Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
from All of Us here at
the Dept. of Nance
Friday, December 23, 2016
Tuesday, December 06, 2016
I Have To Stop Driving...Or Seeing...Or Reading...Or Something (Why Is This So Hard?)
In addition to the Saddening And Terrible bar sign announcing "$1.00 Taco's Every Tuesday!", which I must drive by at least weekly, I must also see this Disappointing, Mystifying, and Horrid thing at least that often (though on a different route):
Goodness. Where to begin?
Apart from being dismayed by the Zombie Pioneer/Amish Woman cheerfully decaying along the street side of the sign itself, (and how nice that the lights are discreetly pointed away from her), I'm frankly astonished that the store's wares are all conventionally spelled and punctuated on the placards. There are Crafts, not Krafts, perhaps in fear of a visit from the mega-corporation, summons in hand for a patent infringement.
Travelling westward, as I usually am when I see this sign, I get a slightly different view than what you see here. On that side, I see 'YE OLDE' VILLAGE KOUNTRY STORE with both single quotation marks. They are still superfluous and bewildering, but at least they are a pointlessly matched set. Travelling eastward, as this photo is taken, the second quotation mark is, for some reason, omitted. Now the lone mark is rendered an apostrophe, as if 'YE is actually a longer word somehow shortened...or something. Either way, I don't get it/them. I mean, we all can see that the building is not Olde, the village it's in is not Olde, and none of its customers will be speaking Olde Englishe. (And I wonder if the owner even knows what Ye means/meant in Olde Englishe anywaye.)
Finally, the most Egregious Sin Of All--KOUNTRY. Why? Why? WHY?! Wasn't Ye Olde enough already? On top of Village? Do you mean to tell me that Old Village Country Store doesn't have enough cache or authenticity or convey enough homey charm? It just isn't necessary. And it looks dumb. I'm certainly not buying a mattress from anyone who can't spell Country. Or use quotation marks correctly.
Ye Ende.
Goodness. Where to begin?
Apart from being dismayed by the Zombie Pioneer/Amish Woman cheerfully decaying along the street side of the sign itself, (and how nice that the lights are discreetly pointed away from her), I'm frankly astonished that the store's wares are all conventionally spelled and punctuated on the placards. There are Crafts, not Krafts, perhaps in fear of a visit from the mega-corporation, summons in hand for a patent infringement.
Travelling westward, as I usually am when I see this sign, I get a slightly different view than what you see here. On that side, I see 'YE OLDE' VILLAGE KOUNTRY STORE with both single quotation marks. They are still superfluous and bewildering, but at least they are a pointlessly matched set. Travelling eastward, as this photo is taken, the second quotation mark is, for some reason, omitted. Now the lone mark is rendered an apostrophe, as if 'YE is actually a longer word somehow shortened...or something. Either way, I don't get it/them. I mean, we all can see that the building is not Olde, the village it's in is not Olde, and none of its customers will be speaking Olde Englishe. (And I wonder if the owner even knows what Ye means/meant in Olde Englishe anywaye.)
Finally, the most Egregious Sin Of All--KOUNTRY. Why? Why? WHY?! Wasn't Ye Olde enough already? On top of Village? Do you mean to tell me that Old Village Country Store doesn't have enough cache or authenticity or convey enough homey charm? It just isn't necessary. And it looks dumb. I'm certainly not buying a mattress from anyone who can't spell Country. Or use quotation marks correctly.
Ye Ende.
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