Ladies and Gentlemen, we are living in Strange Times, indeed. The republicans are in a panic because someone exactly like Rush Limbaugh in temperament, class, and ethos is running for President of the United States under their imprimatur, and Faux News is crying foul because of the sexist and crude way this candidate treated its own female media personality. (Does anyone remember Sandra Fluke?)
I'm too stunned to gloat.
Rather than get all calisthenic over a republican whom I refuse to take seriously, let's instead get down to something far more worthy of our discussion. Here is a picture of the candidates at the Big Boys' Debate, courtesy of US News.
Who dressed these people?
These men are all wealthy, have staffs, and, I assume, know women who probably looked at them before they settled on these suits. Why, then, is there not more than one among them who can wear a properly fitted and hemmed pair of pants?
It's inexcusable, really.
The only one who has a pair of nicely fitting pants of appropriate length is Senator Rubio (second from left). Governor Christie is wearing what we used to call "High Waters" back when I was in high school. Dr. Carson, third from left, looks like he has crotch problems, or as if he is standing astride an invisible bicycle or hobby horse. The rest all have that terrible, sloppy puddle of fabric around their ankles. My sons used to have that when they wore those enormous baggy jeans back in the nineties, and I absolutely hated it. Jared used to go so far as to slit the sides of his pantlegs at the ankles so that his jeans would fit down over his enormous and massively padded hightop basketball sneakers, which he left untied and flapping and which I also hated.
Another problem up there is the questionable footwear of the Robot Representing Senator Rand Paul (second from right). Perhaps he is into Steampunk and is actually sporting a pair of these. This was not SalonCon, Senator.
Maybe, maybe I can almost tolerate the Armani Break of the pants of the candidate fourth from the left up there. The Armani Break--also known as the Full Break--is still awfully messy-looking. I can't remember who That Guy even is. Oh yeah, Governor Walker, the guy who equates Teachers to ISIS fighters.
(I wish I could see their ties in this photo, but I'm sure they're very pedestrian and ho-hum. Not an inspiration among them. Where is Greg Feith when you need him?)
We're in for a Very Entertaining Primary Season, everyone. Like at least One Of The Candidates, why should I discuss The Issues when other topics (pants!) are so much more...pressing?
Try not to groan at me in Comments.