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Monday, August 10, 2015

In Which I Analyze The republican Debate

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are living in Strange Times, indeed. The republicans are in a panic because someone exactly like Rush Limbaugh in temperament, class, and ethos is running for President of the United States under their imprimatur, and Faux News is crying foul because of the sexist and crude way this candidate treated its own female media personality. (Does anyone remember Sandra Fluke?)

I'm too stunned to gloat.

Rather than get all calisthenic over a republican whom I refuse to take seriously, let's instead get down to something far more worthy of our discussion. Here is a picture of the candidates at the Big Boys' Debate, courtesy of US News.


Who dressed these people?

These men are all wealthy, have staffs, and, I assume, know women who probably looked at them before they settled on these suits. Why, then, is there not more than one among them who can wear a properly fitted and hemmed pair of pants? 

 It's inexcusable, really.

The only one who has a pair of nicely fitting pants of appropriate length is Senator Rubio (second from left). Governor Christie is wearing what we used to call "High Waters" back when I was in high school. Dr. Carson, third from left, looks like he has crotch problems, or as if he is standing astride an invisible bicycle or hobby horse. The rest all have that terrible, sloppy puddle of fabric around their ankles. My sons used to have that when they wore those enormous baggy jeans back in the nineties, and I absolutely hated it. Jared used to go so far as to slit the sides of his pantlegs at the ankles so that his jeans would fit down over his enormous and massively padded hightop basketball sneakers, which he left untied and flapping and which I also hated.

Another problem up there is the questionable footwear of the Robot Representing Senator Rand Paul (second from right). Perhaps he is into Steampunk and is actually sporting a pair of these.  This was not SalonCon, Senator.

Maybe, maybe I can almost tolerate the Armani Break of the pants of the candidate fourth from the left up there.  The Armani Break--also known as the Full Break--is still awfully messy-looking. I can't remember who That Guy even  is.  Oh yeah, Governor Walker, the guy who equates Teachers to ISIS fighters.

(I wish I could see their ties in this photo, but I'm sure they're very pedestrian and ho-hum.  Not an inspiration among them. Where is Greg Feith when you need him?)

We're in for a Very Entertaining Primary Season, everyone.  Like at least One Of The Candidates, why should I discuss The Issues when other topics (pants!) are so much more...pressing?

Try not to groan at me in Comments.

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25 comments:

  1. We also had a leaders' debate that night. We have one woman and three males. At lecterns, so the pants were not in evidence. Your debate was a lot more fun because all of the three serious contenders in ours were trying so hard not to make a Mistake that they were soporific. Only some of your lot were human sleeping pills. I liked jeb's tie, too.
    Do you realize how much more of this there is to go? I am already both bored stiff and scared stiff because there is not one real leader among the whole bunch.

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  2. That is a turkey baster, isn't it? Lovely.

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    1. Mary--Hee hee. No, it is a red pen with a red boxing glove on top. I was trying to be terribly clever.

      Yes, there is a huge amount of time left to go; for us, the General Election isn't until November 2016. Sigh. It's too early to even begin to speculate, let alone worry or be scared.

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    2. I think a turkey baster would be very apt.
      Our election is in October. I am already dithering about a list of terrible choices in our riding. We have one good solid candidate, but his party's platform is way out there in left field. Sigh.

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  3. I didn't watch the debate, so your sartorial commentary is much appreciated. As a person with rather large thighs, I find that I have to have baggy ankled pants if I don't want them to creep up to mid-calf when I sit down. Which makes Chris Christie's choice even more mystifying!

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    1. Bug--I did not watch the debate, either, but I tried to listen to it online. I was successful for about an hour or so, and then I honestly couldn't stand it anymore. I was inspired to write this post by a front page photo in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, where I saw the Pants Tragedy immediately. Their photo was wonderful, but I could not get a screen grab of it.

      All of these men have plenty of income; they can get their suits custom made and/or custom tailored and avoid the issue you just indicated. Mystifying, indeed.

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  4. Love your analysis more than any other I've seen, Nance! I also found their body language with their hand gestures, which way they're facing, etc., interesting. I must say that seeing them all gathered at once is even more depressing, isn't it? And that's before they open their mouths.

