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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Getting Over It

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a New Feature here at the Dept. of Nance, one we like to think of as a sort of Public Service/Therapy Session called Get Over It. I'm sure you'll figure out how it works as we go along, and we encourage you to offer up your own Subjects for Future Treatment, or you can provide your own rendition in Comments.

Let's get on, shall we?
"The Internet is so bougie."

1. Senator Lindsey "Old Lady Fussypants" Graham (R-South Carolina) proudly declared on Meet the Press to moderator Chuck Todd, "I don't email. You can have every email I've ever sent. I've never sent one." Oh, Senator, aren't you clever? And...sad? This past week, my mother, who will be 85 in June, picked up her new iPad. It is her very first foray into the world of technology. She learned how to use email, text messaging, the Internet, and some apps. She delighted in being able to FaceTime with her family members and add birthdays to the calendar. She can listen to Vic Damone on her personal Pandora station. You, however, revel in the fact that you eschew electronic communication as if you are a Puritan church elder who is denying the devil. Oh, Senator Lindsey Graham, Get Over It. Being a Luddite isn't virtuous, it's dumb. You might not send emails, but your staffers do, and those missives carry the imprimatur of your office. So do your Facebook page and your Twitter account. You even have a Web presence, here, and it includes a link to email you. You even have a YouTube page! So, again, Senator, Get Over It. You're sending emails and involved in the age of technology whether you "are" or not.

2. Can everyone check the date right now? We are rounding the bend and within striking distance of April. Yet, Some People are still displaying Christmas Decorations in their yards, on their homes, and in their windows. Hey, Holiday-Challenged Or Lazy Sods, Get Over It! Christmas is past, done, gone, and other holidays have come and gone as well. Even the snow is gone. There is simply no reason for any of this, all of which I photographed while I drove home from the grocery store and in a two-block radius from my home:
At left, a manger scene; Christmas lights are wound all around; they are illuminated most nights.

Confusingly, this Christmas wreath is in contrast to the bouquet of fake spring flowers at the door.

WTF is going on here?  Jolly snowperson out front; Uncle Sam next to the door with the US Flag Heart alongside.
You are hurting my feelings and annoying your neighbors. You are likely prolonging winter. You are devaluing the surrounding properties. This is, in a word, outrageous. What are you waiting for? If you hate this job so much, don't put this crap up in the first place. Winter in NEO is cold and long. Those decorations won't ever, ever take themselves down or put themselves away, and they end up looking pathetic and depressing. No one wants to see this in February, March, or at the rate you are going, April. Get Over It and yank this junk now.  My next-door neighbors just took down their plastic candy canes and inflatables on Sunday, March 22nd.  I thought I would die.

3. Hey, republicans--at least the eleven of you who are NOT running for president--Barack Obama is going to finish out his second term as the President Of These United States Of America. Get Over It. While I know that many of you still cannot do that, let me add that your continued attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act have passed Ludicrous and are on their way to Psychotic. Since you took over the majority in the House, you have put a vote on the floor almost sixty times in those four years, accomplishing precisely nothing. Yet, the first thing you use in any argument about Democrats being unable to effect legislation is the fact that "they had a supermajority" and yada yada yada. Looks like you're finding out what it's like to deal with a group of people who don't follow in lockstep with The Party all the time. Hate to say I Told You So, but when you courted the teapartiers, you invited disaster. Now, Get Over It. 
Lovin' those Grizzly Mamas and Evangelicals now, aren't you?

Probably some of my Dear Readers could smugly say, "Nance, you should take your own advice and Get Over It as far as these things go." To you I would say pleasantly, "I tried. For a Very Long Time, I have tried. Now my patience is at an end, and Something had to be said. I said it."

Now it is your turn. Who needs to Get Over It? Or would you like to have Your Turn and snark a little at the three I have admonished? Let fly.

pole vaulter image

15 comments:

  1. Oh I am going to enjoy this feature immensely! And it comes right as I've made a vow to stop complaining every time I open my mouth. If I feel like I'm going to explode I'll just come here & enjoy the snark :)

    Oh, and not to complain, but our neighbors across the street took down their Christmas decorations while the good Dr. and I were in NC - we were so relieved to return & see their bare yard! Because even though I've been known to leave our tree up until the time change, we do NOT leave the outside decorations out that long.

    Might I suggest dedicating the next "Get Over It" installment to Ted Cruz?

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    1. The Bug--Ted Cruz might get his own post all to himself. What a goofball.

      I, too, have cut down on my Verbal Complaining, but I honestly don't feel that bitching about Christmas decorations in late March is unreasonable. They are no longer festive or seasonal; they are just sad and bedraggled and awful, and they represent laziness and neglect. I wish heartily that there were an ordinance against this sort of thing. There is one against campaign signs in our town when they are still up two weeks past the election. I'm all for a similar limit--weather permitting--for holiday decorations.

