 |
from fbook via google |
If you are one of those crazies who Thinks Snow Is So Pretty, or Loves Winter, or Goes Skiing Or Sledding, or Just Loves Winter Cozy Time, DON'T YOU DARE SAY A WORD ABOUT ANY OF THAT TO ME. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD.
Thank you.
I am fighting this winter with every fibre in my body. It is not going well. Aside from that, what else have I been doing? Let's have a review.
1. I finally read The Correspondent. I read the review that Julie wrote, and she enthusiastically urged me to buy the book, and I'm glad she did. It was wonderful. During this illness and during wintertime, I have trouble focusing/concentrating and mushbrain, and I worried that I wouldn't be able to fully immerse myself in it. That was not the case. This book was so engaging and charming, and I found myself at times identifying so strongly with the titular character. After reading it, it was immediately and lovingly placed on my Favourite Books shelf. Now I'm reading a scholarly nonfiction work called Dark Renaissance about the life and times of Christopher Marlowe, playwright, poet, genius, and spy of Elizabethan England who was murdered before the age of 30. We'll see if I can juggle it along with The Age of Innocence for CBBC.
2. Over the weekend we had the ridiculous snowstorm. On Monday Jared and Jordan moved to their new home during the leftovers of the storm. (And poor Jared has a broken foot that needs surgery this week, and has been in a walking boot for weeks.) While the movers trooped in and out of the house with all the stuff, I was in charge of Theo. Rick had gone over earlier to snowblow their driveway. It snowed the whole day, and the front door and back door had to be open the whole time. I wore my heated coat. Theo stood at the front window watching them bring items in, excited about seeing all their things coming to The New House. At other times, we played Airport and Airplane in his parents' big walk-in closet. This is a very happy move: not only will they be less than 20 minutes away instead of an hour, they needed the extra room because Theo will be a big brother in August. If he has his way, the new baby will be named Crocodile.
3. I have been to my doctors--two of them in two days this month. All I can say is that it's devastating to hear two days in a row from medical professionals that there really isn't anything they or medical science can do for me. I am in a sort of dead zone of medicine. There is new research ongoing, mostly due to Long Covid, so that's at least something. But right now, aside from some stronger muscle relaxers that can help with my pain at night, there's nothing. I've learned how to rest, but it still feels like giving up to me. Even showering can wear me out. And I used to shovel the driveway and take my walk on the same day!
4. And speaking of those Rest Days, I have actually gone without my mascara on those days! I used to think that was a Venial Sin pretty much, but now, I just don't care. AND! I don't wear real clothes on those days, either. I wear a Lounge Outfit and a cardigan. I mainly do this for the technicality; no one can accuse me of wearing my jammies all day if I am officially wearing a Lounge Outfit and a cardigan (even though it looks and feels like I am doing just that). Rick enthusiastically supports this and says ridiculous things like, "You look great!" and "I tell you all the time that you don't need makeup", but the most important thing he says is, "Why bother when you're not going anywhere?" and this is the comment that really sells it for me. I mean, duh.
5. Can you nap? I mean, actually fall asleep during the day? I cannot, and I never have been able to. Obviously, it would be very helpful these days, but try as I might, I just can't. Right now, Rick is sleeping on the couch; it's 4:30 and Judge Judy is yammering, but he's sound asleep. His breathing is heavy and deep. It happened almost instantly--one moment he was talking about being sleepy, and the next he was doing it! Sleeping, just like that. I also cannot put a blanket on over my clothes. It just feels awful to me. I can, however, put a blanket over my Lounge Outfit. It's completely different somehow. (Just now, Rick said very clearly, "Should we go in and start dinner pretty soon?" FROM A DEAD SLEEP. How? I DON'T GET IT.)
Dinner. Ugh. I have been shopping for, thinking about, planning, prepping, cooking, and cleaning up after Dinners for almost FORTY-FIVE YEARS. I am starting to feel about Dinner like I do about Winter. It's almost abusive and brutal anymore. WHEN WILL IT END? How can I continue to endure it? Sigh. I might have Rick clear the ten feet of snow away from the grill and have him start making Dinner. I've had enough.
Yes, making dinner is exactly like an endless winter. Blerg.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that this weather is good for is reading The Correspondent. Somebody tell that groundhog to get his stuff together and bring us an early spring.
Birchie--You know!? Blerg is right. Just hook me up to an IV, give me my coffee, and leave me alone until spring.
DeleteYes. I hear you and acknowledge all of this. Boo hiss to wintery nastiness.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read "The Correspondent" (it's on the list for book club in May, which is the earliest we all can get it from the library). I'm not too fond of epistolary novels, but so many people say it is good. My daughter said that the first part was slow but the second part was worth making it through the first part.
Naps - I, too, long to be able to nap but I will lie down exhausted and just cannot doze off at all. It's an unfair curse.
I suddenly feel a little bit better about my experience in this #$&* snowstorm and bitter cold, because I cannot imagine moving house during this storm.
When our third child was in utero, our two older children named the expected child "Lump", which was apt at that time. Thankfully it didn't stick. Please report back on whether Crocodile sticks. And congratulations!
Congratulations... on the impending addition to the family!
Deleteis what I meant to say
Thank you (and I knew exactly what you were congratulating me for)! We are all thrilled, as I am sure you were, and not just because Lump did not end up as even a nickname.