    Shirley

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    1. Shirley--Thank you! I'm not sure if this is merely a press photo opportunity or a lighting check or what, but yes, it's silly to see how they chose to stand. Is Ted Cruz doing a Hans and Franz (from SNL) impersonation? Certainly it was awkward to simply stand there in the company of your "adversaries" and do nothing, but a few of them appear less than Presidential. And yes, disheartening without having said a word, but wholly expected considering Who They Are.

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  5. Oh Nance! You should have watched it. There would be so much more fodder for your grinder! I honestly could not believe my ears. These men are so far out of touch with intelligent life that it made me dizzy listening to them. I also noticed there was no shortage of cheap Men's Warehouse suits. Regarding the photo, Trump is pretending he is The Savior with his hands and arms outstretched. Or perhaps he is just expressing his "I-know-nothing" innocent look. The photo above reminds me of that famous Last Supper painting. Lord help us all if Trump wins the nomination.

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    1. Karen--So nice to see you here again! I couldn't watch it; we got rid of cable television years ago. But I heard plenty, especially when Megyn Kelly advised viewers to stay tuned, because after the break, they were "going to let the candidates make their closing statements, their final thoughts, and God." At that point, I had heard enough. Enough confounding syntax, yes, but also enough Everything. It was...Astonishing. From beginning to end, breathtakingly astounding.

      How any woman, person of color, LGBT individual, or intelligent person could ever, ever, EVER consider a republican for any office completely befuddles me. Constantly.

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  6. Poorly hemmed pants suggest a lack of self-awareness, which seems to be the hallmark of this crop of presidential candidates. Or it's a bizarre cost-cutting measure to save their campaign funds for more important things. I think that looking for rational explanations about this group's behavior is a dead end. Not that it isn't fun to mock them before they trip over each other trying to be the most vile.

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    1. Ally Bean--Several of these candidates are being channelled a ton of Dark Money, so big bucks aren't the issue here. The poorly funded ones were in the undercard debate, which was televised much earlier.

      But yes, it is fun to do a little mocking at this stage of things. You know what they say, all you can do is laugh.

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  7. How did I miss this post? We couldn't watch either, also due to no cable, and it was the first time my husband and I would have willingly watched FOX "news". I did, however, follow Twitter which was less baffling than watching the actual debate would have been. I am truly mystified as to who the Republicans can nominate! They are all awful! And yet I am so very afraid that it will be harder for Hilary to be elected than it was for Obama, if I go by the people with whom I've come in contact (looking at you, Mom and Dad). The critical issue my 78 year old father is concerned with is abortion, although there is no way that issue could EVER have an impact on his life. Take care, my friend. We may need to head north to Canada before its all over and done with.

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    1. Rose--Oh, I don't know! Better go back and see what others you may have missed! ;-)

      Like you, I am mystified by anyone who makes abortion a central issue in deciding their vote. Abortion is a terrible, terrible choice. I wish no one ever, ever had to make it. Ever. I want to keep it rare forever. But safe and medically available in those rare, necessary instances of a woman's choice. Period. How that makes an impact on a man, I have zero idea. How that would skew a 78-year old grandfather, I don't know. I'd be more concerned about healthcare, national security, the environment, the economy, etc.

      I love my country, and I am constantly astonished at the rigid moralizing that goes on in it. And the fact that it is largely directed against women. By men. (Although other women--especially republican women--are quite eager to legislate against us as well.) Sometimes, I feel as if I am insane listening to republicans when they talk about Issues. Like screaming, effing crazy.

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    2. The right to have an abortion is absolutely enough to sway my vote, at least 70%. If someone I really liked in 70% of their policies or more was anti-abortion, I could not vote for them. COULD NOT. If someone I disliked in 70% of their policies were running against said person, but were fully full choice, I'm not sure what I would do. Perhaps hide under my bed. But I could never vote for someone who believes that an unborn child has more rights than a full grown adult. Thankfully I've never been in the position to decide, and I always said I would not have one. I don't believe in abortion FOR ME. But I think that's every woman's choice.

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    3. J@jj--As usual, you make me think harder. I was stubbornly asserting only one side of the question: that people made their decisions based upon candidates who were pro-choice, not the other way around. Sigh.

      Having said that, I doubt that there would be a candidate who I found agreeable on other issues but then simply anti-choice. It's not usually as cut-and-dried as that. Most RTL candidates have other glaring issue differences with me, such as gay rights, Affordable Care Act, entitlement programs, etc. If it truly came down to Choice, that would be a tough one. The POTUS can nominate a Supreme Court judge to influence Roe v Wade, which can affect Choice. Again, however, I am a Woman. That means more to me than it would to a 78-year old man. Probably, like you, it would be enough!