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  2. Wow. I have a few friends who eschew FaceBook, but e-mail? That's like refusing to use the telephone. As far as Republicans go - I no longer understand anything that's going on. I have a number of Republican friends and relatives with whom I have always had very cordial relations, but things are rapidly going downhill. Reading FaceBook posts from people who post daily devotionals about living for Jesus who then turn around and post 'hilarious' jokes about IEDs disguised as prayer mats that will blow up Muslims has made me sad and jaded. The longer I live overseas, the more frightened I am to move back.

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    1. MsCaroline--I know a lot of people (mostly elderly) who eschew computers, but they are not public servants. ( I even know a few people who refuse to have a cellphone, which to me is even more unbelievable. ) Anyone who is employed as a public servant should be required to use email in order to effectively communicate with not only other departments but his/her constituency. He is absolutely an elitist who simply delegates everything to His Staff, I'm sure.

      Please do NOT gauge the tenor of American Civility based solely upon Facebook posts. What a horrific thought. That is like judging the whole of American cuisine based upon Olive Garden and McDonald's.

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  3. 1) Lindsey Graham is an idiot who is probably too dim-witted to understand how email works, so he avoids it.

    2) About the Jolly Snowperson/Uncle Sam house: I'm not surprised. This house's beautiful wooden front door has the absolute wrong style storm door obscuring it, so mixed messages must come easy to these folks.

    3) I'm surrounded by Republicans down here in this part of OH and to a one they think that being obstructionistic is doing something. That it's a sign of good character to not change. So while I agree with you that they've accomplished "precisely nothing" I do believe that they think otherwise. It's whack-o, but that's the line of reasoning.

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    1. Ally Bean--You know, there are times when Lindsey Graham can be a complete Clutch My Pearls Moron, and other times he can be surprisingly Okay. Then he drops a statement like this one and I want to slap him.

      Lots of the old colonials in our neighborhood have gorgeous, original solid wood doors. It's so hard to find a full-view storm door that shows them off to their advantage, yet provide some protection and security. I'm inclined to give them a little bit of a pass, only because I know the struggle.

      Oh, I hear you, I hear you. NEO is predominantly Democrat, but we have our fundamentalist Christian pockets here that espouse the teaparty or republican talking points whether they vote or not. Your point is spot ON regarding their obstructionist ideology being their guidepost, hence their nickname The Party Of No. I'm just glad that the core of the gop is finding out what a monster they've created.

      Delete
  4. Random complaining, I love that concept. Try as I may, I still complain much more than I would care to admit. Thank you Nance for hitting on most of the, upper priority, topics that have been bothering me lately. However, I do have one little, tiny, annoyance that has been giving me the desire to be an intolerable human being.

    This is the cause of my angst...Recently, I booked a round-trip flight to my Grandson's wedding. I spent more than a month finding a ticket price within my budget. Now that my ticket is purchased and my itinerary, for both legs of my flight, is intact; my inbox is being bombarded daily, with these amazing deals for the same trip....Where were these amazing deals while I was searching for the ticket the first time? I am trying very hard to get over it, but so far, no cigar. Surely, I can not be the only one who has made a purchase thinking they got the best deal in the world only to have their inbox tell them, 'NO'.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

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  5. Denise Fortney--I hate this whole scenario; truly I do. This is why I don't go in for the whole Third Party Discount Travel Deal baloney. I'm just not going to do that. I have already faced the fact that there will be at least 30% of my fellow travellers who paid way less than I did for whatever it is that I am doing: flying, overnighting, eating, sightseeing, whatevering. They will have spent eleventy hundred hours online or in line or badgering someone for discounts. I'm simply not going to do that. I'm going to go to my two airline sites, see who will get me there--nonstop--at the most reasonable price at the most convenient times, and I am booking it. Period. I refuse to make Leisure Travel a Job or Chore. But that is me.

    I completely understand your consternation and you have my sympathy. It is beyond irritating that the moment you purchase something--and this happens on Amazon.com constantly--you immediately are blitzkrieged with similar things at great prices. I suggest that you don't even look at them. Delete them instantly with a loud and hearty EFF YOU and go on your merry way, happy that your grandson has found joy in a suitable partner.

    Remember my mantra: Wallow a little and bitch a lot. It could also be the other way around, but either way, try not to dwell on it too long. And you can always, always come here to blow off steam.

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  6. Please include Lindsey Graham every week. I love to hear that Southern Belle ramble on, I do declare!

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    1. Annie H--You may get very tired of him if he makes good on his threat to run for President. He'll be clutching his pearls all over the place and you'll not be so entertained as you are right now. I do find him absolutely hilarious most of the time, however.

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  7. I was in an agony of embarrassment over how long my ornamental light pole retained its bright red and gold ribbon wrapping. Ice, snow, and physical impairments prevented the de-Christmasing here at chez prof for a lot longer than we liked. And it was just that one ribbon and bow, since I keep the outside decorating to a minimum. Usually, it's all gone by twelfth night (Jan. 6). I'm inclined to skip Christmas entirely this year. Maybe take a cruise, or spend a week in Puerto Rico.

    I not only dislike Ted Cruz's rhetoric and policies, I don't like his face! I know, I know, that's petty and superficial, but I can't imagine the aesthetic discomfort of having to contemplate that nose, those eyebrows, and those thin, cruel looking lips for four years. Besides, even John McCain (who inflicted us with the demagogue from Wasilla) called Cruz a wacko.

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    1. fauxprof--I can understand how Circumstances may prevent people from taking down Christmas decorations in a Timely Manner. Weather, illness, having to be away for a period of time--all of these things can delay this task. But certainly by the end of March things should have moved along. And it defies the odds that all of these houses in such a small area can be the victims of Circumstances. I suppose it could be the case, but I doubt it.

      Rick and I wistfully talked about the day when our downsizing of the Christmas tree left us with no Christmas tree at all. I immediately felt terrible and ashamed. Are we just Old And Grumpy? Christmas is Cluttery and Worky, primarily, to me still. I feel like such a shit when I say it.

      A cruise sounds wonderful.

      Ted Cruz is objectionable in so very many ways that his face can just be one of them. I don't like to pile on with something so petty and superficial either. He does look like he's always being patronizing to the point of tears. I'm sure he has quite a few redeeming qualities, such as being a very kind father to his children and maybe he is very good to his mother as well. I don't know. But I do know that I disagree with pretty much everything he says and represents,and I find him off-putting in demeanor and attitude.

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  8. I so agree with Fauxprof: Ted Cruz is disgusting right down to his face. There is something about that guy's mug that literally turns my stomach. His creep factor goes hand in hand with the ridiculous “values” he supposedly stands for. I, however, am far less kind than you, dear Nance, and I am totally O.K. with piling it on, because if anybody ever had a vicious streak, it is this guy. He is pure evil looking for somewhere to happen.

    Yesterday I heard an interview on NPR by the author of One Nation Under God: How Corporate American Invented Christian America. Really eye-opening because I did not know that the “under God” part of the Pledge of Allegiance was not added until... about the age I had to recite this in school! Always did wonder about the “in God we trust” on our money, as well. So now I know. Common sense told me the founding fathers had nothing to do with that crap--- guess I should have known. Just didn’t think it was that recent. Related finding on internet: http://tinyurl.com/np756f5

    Who leaves Christmas stuff up for months?!! If you had HOAs like the ones here, they would be on it in a flash. In this state, the HOA in certain snooty neighborhoods will fine you for having the wrong kind of landscaping in your yard.

    Who else needs to Get Over It? Well, my answer is not very original, but the NRA needs to re-think what the 2nd Amendment really meant, and that fact that you can defend yourself without an AK-47. All those open-carry freaks who are creating an ignorant, narcissistic, hateful society who thinks their neighbors are all out to kill them--- Get Over It and get rid of your army ammo. You don’t need it. Because one day, the relatives of innocent victims of this narcissistic rage are going to walk in to an NRA convention and even up the score because you won’t even approve background checks for all the nutters out there.

    So yeah... all these people can Get Over It. Let’s have a National Get Over It Day!

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  9. Ortizzle--Ted Cruz is really pushing the collective Buttons of the DoN readership! Like most teapartiers, he's completely stupid, and it's alarming that anyone takes him seriously. Of course, it's only other teapartiers that DO, but look how far S Palin got. He's like Michelle Bachmann, except as you said, he's got that streak of truly insidious evil. I'm hoping he doesn't make it past Iowa.

    Or TO Iowa.

    The co-opting of God by the republicans has been a real freakshow for me to watch. It's just as astonishing as watching them morph into the party of Joe Schmo, while they paint the Democrats as a bunch of elitists. I have no idea how Karl Rove pulled that one off, and I am constantly amazed by the number of low-income people, renting in lousy neighborhoods, who display republican candidate signs.

    I think most gun owners need to Get Over It. I don't understand how owning a gun is worth it. If it's for personal protection, and you follow the suggestions of keeping the gun in one place, safety on, and the ammo in another, how the hell are you going to protect yourself from an intruder anyway? If you are keeping it for target shooting, as a hobby, just use a range gun. If you're a hunter, okay, but how many guns do you really, really need? Certainly not any assault-type guns. I'm sorry, but I'll never, ever be convinced that there is any reason to own a handgun. Ever.

    Off to research if there already IS a National Get Over It Day.

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    1. National Get Over It Day = March 9th!! Ha, ha. Just goes to prove there is a day for pretty much everything.

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