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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Grumpy: Maybe This Is The First Of A Series

A few things are making me Grumpy lately. My hope is that venting them here will settle me down. Then, if any of you seem a little Grumpy lately, too, you can offload your Crabbies in Comments, and we'll all Feel Better.

1. The Phrase "No Worries". This is a small thing, I know, but it annoys the hell out of me. What does it even mean? Is it really too uncool or Old Timey to say the more comforting, "Don't worry", which actually means something because it has a subject and verb? To make a statement like "No Worries" is idiotic, really. It's imprecise. It's...more like a title. "Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome Verna Wetnoodle, author of No Worries." It is also patently untrue. Of course there are Worries! We live in a world of nuclear weapons, ISIS, insufficient gun regulation, and Donald Trump as a presidential candidate. If none of those things is a worry, then someone is overmedicated. Here is what a Proper Exchange should sound like:

Guest: Oh no! I meant to bring the white wine, and instead I brought merlot.
Host: Please don't worry. We're having chocolate for dessert. It will be perfect.

Instead, here is what some Hipster Doofuses (Hipsters Doofi?) would have us hear:

Moocher: Oh, man. We're out of beer, yo.
Guy: No worries, brah. T-Spot will hook us up.

If you're wondering who to blame for this inanity, here's an interesting article about its source.

2. Fear Of Commenting. In the decade that I've had this blog, so many people have told me that either they or others do not comment on the site because They Are Afraid To. This makes me both Sad and Grumpy because it's so silly. I am welcoming, kind, and pleasant to all of my commenters because I am so thrilled to have them! It is only when a commenter is rude that I might be rude or snide in kind. I know that the reason so many commenters are apprehensive about commenting is due to my own...persnicketiness regarding The Language. But I set all of that aside when it comes to the dialog in the Comments section. Comments are quick, personal, and informal, like notes you post on the fridge to your family. So relax! Let's chat. And my Regular Commenters are so nice!

3. People Who Talk Down To The Elderly. My mother, St. Patsy, is pretty damn sharp yet at 85, and it frosts my cupcakes when people half my age call her Sweetie or Hon. I'm talking complete strangers, like the clerk at the drugstore and the nurse at the Cleveland Clinic. Now, I know the temptation is very real:  my mother is short, cuddly-looking, and should pretty much be in the Picture Dictionary next to the word GRANDMOTHER. But how about "Ma'am" or, if you are her nurse, "Mrs. LastName"? It may seem innocent and even sweet, but that is how elderly people begin to lose their identities in society. My mother is still a Very Real Person, and she deserves to be called by her name or by a title of respect. It is a very insidious thing. Think of how you would feel if you were addressed by "Hon" or "Sweetie" in public by a stranger.

Okay! Not sure all this grumping inspired New Commenters, but I do feel better. Now it's your turn. What's been bothering you lately?

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26 comments:

  1. Of late my grumps have included, but are not limited to, the following:

    1) TV commercials for prescription meds that I don't need to know about and have a laundry list of deathly side effects - just shut up will 'ya?

    2) an emoji being chosen by the Oxford Dictionary as the "word" of the year - IT'S NOT A WORD!

    3) anyone, anywhere paying any attention to Charlie Sheen, a known liar and useless actor - make him go away now, please.

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    1. Ally Bean--All good Grumps, and I share them!
      1. Isn't this annoying! I wrote a post about this, which meant I researched it. Sadly, this advertising works, which is why the drug companies do it. Even the most obscure illnesses have the drug companies hawking their wares on tv. I don't think I ever "asked my doctor about X" because I saw it on a commercial.
      2. How did I not know of this? I immediately looked it up and it was in our morning paper. Ugh. And I don't think I've ever used that particular emoji.
      3. This! This! Why is this News?

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  2. Of course I'm grumpy; I'm still teaching English to high schoolers! And I'm sorry, Charlie Sheen had sex with enough women to populate a city, and now he's surprised he's HIV-positive? Karma can be a bitch.

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    1. Rose--Sometimes teaching highschool English can be Joyful, but yes, it can make you Grumpy often. I won't offer any advice, either. Only you are In It.

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    2. And today was pretty joyful,,although there was a struggle or two. Report card day made it difficult for some, but my juniors brightened my day right up. They loved the two Longfellow poems we read, which was such a pleasant surprise o me!

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  3. Just thought of another one: Facebook posts that "dare you to post this". It's usually something about Amurica or Jesus and I'm oppositional/defiant whenever I'm "dared"!

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    1. Rose--Not on FB, as you know, but I know I'd react the same way. Next time, if it's about Jesus, post this.

      Delete
  4. Lately, FaceBook and its ideology wars is making me grumpy. Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that, living overseas, it's a really effective way to keep up with the activities of people I care about, I'd probably just chuck it. Endless rain and grey skies in England are making me grumpy, too. As far as the 'no worries' thing goes - it's everywhere here, too, as is 'cheers.'

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    1. MsCaroline--I'm sorry about FB making you grumpy. You take the Good with the Bad, I suppose. And grey clouds and rain can really wear on you, I know. We had a whole month of that in June here in Ohio, and I thought I'd lose it.

      "Cheers" has made its merrye olde waye here to the Continent, I'm afraid, and it's about to hit My List as well. Veddy veddy annoying. Also a bit of A Hipster Thing. Also insidious. The new "How Are You"--that toss-off kind of remark that has begun to mean absolutely nothing.

      Speaking of rain, does anyone in England refer to the umbrella as a bumbershoot? I certainly hope so. Terribly charming.

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  5. I was called hon just the other day at a fast food drive through - but I think that all wait staff & food service workers get a pass on that. It's probably in their employee handbook: 23. Call all customers "Hon."

    I've actually been wondering if I'm a victim of ageism (at the ripe old age of 51) because lately I feel like I'm receiving less than stellar service from Medical Professionals. It's probably because I'm boring - I should NOT complain about being medically boring!

    I'm working on about Day 12 of having some sort of cold type thing - with accompanying low grade fever. I really don't want to see a doctor about it, but what if I need an antibiotic? On the other hand, I feel like antibiotics are running rampant these days and perhaps I should just Suck it Up Buttercup. <== And that right there is the source of most of my grumpiness - I need to find someone else to think about!

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    1. The Bug--I'm trying to think of the last time a server called me Hon. I don't think ever. To be fair, I don't eat fast food, as a rule. And my memory is awful anymore. HOW OLD AM I?

      My mother was receiving Less Than Stellar service from her "doctor" until I intervened, but some of it was her fault because she feels that complaining is Bad Manners, even to one's doctors. Even though her original "doctor" was a complete idiot and hack, I did feel a bit sorry for him as he sat there (and believe me, he SAT THERE AND NEVER ONCE MOVED), trying to figure out why she was there since she never seemed to have a problem.

      I'm so sorry that you are ill; did you get a flu shot? If not, perhaps you have a touch of flu, and you really should have gotten one. They are free under the ACA. If you did get your free flu shot, YAY!, and then it sounds like a very impolite virus, in which case an antibiotic will not help you. On the other hand, if you are prone to sinus infections, like I am (I get two a year), an antibiotic is often necessary.

      During the late fall and throughout winter and spring, these are helpful if it does turn out to be a Sinus Thing.

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  6. Going backwards ... medical people especially used to talk over my mother's head to me. She was sharp enough to answer for herself, even when ill, and it bothered both of us. As for the 'Hon' thing, I do my best grade nine noise reducing glare and say nothing. as in, no response. Pretty soon the medical people are going to start talking over my head, but it is worth it.
    My mother and aunt used to correct my letters to them with red ink and send them back to me. After that, a grammatical error in a comment is small beer.
    Slang phrases - my darling YD uses the 'no worries' one. She is usually taking on a task for me when she says it, and so I put up with it.
    My greatest peeve at the moment is against those who are refusing to consider taking in Syrian refugees because of security concerns. More like boiling rage than peeved, though.

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    1. Mary G--I am my mother's Medical Secretary, as she terms it. I accompany her to all of her appointments, but I am very careful not to make eye contact with her doctors, nurse practitioners, etc., forcing them to talk only to her unless I need to add anything or clarify anything. I mainly drive her, keep directions straight, or ask questions as necessary. That right there helps immensely.

      I almost never Play Teacher in social settings unless directly asked. That doesn't stop anyone, when I am introduced and my (former) career comes up, from saying, "Oh no! I'd better watch how I talk!" Sigh. As if.

      Oh my, yes. One can overlook a mountain of irksomeness if there is such joy on the other side! In truth, I run into "No Worries" so infrequently that it is a small source of my Grumpiness.

      As far as the Syrian refugees, it is a prickly conundrum. Fear and grief are two powerful feelings, neither of which lend themselves to rational thought or action. Of course, this is why we must have wise and careful leaders in these situations. As with anything, this crisis is also being politicized (and heavily) in the US, with our Ohio governor, who is a Presidential candidate, saying he is closing the state's borders to the refugees unless each one can be thoroughly screened first.