DeleteI didn't find any of The Correspondent to be slow, but then I am far older than your daughter and appreciate pacing in a novel, being a former creative writing teacher. Like you, I normally don't care for epistolary fiction, but this is a happy exception. I hope you and your book club enjoy it; there will be plenty to discuss.
If you ever find the key to napping, please share. I worry that it's futile and linked to my overall personality.
NEW BABY. Winter sucks, chronic pain sucks (my left knee AND left hand are on strike right now, which means no yoga positions that involve either, and there's something dreadfully appropriate that the only workout I can reliably do right now is the Dead Bug), moving in the winter sounds dreadful, but yay for new baby. There's a Robert Munsch book called... I can only think of the French title, un bebe alligator.... oh, Alligator Baby, duh. Someone needs to get it for Theo.
ReplyDeleteBibliomama--I KNOW. I hear you on the exercise. I can't even do my 96-year old mother's daily workout! If that doesn't make me pathetic, I don't know what does. I'm so sorry about your left-side body pains. I remember my grandmother saying that she felt her body was betraying her, that her mind wanted to do so many things, but her body simply would not let her. I really get it now.
DeleteThanks for the book rec for Theo. He loves books. He even reads to our cat Piper whenever we feed him. I don't know that Piper appreciates it, but I sure do.
I can't even adequately explain how incensed I am that I WANT to exercise and my body is pulling this bullshit. My 84-year-old mother is hypermanic and unmedicated, so don't even get me started on the mom competition. And Eve used to read to her pet grasshopper.
DeleteI am completely charmed by even the thought of a pet grasshopper, let alone one being read to. Stop it immediately.
DeleteI know what you mean about naps. I can be trying to read in the afternoon and having trouble keeping my eyes open but if I close the book and try to nap, suddenly I am wide awake! Ugh!
ReplyDeleteExciting news about the move and baby! Best wishes to them! It's so nice to have family close.
Ellen--Same! I always think, "This is it! I'm doing it!"...and not.
DeleteThank you for your kind wishes and for sharing my good news. I really do feel very fortunate to have both of my sons close by as well as my DIL and little Theo (and soon, Crocodile).
Crocodile. Yes! Love it. Croc for short, perhaps? That bit about Theo's new name for his sib made me laugh out loud. Lad was 2 when I was expecting Ed, and he announced that we should name the baby Two. Fitting, I guess. Then the anesthesiologist (what just happened, I spelled it right on the first try, or I assume I did because it's not underlined in red) came into the delivery room when I was being induced and introduced himself. "Hello, my name is Doctor Tu." (no idea how to spell it). Coach and I exchanged a look, was the universe talking to us? Then we laughed uncontrollably. The new house - not far from you, sounds amazing. I shudder to think of doing all that in the winter snow.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are aligned perfectly on the same page when it comes to winter. Blah. Over it. Hate it. That snowman pic is hilarious. Napping, on the other hand, I'm like Rick. I can sleep standing up, sitting straight up at church. You name it. I'm sorry you aren't wired that way.
I'm really sorry about the medical news. That bites. I'm sure (even when you do leave the house) that your wardrobe is perfectly acceptable. Comfort is key.
Coach is the only one who uses our grill, and my girlfriends like to scold me, reminding me how easy it would be if I grilled. Ah, yes - but then What would Coach do? How could he ever contribute to the daily-dance that is dinner. I cook big batches and we live on leftovers a good deal of the time. It's taken years and adding two difficult traumatized kids to the mix, but Coach has seen the light. He now grocery shops once a week and I do Costco every other. Wonders never cease.
Stay warm. I've been celebrating that it will be in the mid 20s next week - Feb is showing promise and after that is March. We've got this! XO
Ernie--I love your pep talk at the end of your comment. Thank you. A day or so ago, a sportscaster announced that the Cleveland Guardians equipment trucks were leaving for Arizona (spring training) that day, and that pitchers and catchers would be following in a few weeks. I was immediately heartened: I always wait to hear that pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training and then I get very hopeful about the coming of spring. I know it's imminent and that I can make it.
DeleteLOVE your 2/Tu story. I would have felt superstitious enough to have included 2 somewhere, either in the name, the nursery decor, or something. It was TOO much TO ignore.
I think your ability to nap is your body's defense against complete and total collapse, Ernie! I'm so glad you can grab a few Zs here and there.
Hooray for your husband stepping up. I read a quote once that said something like, "Men are forever guests in their own homes" and it's infuriating. I'm so thankful that my sons ARE NOT LIKE THIS.
You stay warm, too. I'm having the same celebration before the bottom drops out next weekend again. I may be shopping for flamethrowers just to see some grass again. XO
Theo will be a big brother!! There was an audible gasp from me...this is the best news. I can't wait till Little Crocodile gets there---double fun!
ReplyDeleteI love that Jared, Jordan, and Theo will be even closer in proximity to you; there's nothing better than that.
Nance, I'm sorry that winter is kicking your butt.
I hate that your health is kicking your butt. I am hopeful that something will improve the outlook, and soon. Being comfortable at home is key to a lot of things, all good things. Why bother with makeup, only to have to wash it off several hours later? You are saving your energy for things that are necessary, like playing airport!
I enjoyed The Correspondent, too!
Preparing dinner never gets better. I mean, we have to eat, but why does it feel like such drudgery?
BB Suz--I know! I'm so excited. The whole family is. It was hard for Jordan to leave her original home; she moved there alone and literally built her life there, doing all the work in the house by herself, including laying floors, doing tile and grout work, learning plumbing and electrical, etc. She really made that house her home.
DeleteThanks for your kind sympathies. I know that Florida is getting some nasty winter, too, and it's just plain Not Fair. What the heck is even going on?
I'm laughing at saving my energy for the serious work of playing airport. Certainly I can wear loungewear for that. I've seen far more "casual" attire at the actual airport.
You know, every single thing about Dinner is Drudgery. Perfect word choice, Suz. I feel like Cinderella before the ball when it comes to Dinner!
Such good news that Jared, Jordon, Theo, and Crocodile are so much closer now! BAH to moving in the middle of a storm, that sounds horrible.
ReplyDeleteI’m so glad that you enjoyed The Correspondent. I may need to buy a physical copy (I listened to it) once it comes out in paperback.
Chronic illnesses are SO DAMN FRUSTRATING, and how much more so to hear your doctors say that they cannot help. ARGH. This makes me angry on your behalf. Have you talked to a functional medicine doctor yet? I don’t know that there’s anything they can do either, but maybe? <3
I’m sorry also about the snow, it has to be so exhausting week after week. You guys are getting walloped, and as always when that happens, it has not rained here in WEEKS. This is our rainy season, and we really need it to snow in the mountains. Fortunately we had a wet end to 2025, so things are not yet dire. But I worry about it.
J--I am so excited about the new baby and them being so much closer that I cannot even tell you. We have made the drive there and back several times now, and it feels like nothing.
DeleteI am ashamed of my ignorance; I am unaware of a functional medicine doctor. I am going to google it immediately and then see what I think. Thank you! I was referred back to my original rheumatologist, the one who diagnosed my severe vitaminD deficiency several years ago, but I haven't gotten an appointment yet. She is one of the top ones at Cleveland Clinic and is booked quite far out.
I thought I read that, for the first time in 25 years, CA is no longer in a drought. I was happy to see this news, but I had no idea that this weather pattern was disadvantageous to you. PLEASE TAKE OUR SNOW. IMMEDIATELY. It just. Keeps. Doing. It.
Even if we don’t get any more rain this winter, we won’t be in drought. But I’d rather get some more water, and take the burden off of you all!
DeleteI loved The Correspondent also, what a great book! (I shall refrain from saying what else I love, so as not to incur your wrath. Though both ice on the sidewalk and ICE in general are both evil.)
ReplyDeleteI think Crocodile is a lovely name. ;-) You know, these days, it might not even cause a raised eyebrow, with kids named things like PIckle and Doorknob ...
Bridget--I'm glad you enjoyed The Correspondent as well. It was a surprising novel. It's one I will reread, I'm sure.
DeleteI know you and I are Seasonal Opposites. At least we both have a deep appreciation for cats.
And speaking of names, I am constantly irritated at some of the undignified names people give their dogs and cats. What dog wants to be called Poundcake? It's terrible.
Oh also - napping. The only time I can take a nap is when I'm getting sick, so that's how I know I'm getting sick. Tim on the other hand, can fall into a deep sleep in the middle of telling you something ...
ReplyDeleteBridget2--I maintain that men--the vast majority of them--can instantly nap because they have ZERO mental load. Women are constantly thinking of LITERALLY EVERYTHING AT ALL TIMES.
DeleteWe've had Winter down here too - a little snow & a lot of ice as per usual. And it's been cold (teens to 20s). AND I am allergic (or sensitive) to whatever they use to treat the roads - sneezing, runny nose, and general ugh. Which really makes me wish I could nap. I mean, sometimes I can fall asleep, and sometimes it's even refreshing, but then I can't sleep at night. So unless I'm on narcotics I try to skip the nap.
ReplyDeleteI really hate hearing that there aren't good answers for what's going on with you. We're so used to Modern Medical Miracles that it's baffling when it doesn't happen.
But little Crocodile! I'm very excited for your family.
Bug--I'm absolutely astonished by the temperatures and SNOW I'm seeing down your way and even further south. How utterly unfair and downright dangerous! And then, to have an allergic reaction to the road brine or whatever, that seems like piling on. I'm so sorry. The world is upside down.
DeleteAnd thank you for your kind words regarding my illness. You really put your finger on it: it's so hard to believe in 2025 that there isn't SOMETHING medicine cannot do.
(Oh, the latest name for Crocodile is Hotdog Poopydoop as of last night. Who knew that Crocodile would be a preferred name?)
OK, but the new name is fabulous! I hope someone is keeping track of these to use for the new baby's graduation party. Ha!
DeleteCongrats on a new baby! And having them closer! That is such great news! When I was pregnant with Will, Paul named him ‘taco cookie’. It stuck. Everyone calls him Taco. I refer to him as Will or William on my blog but I rarely call him that. I wonder when he will decide he doesn’t want to go by Taco. So maybe baby #2 will be crocodile… you just never know!
ReplyDeleteThe wind and snow and cold are so oppressive. And you are in a stage of life where there are no benefits. For me, the snow at least gives the kids something to do and tires them out. You don’t need the extra exhaustion! Sigh.
I have become a napper in the last 3-4 years. I always wear lounge wear on the weekends so I crawl into bed, read, and often fall asleep. It’s lovely. I never used to be able to nap, though. And no one can nap like my dad can - he is similar to Rick and can fall asleep at the drop of the hat and then pop up and rejoin a conversation that is happening in the room.
Lisa--Thank you! The drive to their new house feels like nothing now, and we can be so much more helpful, especially now when Jared has had his Lisfranc foot surgery and there are still unpacked boxes and an energetic toddler. When the new baby comes, it will be even better.
DeleteI do remember now that Will's nickname is Taco and that it was a "christened" name in the womb. I'm really curious as to when and if he decides he'd rather be called Will. Do your parents call him Taco as well? Has it stuck that firmly?
Thank you for your endorsement of lounge wear. I'm really considering getting more of it. And Oppressive is a perfect word for this winter; I'm going to start using it (and I'll give you credit). It is exactly how I feel--Oppressed.
Congrats on the impending arrival of Crocodile!!
ReplyDeleteI have a hold placed on The Correspondent at the library but I'm number 123 in line...so unless those other 122 readers are fast readers, it's going to be a while before I get my hands on it. *sigh*
Like you, I am also over winter already. We had an ice event last weekend, which meant we couldn't safely get out until today and apparently, we are expected to get snow this weekend too. Which means we will be housebound again for an unknown amount of time.
Naps...no matter how tired I might be, I simply cannot nap during the day. I can easily go to bed at 8:00 pm; but nap, I cannot.
Gigi--Thank you. We just heard today that Theo changed his mind, and he now prefers the name Hotdog Poopydoop. I worry we are devolving.
DeleteI've been alarmed at the terrible winter you Southerners are enduring. How on earth are you managing? I wonder how your native trees and other plants are going to weather this.
I'm not surprised that so many women are unable to nap. Our minds cannot ever truly shut down, such is our mental load everpresent. Men...well, you know why they can nap much more easily.
But the snow is pretty? I mean, it could also be pretty at above zero.
ReplyDeleteThe Correspondent was SO GOOD. Why aren't all books so good?
Yay for Crocodile. Imagine when there are TWO of them running around.
NGS--I don't even see snow as pretty. Ever. It always represents cold and a barrier to me.
DeleteI'm always thrilled when a book is SO GOOD. It's like finding a 20-dollar bill in a jacket pocket or an old purse, but sustained.
I'm already imagining it, and it's nothing but Joy. Mixed with exhaustion, but Joy nonetheless.
I can't believe I forgot to say this before, but can I nap? CAN I NAP? Nance, I am the QUEEN of the nap. I get in the passenger seat of a car and I'm asleep in five minutes. Lay down and the cat lays on my chest purring away? I'm out. Simply lay down on my bed because I have minutes - this is dangerous because you know I'm asleep. It is a superpower and you can be jealous of it because it's amazing. (I am considering turning off the lights in my office and crawling under my desk to take a nap RIGHT NOW.)
DeleteEngie--Oh, I am beyond Jealous. I am Envious to the point of Resentment. As in, right now I am exhausted, there are 45 minutes until dinner, last night's sleep was NOT restful at all, and I can't even lie back in the recliner and be in danger of a quick snooze. How I wish I were you! You truly are a superhero! The Amazing Napping Woman--ANW for short. If I had any talent, I'd make you a cape with those letters emblazoned upon it.
DeleteAbusive effing snow. I laughed so hard I scared my dog. I am with you, Nance. This winter is treating us like a baby treats a dirty diaper.
ReplyDeleteI’ve had The Correspondent on my TBR list for months and keep hearing such good things about it. Mike is having surgery in two weeks, and I want a good book to keep me company while I’m at the hospital. I just put it on hold thanks to your review.
Number two made me smile. Yay for babies and yay for sibling-given names. Crocodile is a lovely name. My best friend’s daughter is expecting baby number two, and her first wanted to name the baby Hat or something similar. I love things like this. His name will be Theo 💜
Dead zones of medicine are so incredibly frustrating. I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
I don’t bother if I’m not going anywhere either. Comfort is key. I look forward to go-nowhere days more than any other kind.
My husband can sleep almost on command, and I don’t get it either. It feels like a man thing. I long to nap, but my body rarely allows it. I took a nap this week for the first time in months, and it was lovely.
I am so tired of thinking about what to cook, what to buy at the grocery store, and how to put together a meal. No one tells us this when we’re young. I’ve told both of my daughters the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what you want to eat every day for the rest of your life.
Kari--Another Theo in the world! I think that's surely a good thing.
DeleteThank you for the kind words of sympathy regarding my condition. I keep thinking I will wake up one day and it will all be gone somehow. How lovely that would be.
I truly think you'll love The Correspondent. It says a great deal about life, aging, relationships, priorities, and being gracious along with having a good story. I think it will make a very good hospital waiting room read.
If your daughter is smart, she'll start a Meal Journal right now! Or a Quick Recipes Journal. Your words are so very true, my friend.
I won't talk to you about weather. I just hope it gets better soon. I will talk to you about...being a grandma again! Yay, yay, yay! Baby crocodile will be well loved and I am sure you are super excited! And having them so close now will be even better (I know I am not supposed to start a sentence with the word "and" but I am excited for you)! I am sorry about your pain, but am happy that you are getting more comfortable in your loungewear. I say hail to loungewear and lots of it. When I was a kid, we used to have a neighbor who I thought was extremely old, but in reality he was likely in his 50s (!) and he always wore the same outfit. I don't know if he had been in the military, but his outfit du jour was green slacks, green shirt. As he aged, he eventually swapped over to grey sweats, white tee shirt and/or grey sweater. When he died, my parents cleaned out his house and he actually had like 5 sets of each thing! The EXACT SAME outfit x 5! I am moving my way towards that, but mine is black pants, black shirt! When we love it, why not do it over and over!
ReplyDeleteKyria--I start sentences with And all the time; as a longtime writer, I call it Style. Besides, this is not a formal forum, by any means. I don't ever look at such things here, especially since we are all among friends.
DeleteThank you for sharing my joy about the new arrival, who Jared informs me Theo has now christened Hotdog Poopydoop. I desperately hope it changes again, even back to Crocodile.
You know, I am all over your neighbor's uniform (love that story!) and how it transitioned. When I first retired, I wore jeans, but I still wore blazers and various ballet flats or short boots. Little by little, I've transitioned to black leggings every single day and just change out the shirt/sweater. My ballet flats are now slip-on, Vans-style sneakers. It's so easy and comfy. Your last sentence says it all.
Dearest Nance,
ReplyDelete1. READING: Lately, I have started re-reading books already on my shelves. Books that haven’t been read for yonks. Right now I am into Anne Tyler’s A Patchwork Planet. I find it fascinating that, in this re-reading journey, I have noticed how reading a novel several years later (decades in some cases) gives a deeper appreciation for certain details that didn’t stand out before. Age and life experiences definitely contribute to a fresh perspective whilst still enjoying all the nuances of her characters. Should be an obvious expectation, but it didn’t really hit me until I started this.
2. A WINTER’S TALE: Oh, dear, yes: snow, snow go away, you wretched evil fiend! —OK, we don’t get much snow. But last week we got hit with sub-freezing temperatures and a winter storm that did multi-tasking with snow, freezing rain, sleet, and, worst of all, literally endless ice pellets falling from the sky for hours on end. Spent 5 days housebound. On Thursday the sun came out and unfroze the roads enough to venture out foraging for food of which we were in dire need by then. No one expected the after-effects of the storm to last that long. Mr. O’s surgery on Tuesday got postponed. Which was disappointing, but also a relief: no way was I going to take on the Dallas North Tollway, a.k.a., the ice capades. And, yes, they salted the roads beforehand, but the layer of ice was 4” thick just on our balcony stairs. Had to take a hammer to hack it off on Thursday so we could get downstairs to the car.
All of that said, we do not suffer every winter with endless weeks weeks of snow. Incredible everything your family had to face to help Jared and Jordan move in. On the bright side… so very happy that they will be living closer to you. Wonderful news also about Theo being a big brother!!
3. THE DOCTORS: Such sad news from your latest visit. I hope the research on this gets fast-tracked. Meantime, I am amazed at how well you are coping in spite of the horrible exhaustion. Sending you a huge virtual hug for what it’s worth.
4. WEARING MAKE-UP: I’ve always been on the minimalist side. Since I retired, it’s even more minimalist: eyebrows and lipstick mostly. I have about 4 hairs in each eyebrow and (oddly or not), I use brown eyeshadow to brush in a shape. Which helps a lot. If there is a special occasion, I will add some light eye shadow, but no mascara. I can’t deal with having to use “products” to remove it all the time. Unless, once again, there is a special occasion.
5. NAPS: Luis naps off and on during the day because he often has terrible insomnia. I can only nap when I am exhausted, and usually on a day when I wake up really early in the morning and have to go full steam on chores around the house, shopping, and, lately, the endless paperwork for various and sundry doctor visits.
Planning, prepping, cooking, and cleaning up after dinners: oh, let’s not even go there. The workiest part for me lately is thinking of 2 different menu options because, sadly, Mr. O. doesn’t like to eat a lot the healthier options that I prefer more and more these days. It’s a compromise. Or 2 different meals. But either way, greatly, greatly simplified down to the basics most of the time.
XXOO
Ortizzle--My dear friend. I am daily horrified by what the South is going through with this horrid winter. It's not only terribly unfair, it's life-and-limb dangerous! Your experience with Luis and just getting out of your house is a Case In Point. Unreal.
DeleteI'm going to go on my own Rereading Journey as well this year. I have so many wonderful books on my bookshelves, and I always experience the same thing you described. Even books I taught for decades and have reread literally dozens of times still afford me new things each time. I'm so looking forward to renewing those acquaintances.
Like you, I would rather eat much lighter and more healthfully, and I have gotten Rick to enjoy eating vegetarian at least 3-4 meals per week. But he does need to have his beast meals, so we still do have them. He loves to pick around with leftovers, so that's a relief, and he is not fussy. Another bonus--he is a terrific prep assistant, especially now when chopping is so tiring.