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    4. I too believe that abortion is a terrible choice/option, yet I want it to be a safeguarded choice, as the only thing making it illegal will do is revert it back to being a safe choice for the women with money and a dangerous choice for women who are poor. My point is that I think men should stay out of the conversation entirely. Especially old men.

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    5. I have a very good friend who is a Republican, and we don't talk politics if we can help it. She is extremely pro-choice, so I think of her when I think of these things. I think she votes against her pro-choice views, most of the time, which must kind of suck for her.

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  8. I think that for some of these candidates, the $199 suit look is to distance themselves from how wealthy they are and to look like "normal" people. I read somewhere that is why Ted Cruz always wears cowboy boots, so the "common man" can identify with him.

    The Tea Party contingent is an interesting one, and they have badly splintered the Republicans and we will see if it makes them too vulnerable on the national stage. My 94 year old grandmother, a lifelong Democrat, has turned Republican in her old age and says she will vote for Trump. Sigh.

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    1. Gina--Interesting comment re: cowboy boots. Rick Perry has ditched his this time around in order to appeal to a broader base and to appear less of a brash idiot. He also added hipster glasses for a more intellectual look so that we will all forget his big oops in the last contest of forgetting one of the three (?) cabinet posts he would eliminate. (It was then supplied by an opponent.)

      A cheap suit is fine; one can still alter the pants correctly. No need to look so unkempt.

      My favourite irony is when McCain is outraged by the teapartiers and fringe republicans. As if it were not he who opened the door and legitimized them when he invited them onto his ticket.

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  9. Regardless of who’s wearing the ill-fitting pants in the republican party, what’s clear is that D.T. is very adeptly manipulating the media. I think the liberal media are giving him a lot of (FREE!) air time thinking that people will soon come to their senses and recognize him for the self-serving, ego-maniacal clown that he is. Unfortunately, the opposite is happening. This plan is backfiring because Donnie is telling the multitudes what they want to hear and convincing them of his sincerity because “he can’t be bought.” Have you seen the viral vids made by these black women who are totally off the charts? = http://tinyurl.com/nbagtea

    Yesterday CNN televised Trump's latest "press conference." In which he stated that he now "cherishes women, loves the Mexican people (to thunderous applause of many, many misguided Mexicans)".... wow. His PR person is giving him some serious lessons in B.S.-ing the public. Sadly, there are scores of ignorant people out there who are eating it up.

    It still seems preposterous to me that Donnie could get the Republican nomination, but even if he doesn’t... he might change his mind about backing the person who does. He's got the RNC by the short and curlies. I think they're too petrified to even think about what they're wearing (although, let's face it: when have they ever won a fashion show?)

    Too bad Jon Stewart did not stick around for another year, cuz it would have been soooooo entertaining. I already miss that guy too much.

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    1. Ortizzle--Sigh. I watched about a minute and a half of one of those viddies and then I could not stand it anymore. So much hollering. I felt like I was back in the halls of The High School again. urk.

      The segment of The American People to whom The Donald is appealing are all the angry and frustrated people who are honestly and sincerely and naively hoping/sure that he will somehow Be Different. Just like all of the teapartiers thought they would be when THEY got to Washington. Look how radically they changed everything...oh, wait.

      The saddest thing is that so many people are giving this blowhard credence. It's like Sarah Palin all over again and just as sad.

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    2. You're so right about Sarah Palin. One big scary difference: Palin did not have billions to throw around. We can only hope that everyone who currently has the DTs right now will be sick of him eventually. Can't wait to see how the establishment repubs deal with this next year in the primaries.

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  10. We managed to get through about an hour of the debate, and then we all felt ill and had to switch over to Jeopardy. Ugh.

    I love your commentary, and I wonder if Gina is right, and that they purposely have crappy suits in order to seem less rich. It's horrifying indeed, but entirely possible.

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    1. J@jj--I'm sure the colour, at least, of the suits was an agreed-upon item. They all wore the same nondescript non-colour.

      I thought the questions were good, at least; no softballs were lobbed. As usual, some candidates ignored the questions entirely and simply said what they wanted to from their campaign talking points instead. Those of us in Ohio were especially entertained by Kasich's autobiographical monologue since we've heard it eleventy times already, almost verbatim.

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