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Tuesday, December 02, 2014

In Which I Catch You Up On All Sorts Of Things And Offer The Afflicted A Freebie (With A Side Of Salinger)

Welcome to December, Dearest Readers, a month for which I have the Highest Hopes. Before I begin with the actual Innards of this post, let me remind you that, Officially, you may set out your Christmas Mugs, put up your Christmas Trees and Other Yuletide Decor, and listen to all the Christmas Music your merry heart desires. Now that November has cleared out, it is Perfectly Acceptable and sanctioned by the Dept. of Nance.

November was a Massive Disappointment for me, and while it's a little early for Festivus and The Airing Of Grievances, I have a little bit of Random Business to attend to in this post. I know you'll indulge me.

1. The Medical. Yesterday was the first day I actually felt Well. My cold developed into sinus and ear infections, and I became so very weak and sad. Complicating matters was the fact that I am presently without a general practitioner, and I was in no shape to sit in a waiting room, alone, trying to fill out forms when I could barely sit up. My situation was dire, so I resorted to technology and downloaded the app Doctor On Demand. Within twenty minutes I:   had a private consultation with a doctor, was prescribed medications which were called in to a local pharmacy, and had a comprehensive write-up of my session to refer to any time I wanted. All for $40. All while I sat in my chair in my jammies and blanket. As much as I hate going to the doctor and sitting and waiting, this was worth it. And I was given a code to share with anyone I wanted, which offers patients a discount. Here it is if you're ever in a similar, non-emergency situation: ac68f0se . (No, this isn't a sponsored post.)

2. The Holiday. As you might imagine, being so ill made Thanksgiving difficult. Luckily, I live with a Superhero. Rick made everything except the dressing/stuffing, and that included the two pumpkin pies. The boys (and Zydrunas) came over early in the day to help out with things, too, so all I had to do was check on the turkey and eat. My oven soldiered through it all, which is good because when I called to get service, I was told that it would be Impossible--Frigidaire (aka The Great Satan) no longer makes any parts for that appliance. Just so you know, That Appliance is less than ten years old. I want to say Terrible Things about Frigidaire, but I have used them all up already. Since so many of you Gracious Living-ers are dying to know, we did not have a centerpiece on the table; I served an oaked Chardonnay and a Rosé, and no silver-polishing was necessary because we didn't use anything which required it. Zydrunas was angelic until Marlowe suddenly made an appearance, and then all bets were off for approximately the four seconds it took for the chase which ensued. (I didn't see Marlowe again until approximately 11 PM.)

3. The Government. I've kept calm and quiet here regarding all of the governmental bullshit over the past months because A) I'm trying to maintain my Zen, and B) it's pointless to get my undies in a bunch, but honestly, it's crap like this quote from Sen. Harry Reid--yes, a Democrat--that makes me want to zip down there and smack the entire Congress: “We have a lot to do. And there isn’t much time to accomplish it. I urge all senators to work hard to complete our work in a timely and efficient fashion. We may have to be here the week before Christmas." Can I see a show of hands from Every Single Person Out There who has/had a Lot To Do and had/has to work the week before Christmas all of the time? I'd like to quote the nitrous-addled kid from the YouTube video when I say, "Is this real life?!" If you want to make yourselves sick, go here and look at how little your Congress is working for you. These goldbrickers are rarely in session, ever. And many of these blowhards are the same snots who want to cut teacher pay because, according to them, teachers only work nine months a year. So when these Congresspersons tell you that many of the days that they are not In Session, they are still, in fact, Working, tell them THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT TEACHERS DO TOO! And teachers don't have paid staffers to help them. Not even ONE.

4. The Paid Cyberbully. Speaking of a paid staffer, let me say this about republican EX-staffer Elizabeth Lautner, the congressional aide who took to her TwitPinFace account to bully the President's teenaged daughters. It's the ugliest thing in the world to use kids for your own adult agenda. Why in the world would you ever, ever be mean and nasty to a kid simply because you didn't like his or her parents? It's hard enough in the world to be a kid in the public eye, and someone like Elizabeth Lautner just made it ten times harder. I'm not going to parse her objectionable comments because we all know what she said and what it meant. But picking on teenaged girls via social media is, to me, the equivalent of beating a toddler at Candyland. And I'm still waiting for a true apology because the one Lauten provided--after several hours of intense prayer, supposedly--was a non-starter, and every sincere person in the world knows it.

5. The American People. You know, I've covered this territory before, but holy crap, how pathetic are They? And don't say, "Nance, you are an American Person, you know!" Honestly, I am seriously starting to wonder. I really, truly am. Because It's scary. Look at the results of the newest CNN/ORC poll:

50% of Americans believe the GOP taking control of the House and the Senate next year will be bad for America
52% expect it to lead to more gridlock

68% Americans polled say the GOP isn't cooperating enough with President Obama
57% say it's Obama who's not cooperating enough with the GOP

44% of Americans view the Democratic Party favorably
50% view it unfavorably

41% of Americans view the republican party favorably
52% view the republican party negatively

Who voted in this last election?  Did they bus in a bunch of idiots who think that the earth is flat and that spray cheese is all the science they ever need?  I know I voted.  I voted SO HARD.  But thanks to careful gerrymandering, it's not going to matter much anymore. Take a look at Ohio's district map.

6. The Theory. As I've mentioned before, both of my sons have a Twitter account, and occasionally I stalk them (purely for amusement). I've often felt that Jared has a little Holden Caulfield in him, and that quality twinkled at me when I read this particular tweet:

Women always show up to a place like they're going to be there for a couple weeks.

(Oh my, Chapter Eight; Ernest Morrow's mother who leaves her goddamn bags in the middle of the aisle and her hands lousy with rocks! Sigh.)

******************

It's good to be Alive again.

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7 comments:

  1. Glad you're feeling better and that you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving. And, yes, it is okay to put up Christmas decorations. Even though I'm Jewish and don't celebrate, I love seeing the decorations.

    Those Obama girls are beautifully raised. They are lovely and classy and smart and they seem to truly love their parents and each other. Parenting is the most difficult thing in the world to do and I'm always complimentary when I see children in public who are well-behaved. I say something to their parents, which usually embarrasses and pleases them.

    I don't know who voted but I damn well know who didn't vote. It was Democrats who were too lazy to vote or who thought Obama wasn't living up to their mythical expectations, so why bother to vote. Even if he wasn't on the ballot, I do think people thought of him.

    Well, Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to all.

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  2. Welcome back to the world of the living and well, Nance! It's so good to hear YOU in your words again!

    I'm so, so intrigued by the Doctor on Demand concept. Wow. That might be reason enough to get a smartphone. I tried to research DOD online, but still have to ask ... so it's all done by video per an app? No actual physical exam with a doctor or am I misunderstanding? And you can't beat the price. My goodness. So glad that it all worked so well for you!

    Bravo to all the men in your family who delivered on Thanksgiving this year! I was perfectly well and didn't have a centerpiece either.

    My one early nod to the other holidays that you might recall is my Reindeer Antlers drink. I accidentally picked up blueberry pomegranate juice vs plain pomegranate juice so I used it and we called this year's version Reindeer Blue Balls. ;-) Yes, we're getting bawdy in our old age. LOL

    Btw, I did appreciate the pronunciation help with Zydrunas a while back. