Saturday, December 28, 2019

In Which A Pizza Becomes A Life Or Death Matter


We've been basking in Springlike temperatures here in NEO, and that has been one of my favourite Christmas gifts. Rick, still home recovering from his surgery, decided we should take a drive and check on things at the lakehouse. Because I'm like a big old dog, I was happy to jump in the car and go.

On our way there, we passed by the little soft-serve and pizza shack that serves as the sole restaurant for one of the tiny towns on our route. I always scan the sign out front which announces its specials.

Nance: Do you think the pumpkin pie flurry is still there?

Rick: Probably. One thing we do know is that Chocolate is gone 'til at least June.

Nance: I still don't get that. Why do they assume no one wants chocolate ice cream in the winter?

Rick: Who knows?

Nance: (reading from the sign) TRY OUR NEW PICKLE AND BACON PIZZA! Wow. Pickle and bacon.

Rick: Ugh. I wonder who comes up with that stuff.

Nance: Well, whoever it is, I commend them for their bold innovation.

Rick: Yeah? Well I condemn them.

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14 comments:

  1. I'm with Rick on the pickle and bacon pizza. That's just weird. And no chocolate ice cream until spring? Why did they need to announce that on a sign? Let people get out of their cars before finding that out because then maybe they'd pick a second choice flavor instead of just driving on by.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jean--They don't announce that Chocolate is gone on the sign. Everyone knows it, or they do indeed find it out when they go up to order. They do, however, announce CHOCOLATE IS BACK!! on their sign every time it finally returns.

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  2. What? no Chocolate? Where on Earth did that come from? I can see no key lime pie....but Chocolate is one of the basic food groups isn't it? I think it is....right?

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    1. kathy b--Isn't that ridiculous? I cannot think of a single reason not to have chocolate ice cream in the winter. So dumb.

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  3. I agree, how can anyone eliminate chocolate for the entire winter??? Glad to read of your ride. Had to laugh myself while trying to figure out where "NEO" is.. then I looked at your address. Guess I'll start saying I live in "SWO"... (otherwise known as near Dayton).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JanL--Welcome to the Dept! I'm sorry to befuddle you with NEO--my shorthand for Northeastern Ohio. I've been using it for so long that I forget new readers might not be up to speed. I made fun of the acronym years ago when a local news channel first started using it to be cool, (like CLE and The Land) and I used it to poke fun. And darn it, it stuck!

      You go right ahead and use SWO. Let me know if it catches on.

      Delete
  4. Seriously .... have they not heard of HOT FUDGE????

    But, I'm with Rick on the pickle and bacon. Both GOOD things on their own, but on a pizza .............well, probably not.

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    Replies
    1. Dee--I'm certain you can order a hot fudge sundae, but NOT WITH CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM! Not until May or June!

      I know I wouldn't try a pickle and bacon pizza, my taste for both having left me years ago. Interesting to note--on the other side of the sign, it advertised their STUFFED PEPPERS PIZZA. They are really working overtime on the R&D.

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  5. I would probably try pickle & bacon pizza simply because I am a pizza harlot & will try anything (except olives). But I'm going out on a limb & saying it would probably not be my favorite thing.

    Unlike chocolate ice cream which I will eat even when I'm freezing. What the heck are they thinking? Maybe they get a big rush for chocolate in the spring & they sell more chocolate then than they would have all winter?

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    Replies
    1. The Bug--Pizza Harlot has to be the best compound noun I've heard in a very long time. I feel like it should be the heroine's name in a food-themed video game, rated T. Or maybe the name of a pizza shop in a town near me which is known for indie pizza and handcrafted cocktails.

      It's tremendous and should not go to waste. COPYRIGHT IT IMMEDIATELY! BUY THE DOMAIN!

      Next time we drive that way, I will stop at the ice cream stand and ask them about their Chocolate Strategy. (I eat ice cream whilst I am cuddled in my quilt. Yes, even in summertime.)

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  6. Is it only chocolate or all flavors they don't serve during the winter? It does seem very odd to have everything but chocolate. Let us know if you find out! As for me... No ice cream in Casa Ortiz for health reasons (can't have it myself because I just don't digest it well since having my gall bladder out— such a bummer because I really, really like ice cream. Mr. O. hasn't touched it since he got on his diabetes diet a few months ago (which is nothing short of a miracle, because he used to O.D. on dulce de leche before, which is partly why the type 2 diabetes diagnosis was given, for sure.)

    Pickle & bacon pizza: um... I'm with Rick. Also: I can't help thinking that all the juice from the pickles would kinda make for soggy pizza. I guess they drain them well first? —O.K., I just 'googled' that and there are numerous recipes for pickle and bacon pizza, lol! Go figure.

    And while I'm here... my best wishes for you and yours for 2020! Looking forward to more of Dept. of Nance in the coming year. We will likely be in great need of your humorous, therapeutic posts on daily life and the state of the nation. (On the political front, we're in for a roller coaster ride, I think.) XXOO

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  7. Ortizzle--Happy New Year to you and Mr. O as well. We could all use a healthier, less injurious 2020.

    This little ice cream place only has soft-serve; its only two flavours are chocolate and vanilla, which you can have separately or twisted together. During the winter they stop offering the chocolate soft-serve for some mysterious reason. We found out on one of our drives when we stopped for a small cone, and I asked for the twist. After being told they didn't have chocolate, and they never do during the winter, I expressed confusion. The girl behind the walk-up window actually said, "Yeah. Everyone asks for chocolate!" in a very surprised and bewildered tone, like she couldn't understand why all of us didn't understand. I could tell we were at impasse, so I chalked it up to A Small Town Quirk, and let it go.

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  8. Commend-Condemn - LOL. I love bacon on pizzas, but bacon and pickles sounds pretty awful. And no chocolate ought to be punishable!

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    Replies
    1. Vera--I'm an outlier; I am not a fan of bacon unless it's a BLT. And I can't imagine wanting bacon and pickles on a pizza, but odder combinations have worked (I do like pineapple on pizza). I so completely agree with your last statement in its entirety that no context is needed.

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