Thank you for sharing my Joy, and I will take all the virtual hugs you send! You know what you mean to me. XOXO
I was so pleased to see your post today -- and so much resonated in so many ways! I hear you on winter and agree with every thought, every word. It's bloody cold out and even though I'm sure you have more snow than we have, I realize it's less the snow and more the cold that is keeping me inside. I forced myself to get a ticket to a play this afternoon and it will be good to go and see -- and yet, it means leaving the house. And speaking of things that can't be cured. I'm there too -- no cure, just managed. I guess that's better than no-cure-and-immeidately-terminal but it's still frustrating, both to me and to others. So I hope you can at least find something that will ease the symptoms and help some. That last visit had to be deeply distressing and I'm so sorry for it. Pain makes it extra hard. But three cheers on abandoning the make-up (I've been much the same, at least when home-alone.) It was an adjustment, especially when I looked in the mirror and looked very -- old. You wouldn't think just eye make-up would make that much diff! And no -- I can't nap in the daytime and I wish I could. Rick can. (Maybe it's a gender thing?) Since my sleeping patterns have changed radically after the fall time change, I'm clocking in at 6 hours a night -- when I'm lucky -- and that's not enough. Even a half-hour now and then would be a bonus. Glad your tribe is moving closer. And yes, another sorely needed reminder to add "The Correspondent" to my pile.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for coming by last week. Hang in. It will melt. Someday.
Jeanie--Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that you're also dealing with a condition that can only be managed. If you're like me, you're sick of tossing pills at symptoms, dealing with side effects of those meds, and trying not to be overwhelmed by it all. Like Bug said, above, we're so used to hearing of medical breakthroughs and marvels, we feel astonished and almost betrayed that there isn't one for us.
DeleteI wonder if napping is a gender thing as well. Men rarely have the same mental load as women; they can shut their brains off so much more easily! We seem to constantly have things on our minds, To Do lists running through our brains, plans and tasks that we can't ignore.
Stay warm, do what you can, and yes, we must hang in there. This cannot last forever!
Late, as usual, but even later than usual. So...
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the dinner thing. I am at 63 years of being asked what there is for it, even when the asker will be cooking it. At one point, when I was at my lowest, I cooked and cried. But, damn it all, I did it. Food got on the table, regardless of how I felt about the whole stupid thing. I am now pretty well over that hump, and cooking with good vision, these days.
But I hear you about winter and all that white stuff. I had a medical appt in town, a half hour drive, and the stupid mess was plumping down in quantity as I - very slowly and carefully - got myself home. Here March is Mud Month, and May is biting bug month but April, now, April has violets in the lawn and the birds are back, mostly and the sun is back and
WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH. Me and you too.
I remember my parents' moving us on December 30th, the year I was in Grade 7. I remember how cold and damp the new house seemed, with the reek of the moving truck's exhaust to make it worse. So glad Theo had you and I am delighted he will be a brother. Onlys are lonelies. I was one.
Mary--My friend, this was a heartening comment. You've certainly Been There, and plenty of times. I know I'm not alone in all this mess of snow and cold and disillusionment with dinners.
DeleteJust thinking about my own lawn covered in violets in springtime--which it is, much to my husband's consternation--is such a lovely thought! I know it will happen, but slogging through all this is getting downright torturous.
I never knew you were an only child. The Lonely Only idea was the very reason we had Sam, and is the reason Theo is going to be a big brother. I suspect it's the reason you had more than one, too. XO
Hi, Nance--You've been on mind mind so much. We got the big snow and ice storm on the 24th and 25th and it's still pretty hellacious around here. The six inches or so of snow by itself would have been pretty tolerable but the ice crust (up to 2 inches per some) on top after hours of freezing rain has completely changed the game. I can still walk on top of it without it caving in. It's only because I have AWD and snow mode in my new car that I can get in and out of my driveway at all. Many still can't get out their driveways. A lot of folks haven't received mail since the storm. A friend was expecting important papers in the mail and waited an hour in line at the main post office today to get them and all of his mail. There have been lines like that the last several days. I've never seen ice like this before. Regular snow removal equipment can't touch it and our very cold temps have not allowed any melting. I picked a very bad time to decide I was going to give up burning wood. I think I'll be changing my mind on that. Still, all that said, this extreme weather is more uncommon for us. You have to deal with it every single winter. That's really horrible.
ReplyDeleteAnd moving during such conditions would be a challenge beyond measure. They're so lucky they had you all helping it. Thank goodness for your heated coat! I am so glad they're so much closer to you now. That's really fabulous. Hope Jared's foot will be repaired soon and his recovery is swift. Any foot issues are awful.
And Theo getting a sibling? That's going to be both exciting and so much fun! Especially with the name Crocodile!! Haha. That is the best. Thank goodness for the joy and humor that Theo and so many other children give us. I'm excited about a new picture book called Piggy by Ann Hood. I immediately wanted to order it for my younger great nephew who is turning one in April but it won't be out until May I believe. So perhaps it will be a later present for him.
I'm glad you're listening to Rick about being comfortable on your rest days. It seems that the people who need naps the most don't seem to be able to get them. Smokey could nap in a heartbeat, just like Rick. I'm not a normal napper but I have napped when I've been recovering from surgery, Ehrlichiosis, etc. I worry that if I was able to nap now that I wouldn't be getting a full night's sleep.