      It's a given that no one wants a terrorist in his or her state. But what about all of these displaced people who are desperate? And innocent? Who are the terrorists now?

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    2. Canada seems to be bringing in mothers with kids and no father first. Frantic money raising going on all over the country to provide for these in comers. Gov't says it can do adequate screening. I really don't care as long as we get the littles out of their freezing tents.

      Delete
  7. As a Native Californian, I must admit to the usage of "no worries" beginning more than ten years ago. I think we use a lot of slang down here, but I can't say that for sure since every city has its own special language.

    I am still grumpy about drivers. They just cannot figure it out. I am doing much more driving than I used to now that both kids are in school and I drive during the morning commute. I think it annoys me so much because many of them are on their phones, or they know that I want them to just get out of the way already, and they purposely stay in front of me. I have also noticed that one of the main culprits of slow driving are work trucks. Not semis, but big Ford F150's or whatever, and they are gardeners or contractors and they are SO SLOOOOWWW. Fine, be your slow self, but get to the slow lane to do that, not the fast lane!

    I am also grumpy because I am looking for new kitchen chair pads since we washed ours and they got bent all out of shape and we had to throw them away. I forgot/never really knew how freaking expensive decent looking chair pads are. Anything that has any design to it at all is a minimum of $25.00 per pad. Usually much more than that. Ridiculous!

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    1. Gina--Sometimes, for items such as your chair pads, I force myself to be very patient and keep looking online. Pretty soon, I'll find it on sale, very cheaply, or on Amazon. I know what you mean, however, about good home goods being expensive. It's terrible.

      I also drive quite a bit since retirement, and thank you for validating my earlier post about PICKUP TRUCKS BEING SLOWPOKES. I think I can also shed some light as to why these contractor trucks are so slow, thanks to my husband being a project manager. Many times, these contractors are given a list of tasks to do for the day. If they complete all of them, then they call in to the office and get more tasks, which often, they don't want to do. Additionally, they are hourly workers, so getting to the job quickly really isn't a priority.

      With regard to "No Worries," how often do you add "Dude" on the end of it? Because then, I probably would not be able to talk to you. Hee hee.

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  8. Nance: I don't mind "No worries" as much as I dislike "No Problem" when you say thank you to someone. Instead of "You're Welcome" they mutter "No Problem". I take that to mean "You really are a problem, but I'm going to let you slide this time."

    Don't get too upset about someone calling your Mom "Hon". Some people call everyone "Hon". I'm one of them. This morning the good looking Black guy in McDonalds asked me if I wanted cream in my coffee and I said " I sure do, Hon." Now that is just the opposite of what you told us about your Mom. See, I'm the old lady and the good looking guy in Mickey Dee's was about 30.

    I love those Big Pharma commercials. You couldn't write comedy like that. "Hey, Doc, I have this crooked toenail. Can you help me? "Why certainly, take this Xnaila.(Ever notice, they all start with X?) The side effects include aching and swollen testicles, paralysis of the eyeballs which may result in blindness, bleeding gums and loosening of the teeth. Bowel disturbances may occur, including black,tarry and loose stools and the inability to control it" " Yeah, Doc that's the one I want. Write it up...".

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    1. Nancy--Oh, how true! I get Really Grumpy about that one as well. I do think that "No Problem" was a natural evolution from "It was no trouble at all", however, but got sidetracked from when people used to say:
      Person: Thank you. I didn't mean to put you to any trouble.
      Person2: Oh, it was no trouble at all.

      As far as The Reverse Hon, I think it's a little different if the Old Lady calls a young person Hon. Now, if you had LEERED at the guy, then we have a problem.

      The drug commercials I really wonder about lately are for toenail fungus. First they roped John McEnroe into doing one, now Mario Lopez. The star of the commercial is a big foot named Jublia (the drug) CLEARLY INFECTED WITH TOENAIL FUNGUS. I don't get it. And the one with Lopez takes place on a red carpet event. Lopez says, as a woman steps out with silver pumps, "The next star on the red carpet is...toenail fungus!?!?!?" But how does he know it if she is wearing closed-toe shoes? I know, I know...I'm thinking about it all too much.

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  9. One thing has made me grumpy for quite a while. Why on earth do so many of the media think it's just fine to call our President, "MR. Obama"? Every other President in my memory has been called by his title and even now it's always "Former President (insert appropriate name). Even my semi-trusted news media NPR and Newshour on PBS use the title "Mr." more often than "President."

