The Acceptable Woman Quiz--Scoring Key

Acceptable Woman Quiz--Scoring

I.  Fill-Ins:  Automatic Point Deductions are as follows: -2 for any usage of “like” or more than one “very” or “so.” Any use of the word “totally” as an adjective earns a zero for that item. Use of the word “majorly” constitutes automatic failure of entire quiz.

#1-#4. Any positive response to these items is an automatic loss of credit. Using the phrase “hook up” for #3 is a 1 pt. deduction as well. Any digression into plot synopses for #1, commentary about other people’s relationships for #1 or #3, or any reference into “being a romantic” or any other tedious chick-flick retellings is another automatic deduction. Complete loss of section points results from any attempt at singing any sort of song for #2, or trying to convince you to like it too. Another point off if she tries to convince you that a certain singer would prove to you how her/his kind of country music is somehow “different.”

#5. Loss of one point if the tattoo(s) is Asian in nature. Loss of one point if the tattoo commemorates her child. Loss of one point if the tattoo is a Disney, Loony Toons, or Anime character. Loss of one point if the tattoo is a “tramp stamp” and another point off if she shows it to you. Loss of 2 points here if the tattoo is mildly or completely offensive and she shows it to you, and another 2 if the story is that she got it when she was drunk, high, or both.


II.  Multiple Choice: If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Up to you how much stupid you can take here. Automatic point deductions suggested: Entire section voided if she giggles, asks “are you sure?”, or asks for proof from SmartPhone.
6. c 7. d 8. b

III.  Matching:   If any woman alive doesn’t know these answers, she belongs on a pole or married to Mitt Romney. The best you can hope for here is at least the excuse that she “never liked history.” And while it may be true that you don’t sleep with her brains, that’s the part you do everything else with. Think about it. (Better yet, think Jessica Simpson. There ya go.) Automatic Point Deductions:   Entire section voided if she says, “I have at least a 50/50 shot” or “Why did Roe fight Wade?” or “I thought that one was Prohibition”.
9.a 10. b.

Obviously, 10 is a perfect score, but no one is perfect.  There is plenty of leeway permitted in the fill-ins section, but the Automatic Point Deductions can be scathing.  Anyone who falls into the negative range should be dismissed immediately, and 3's and 4's should not be considered worthy.  Good heavens.  Think of your mother.
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