I wish you could get the rest you need and that there were viable treatment options. It's very cruel that there aren't. WTF? With all the medications they have for everything else (a lot of pure vanity BS IMO), they should have some helpful ones for you. I just hate that for you. I can say that I hope the research they're doing for long COVID yields some helpful treatments and I certainly do but it must feel like wishing on a star or something similar. How can this be reality?
Dinner. Well, that's one advantage of living alone. It's hard to be motivated to fix meals for even myself these days. I tend to do a late lunch/early dinner one main meal thing these days. It sounds kind of ridiculous to state my food "plan" that way but I have no doubt that I'm getting enough food in. My snacks are apples, nuts, etc. so I think I'm doing just fine. I don't envy you still having to worry about dinner for both of you. There aren't great alternatives really. I know that I'd be more motivated to make a meal for two of us but that motivation would only get me through a few meals. lol
The Correspondent was an absolute delight. It keeps crossing my mind as I get more reflective about my own life and future. The fact that it's a debut novel is simply stunning to me.
Btw, this is not the order in which I wanted to reply to your five items but I was losing things when I tried to cut and paste and move things around so I gave up on that.
Sending you love and hugs as always. I wish I could provide more comfort and actually do something helpful for you. xoxo,
Shirley
Shirley--My dear friend! When I saw all the ice and snow you were getting down there in VA, I was absolutely incredulous. It's one thing to get a snowstorm here, but I know that the dangers of ice in the South are many and life-threatening. And you have all those trees! I'm glad you're okay and able to get around in your nifty new car.
DeleteThank you for all your kind words regarding Theo and my condition. We've been going over to Jared's place this week, helping out while he recovers from Lisfranc surgery on his foot--two screws to repair the break and torn ligaments. I come home and hit the recliner and heating pad to rest and recover; Theo is perfectly behaved, but he is Very Busy and likes his Nana to be very involved. He's very excited about the new baby and talks to it frequently, telling it all kinds of important stuff.
I'll be on the lookout for the picture book you mentioned. Theo has a million books, but he loves them all. Jared just sent me a photo of him reading to his cat, George, in the sunshine. I'm so glad you liked The Correspondent. I'm no longer amazed at debut novels; To Kill a Mockingbird was one, and there have been so many good ones. I sometimes feel as if writers have that genius stored up for so long, and that first novel is a torrent of it.
I feel like if I were cooking for just me, it would be vegetarian and a lot of salads, with a great deal of snacky-type meals, as you described. In other words, UNcooking!
Stay warm down there, and be careful driving in all that ice. I hope you thaw out soon. Knowing you're there is always a comfort to me. XOXO
Dear Nance, I want to reply to everything all at once... but I keep returning to you and Theo playing Airport and Airplane in the new house only 20 mins from yours. That is loveliness.
ReplyDeleteMy first response to your doctors was was a refusal to accept their offer--come back with a better offer, I want to say. I'm glad you're taking the rest you need (and that you're not shoveling snow?) It sounds like you miss your walks, but the coziness of your Lounge Outfit sounds perfect in its own way. All the college girls in our college town are wearing velvety Lounge Outfits, it looks like. I saw a fancy martini glass the other day and thought about your ritual! I wish I could get it to you.
Can't wait for the end of Winter. I got a seed catalogue in the mail yesterday, perhaps that's a sign?
maya--Oh, my friend, I felt very much like saying the same thing to my doctors: "WTF? Is that all there is? In all the annals of modern American medicine, this is it?! Well, I DO NOT ACCEPT THAT."
DeleteOf course, I didn't say anything like that at all. Sigh.
Theo has been in airports and on airplanes since he was a tiny baby. He has a passport!
My little basil plants are thriving in their mini greenhouse. I'm already dreaming of pesto, and wondering how my herbs are under all this snow. What are you planting; do you know yet? Have fun browsing and planning!
Would it be very wrong of me to say that it will be 86 degrees here today? I think it would be... I am so very spoiled in not knowing what these things called Snow and Winter are...
ReplyDeleteYay for beloved family being so very close! And double yay for a new addition! Congratulations and best wishes for an easy pregnancy and delivery for Crocodile! Theo sounds like he will be an amazing big brother!
And seriously, we moved when it was fairly windy, gusts about 35-40 miles, which I thought was highly inconvenient and annoying. But I cannot even imagine moving in a snowstorm. I legitimately asked my husband a few days later if people in Northern climes moved when there was terrible weather, and he said, well, if they have to? And I guess, yes, people have to move all the time, weather be damned.
As for the terrible news on the health front, gah. I am so sorry. Having a chronic health condition myself, accepting a new normal SUCKS. It isn't fair. But have I tried to remind myself that there are many who have it so much worse than me that can face their conditions with a much better attitude and I should try to take my cues from them. I am at heart a pessimist. But it has taken me years, and this is still so very new for you, so I completely understand the shock, anger, bitterness, feelings of loss, all of it. But I am not here to lecture you, my dear, just know I am here for you if you ever need anything.
Gina--So nice to see you here! Enjoy your lovely and warm California weather. I know that spring is already there, and it must be beautiful.
DeleteThank you for your best wishes for Jared, Jordan, Theo and New Baby Crocodile. We, too, are hoping for an easy time for Jordan this go-round. Theo was a bit complicated for her, and we would rather things go more simply for #2.
Of course you're right about others having much more severe limitations and circumstances than I do. I am very aware of that and grateful that I can still do many things almost as before. As you know, and as I have said so very often here, Patience is not my gift, and this has been incredibly hard for me to accept and adapt to. And yes, I am bitter, especially since I have always been vigilant about my wellness. As you said, I still need Time, and I will get there. Thanks for your support XO.
Congratulations on the upcoming expansion of your family! I'm crossing my fingers that the pendulum will swing from Hotdog Poopydoop back in the direction of Crocodile. Or maybe in a new direction to something even more entertaining. When I was pregnant with #2, #1 had recently seen 'The Love Bug', announced that he wanted us to name the baby 'Herbie', and was deeply offended when we didn't. 'Herbie' did, however, hang on as a nickname for quite a while; hopefully HdPd will have been consigned to the annals of history before New Baby makes an appearance. Jared and Jordan have all my sympathy trying to move in this weather (and with an injury!): I have friends in Cincy and Dayton and they are absolutely Over This Snow. Our winter here in central/western Germany has been colder than usual - not much snow - but since we live in the top floor of our apartment building and have a dog, that means I am wrapping up in what my youngest calls my 'tundra suit' at least 4x per day to make my way across the street to stand, teeth chattering, in the park while the dog shivers, looks at me reproachfully, and refuses to perform. I've already told Mr.O, I don't care what country we end up in next, but when we get there, I want some grass of my very own that I don't have to suit up and ride in an elevator to get to. I'm sorry to hear that you got such discouraging news from your physicians. I have a number of friends with chronic illness and have heard about how challenging it can be to find specialists who are up on the latest research and actually provide help. Have you joined any organisations for people with the same condition? I've found groups like that tend to be a great resource for finding specialists and information, not to mention commiseration and support. Oh, and as far as dinner goes - we do a lot of soups and salads. The soups are great because with just 2 of us, I can get at least 2 dinners out of them and they usually taste better the second time around. The salads usually involve some sort of grilled or sauteed protein plopped on a bed of greens and whatever other veggies I have in the crisper. I cook more interesting things at the weekend, but during the week, I am all about efficiency. MrO doesn't complain because he doesn't want to do it either, so at least I don't have to deal with unrealistic expectations. I hope by the time you read this, the thaw will have begun and Spring will be on its way. I saw the leaves of some bulbs (daffodils? Crocus?) today while I was freezing to death in the park, and it definitely lifted my spirits.
ReplyDeleteMs. Caroline--It's early--waaay early--yet for any sign of daffodils or anything like that here in NEO, even if we didn't have a foot of snow on the ground. We've had something like 26 days of below freezing weather now, and almost that many without sunshine. We've all hit our limit--nay, exceeded it. Today it's supposed to climb into THE FORTIES, and I absolutely am going outside just to breathe real air that doesn't hurt my face.
DeleteThank goodness I have a cat and his shitbox in the basement. My sympathies!
Thank you for the suggestion about finding a local group, but honestly, I am getting so much support and info from my readers/blogfriends that it's incredible. I've been sent links to research articles and other resources as well as so many kind people who share their stories and offer anecdotal treatments and tips. I'm so grateful and awed by my Dept. of Nance community.
Last night for our dinner, Rick had leftover stroganoff and I had one mug of terrible canned soup (I tossed the rest, Progresso's Italian Wedding Soup; it was awful). After that, I treated myself to two slices of my chocolate chip banana bread and didn't feel at all guilty about it. We also do big salads often, and I like to do a baked potato night, inspired by my son who cooks, Jared. Our most recent one was a broccoli cheese potato. I'm always thankful that Rick is not picky and likes simple meals.
It's always a treat to see you here, Caroline. Thank you for your kind words regarding Theo and #2. We are so excited, and so far, everything is going just fine.
Hi Nance, I always enjoy your comments on our mutual friends' blogs, so I thought I'd stop by. I'm glad I did! I believe we live in the same general area, and yes, this winter has been terrible! I think we've been spoiled the last 8 years or so and winter returned with a vengeance. Every time I drive by a huge snow mound in a parking lot that is completely black, I laugh at those who consider snow to be pretty. Please!
ReplyDeleteAnd no to naps. The only time I've ever taken one has been when I've been really sick and I always wake up with a headache. No thanks.
I'm sorry that your health has been so lousy. I'd have to read some of your back posts to catch up. Wishing you some sunshine and pain-free days ahead.
Bijoux--Hello, and welcome to the Dept! I'm glad you're here, and I'm also glad you can commiserate with me about this lousy winter and the distressing abundance of snow this winter. Thank goodness for this next week's forecast--we may actually see grass again.
DeleteAnother Woman Who Cannot Nap! I should write a paper postulating my theory about women and the fact that Mental Load means we cannot turn off our brains sufficiently to sleep, even for a brief stint, during the day. I'm sure it has to do with our myriad tasks and our need for hypervigilance, too. Sigh. FTP yet again.
Thanks for the kind words regarding my condition: it is a sudden onset of myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue, complicated by fibromyalgia. It truly came out of nowhere and is prompting a lot of major changes in my lifestyle and expectations. I'm hoping that when the weather improves, I can get out a little and at least enjoy short walks and fresh air.