    A more recent 'makes me grumpy' is to hear the refugees fleeing for their lives called "migrants" as if they are leaving to find better jobs.

    Like others, the Oxford selection of an emoji rather than a word made me very grumpy. I wasn't all that happy with "vape" as last year's word, but at least it is a word.

    I'm not even going to honor, "I could care less." Oh dear, I think I just did.

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    1. NCmountainwoman--OH, OH! This has been irritating me for AGES! Like you, I wondered why this has suddenly been the case. In my view, if one has attained the highest office in the land, one should be addressed by one's title. Even former senators and cabinet members and SCOTUS judges are addressed by their titles. ALWAYS. Ooooh. Good Grump!

      I've not caught the word "migrant" used in reference to the Syrian refugees, but I may have simply missed it.

      Is the yearly Oxford selection for its online dictionary and not the "real" OED? That would make me feel immeasurably better, and I know I researched that once before. There is a distinction that I've now forgotten. That's the problem with The Interwebs being so convenient of a source--I am not compelled to remember much, knowing that I can easily look again for my answers. So...I don't.

      That last one--Sigh.

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  10. Sorry, Nance, but I think we do have a problem because I did LEER at the guy. Right from the start I told you he was good looking...I really don't take cream in my coffee;I just wanted to call him Hon.

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    1. Nancy--Then what you did was FLIRTING, which is a perfectly acceptable reason for calling someone Hon or Sweetie. If someone wants to flirt with my mother, then that's wonderful. This was NOT That. If her nurse flirted with her, we have another--more concerning--situation entirely.

      I say Go For It with Coffee Cream Guy. ;-> But remember that I applied for the job of Travelling Companion first.

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  11. I'm grumpy about fleas. And barking. But not very grumpy, as there are not too many fleas and the barking is getting less...

    See, those are clues...we got a dog last weekend! Yay! Come by my blog and see him (tomorrow, which is Monday...haven't posted yet.)

    Regarding 'no worries', I have an issue. It's a stupid issue, and I'm working on it. My issue is that it is difficult for me to say "You're welcome". It makes no sense, but for some reason saying "you're welcome" feels self satisfied and braggy to me. Like if someone thanks me, and I say, 'You're Welcome", I'm acknowledging that what I did was actually worth thanks, and aren't I grand? So I find myself saying, "Sure" or "No Problem" (which I hate) or "No Worries" (Which I dislike but not as much as No Problem). So I'm working on it. I've been making a conscious effort when delivering Meals on Wheels to say, "You're Welcome" when I am thanked. At least MoW gives me the opportunity to practice several times every Thursday.

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    1. J@jj--Just got back from your place to see your new Family Member. He is so handsome. I had no idea you were even considering getting a dog. I don't recall you ever mentioning it on your blog, anyway. I wish I could brush that silvery fur.

      I truly am sorry that you have trouble with "You're welcome," but I fully understand it. Apparently, I have a similar issue accepting compliments from my husband, something he pointed out to me not too long ago. I do not accept them gracefully with a Thank You. I immediately say something to negate the compliment. For example, if he says, "Your hair looks great that way," I usually say something like, "Ugh, I hate this big hunk that keeps hanging down over here." As a result, he said, he stopped giving me compliments for a while.

      I don't know why I was that way when all I had to do was to say Thank You. I felt really terrible when he told me about it. Now I make a conscious effort to say Thank You AND STOP THERE. It's uncomfortable for me, but I work on it.

      Maybe you can say, "It's my pleasure!" which, in the case of your Meals On Wheels, it really is. You do it because it does make you feel good to do something truly helpful for these people on your route. It is a genuine response, and it is synonymous with You're Welcome. And then, once in a while, add You're Welcome. Pretty soon, you'll get more comfortable with it.

      I often use "It's my pleasure" when it is something that I really did enjoy doing for someone. Which is, actually, pretty often.

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    2. Gah, why is it so hard to accept a compliment? I'm the same way. It's lame.

      I don't think I mentioned getting a dog on my blog...maybe because I wasn't sure it would happen. But more likely my brain has changed. It used to be that almost anything that crossed my mind wound up on the blog. Now? Not so much. And it shows, clearly. I used to post daily, or at least 5 days a week. Now I'm lucky if it's 2 days a month. Oh well.

      Mulder's fur is SO soft right now. We took him to the groomers for a bath today, and he's soo pretty and fluffy and soft.

      Delete

Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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