Sunday, March 24, 2019

The Lesson Of The Rap Star Cow


Longtime Readers here at the Dept. know these two things about me already, but for any New Readers, I will provide you with the Short Version of the necessary Exposition:

1. I love cows.
2. I love car rides.

Number two has many exceptions, but suffice it to say that when I am bored, fussy, and feeling stressed like a colicky infant, it's often a good idea to strap me into the passenger seat of the car and take me out to look at things. The promise of ice cream (or pie) if I behave is not insulting to me in the least.

One of our regular car rides takes us past a particularly attractive herd of beef cattle pastured meditatively on some rolling acreage with the typical red barns. My irritation with this group of--let's call them cows for the sake of simplicity--cows is that they never wander close enough to the road so that I can get a good look at them. Instead, they prefer to stroll and munch much farther away. One cow especially is my favourite; I saw it late last fall when it was a little closer than the others. It was exceedingly tall and almost blue-black and, when it turned toward the road, it had a startlingly white face, unlike the rest of its compatriots. I'm crazy about this cow. I even named it.

I call it Ghostface Killa.

Now, I have no idea how that name came to me, and I know it's not Original. And it's certainly not a Very Nice Name for such a lovely cow. The real Ghostface Killah is actually an American rap artist, about whom I know absolutely nothing. And I definitely don't think this ghostfaced cow is a killer itself, nor that it goes around killing ghostfaces. I'm fully prepared to lay the blame for this name at the feet of my Google Newsfeed, if you want to know the truth. For all I know, it could have stuck a bunch of references to Mr. Killah (I don't spell my cow's name with the final "h") in my daily articles last year, and my brain hung onto them.

Who knows?

On Friday Rick had occasion to drive that way, so naturally I asked him if he saw Ghostface Killa in his travels. After he stopped laughing, he said, "No, Nance, but I was driving. If I'm the driver, I can't always look for cows. That's sad, but that's the way it is."

Ah, so true! Being the driver makes us miss a lot of perfectly wonderful cows along the way. Don't you think so, too?


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20 comments:

  1. If I am the passenger I am often knitting and looking down at my project, maybe I see more when I am driving. 1) I love cows. 2) I love sheep. 3) I hate driving, I do too much of it for work. 4) There are cows sort of near me but no sheep, very sad.

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    1. Meredith--I'm afraid to knit in the car. Looking down too much might give me a Headache. And I'll do anything to prevent that!

      I'm happy to add your name to the list of Cow Appreciators. Their calm demeanour is something we can aspire to.

      If I had to drive for my job, I'd dislike it, too. One of the things I loved about my job was that it was so close to home. It made for one less thing to worry about, especially in bad weather. I hope you can find some things to treat yourself to in order to make your commute(s) less tedious.

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  2. I love that you are in love with this cow. Pastoral scenes always calm me too!

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    1. kathy b--Since early childhood, I have had a deep fondness for cows.

      I agree that pastoral scenes can be calming. That's one of the things I like about cows. When they walk, they nod their heads. It's as if they're saying, "Yes, everything is all right" all the time.

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  3. I have a thing for cows, too. I even have them in my kitchen in the form of antique pastoral scenes hanging on the walls. I love your white-faced cow. Cows are very curious. It you park along side the road and get out of the car the herd usually will head over to stare at you and you can get all the photos you want.

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    1. Jean--My kitchen is cowful as well--black and white Holsteins and red accents. So glad you are a fellow Cow Appreciator!

      I wish I could park alongside and mingle with this beef herd, but the road drops into a steep culvert making that pretty much an impossibility. I will have to admire from afar.

      Years ago, however, I did ask Rick to pull over at a farm in Gettysburg on our way to a family reunion. It was a particularly lovely century farm, and the herd was well-kept Holsteins. They wandered over and I took my entire roll of film. The best shots hang in my kitchen. We refer to them as The Family Reunion Pictures.

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  4. I would not want to run off the road to get a look at Ghostface Killa, so I appreciate the photo, lol! I think cows are lovely, and have no problem with them at all except for the flatulence issue that many experts say is a serious concern for Things That Affect Climate Change. I used to laugh at that, but now I am beginning to think that it really is no joke. So maybe we should just have fewer cows and only use the milk for making ICE CREAM! After all, no other mammals drink milk after being weaned except human beings, and calcium is readily available in a lot of other food products. Anyway... this is way off topic. (Or as Nance might say: "But I digress...") Hooray for Ghostface and long may she live!

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    1. Ortizzle--I searched for "black angus cow with white face" because I do not have a telephoto lens for my phone (the only camera I use) and because I had forgotten the breed name (Black Baldy). Honestly, the header photo is exactly what Ghostface Killa looks like, and that looks exactly like his pasture. (I think Ghostface Killa is a steer; he'd be butchered by now if he weren't, perhaps. But who knows? I'm getting awfully invested in the mythos of a cow I really don't know at all.)

      Anyway.

      I fully appreciate the possible impact of cows on climate. I don't drink milk, and my beef consumption is, shall we say, rare (LOL). But could I give up my butter? My half and half in my morning coffee? And, to a lesser degree, ice cream, cheese, and yoghurt? Only if I had to.

      I am driving a Prius. Please tell me that makes it all okay.

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  5. You and Dr. M are such kindred souls. He used to do all the driving (because I am a maniac apparently?), but due to his sciatica he's usually the passenger these days. He thinks I drive too fast & I think he should quit making me try to look at things while I'm driving. Our trips are so pleasant!

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    1. Bug--Oh, I do appreciate fast driving when I have someplace to go. Poky drivers irritate the hell out of me. When we Take A Drive, however, we are not in a hurry and are out there in order to Look At Things. All manner of things. Rick is even getting very good at spotting poorly spelled and worded signage.

      Give the Professor a hug for me, and take him out for a nice drive. Sciatica is a bitch.

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  6. That's one gorgeous cow!! I do enjoy seeing them...also horses and sheep!

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    1. Vera--I will count you in among the Cow Appreciators, and gladly. While I do look at sheep and horses, I have no affinity for them. The little black sheep are charming, but larger sheep don't do a thing for me.
      I like to see horses on the move. Their gait is remarkable--how do they manage not to get all tripped up?

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  7. Dee--Rick at least has an uncanny way of spotting deer. I swear, he can see deer a mile away in a field at the edges at dusk, and I'm always whining, "But WHERE? I don't SEE ANYTHING!"

    Oh, the Brown Swiss cows are so sweet. They look like Bambi. Don't you just want to run up and hug them and lead them home? They all look like they should have 50s housewife names. So placid and domestic.

    It feels so early for lambing season! But then again, March weather here in NEO is so terrible and up and down. Yesterday it was 59. Today, we have high winds and 30. But our trees are budding out. Sigh. I hope the lambs and trees are In The Know.

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  8. Cattle, horses, even sheep in the pastures and fields can be calming sights. My Uncle In NE Ohio had a dairy herd of Holsteins, sold the milk. Recall being in the barn at milking time. When he removed the milking machines he stripped the cows and would squirt milk into the mouth of each barn cat patiently perched some distance away awaiting this treat. Years later we had two milk cows in Central Ohio for a couple years — beautiful golden brown tone and white Guernseys that were truly pets — so lovable.


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    1. Joared--Holsteins are the real backbone of the dairy industry, at least here in OH. And they're probably the cow that most people think of when they hear the generic term "cow."

      Lots of small-herd farmers name their cows and remark about their individual personalities. Your Guernseys being pets and lovable falls right in line with what I hear from lots of people who have had a small number of cows.

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    2. The Holsteins were known for the volume of milk they produced and probably have been genetically bred to continue so. Pop said our Guernseys produced less but a richer milk. We had a separator and sold the cream though the Jersey breed's milk was even richer, he said. After having real whipped cream I've been spoiled forever from wanting those commercial products and can substitutes.

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  9. I'm not so much in love with cows. That said...there is a herd of Belted Galloways I see on an "old" road I drive and I get a thrill every time I see them. They are also called "oreo" cows because they are black in front and back but have a wide swath of white in the middle.

    I do love to drive but I don't care much about being a passenger. I have a high-performance car that simply loves the curves and hills in the mountains. I wander on country roads, get lost, and keep going until I know where I am. I have discovered all sorts of things about our county that way.

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    1. NCmountainwoman--Oh, I love the Belted Galloways! There is a wee herd of them about 15 miles south of Ghostface Killa's place, but they are not often out whenever I go by. They are another charming and unusual breed. I often think of how incredibly wonderful it would be to see a herd of miniature BGs someday. Too cute!

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  10. GK is indeed a lovely cow. We saw the Belted Galloways when we were on our honeymoon in Holland all those years ago, and I took pictures, I liked them so much. I don’t see them around here. One downside to living in the Bay Area is that generally, driving is not fun or relaxing. It used to be. Then again, I have a friend who regularly goes for drives up to the wine country, sometimes stops for lunch, and comes home. She doesn’t even like wine, just the pretty drive. Perhaps I could learn something from the two of you. Last weekend I drove to Stockton to see my Great Aunt, and the drive was SO PRETTY. We’ve had lovely rain this winter, and everything is green and beautiful, and there were big clouds throwing all sorts of wonderful shadows over the farmers’ fields, and whatever they were growing was just coming up, and the orchards were blooming, and it was a wonderful drive. And when I got there, my great Aunt and I went out and had BLTs and raspberry milkshakes. Overall I would call that a GOOD day.

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    1. J@jj--Allow me to do a little Rejoicing with you about your rain. California was so overdue for relief from its longlived drought, even just a little bit, and I found myself watching anxiously for rain. Of course, then the worry was for flooding and its collateral damage after such a terrible fire season, but...one tragedy at a time, I guess.

      Your friend is taking great advantage of some lovely scenery and terrific restaurants/food. If one does not mind driving and the drive is not taxing, it's an almost free pursuit of stress relief. In your case with the Stockton drive, the raspberry milkshake alone sounds like a lovely reward if the drive was without cows (or whatever roadside sight you like best).

      Sometimes, merely the feeling of Getting Out And Away is enough.

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