling bad. Sleep IS how you take care of Future You!
Oh! I am a good parker! I have been known to back into parking spots, but it definitely not my preferred way. I tend to get nervous about it and like to have a spotter if possible, even with my rear camera on the car. In the LA area, being able to back up into a parking spot is kind of a requirement. You are going to have a very tough time if you can't do it.
ReplyDeleteI think the worst parking experiences I have ever had would have to go to the years I was in college. There was NEVER enough parking and even if I got there early, which I usually did, it took a very long time to get a parking spot. Well, that was at one college, anyway, which was notorious for its lack of parking spots. I attended a total of 4 colleges. Don't ask. Two of them were community colleges, and two of them were State colleges. But the university where I got my degree definitely knew they had way too many students for the amount of parking spaces they had. Didn't stop them from charging an exorbitant amount for the privilege of driving frantically around for a half hour (minimum) before class though. It got pretty rough out there.
Gina--The parking (or lack thereof) in much of California continues to amaze me. Ohio does not have much to recommend itself, besides low cost of living and, of course, me in residence, but it does believe in huge amounts of easy parking wherever you may go.
DeleteI get the whole Attending Several Colleges thing. I attended two and did coursework at a couple more, sometimes at adjunct locations in addition to the main campus. My bachelor's degree is from Bowling Green State U, the flattest place in the world, where student parking was a good 1-2 mile walk from the dorms. It may be different now; that was 100 years ago.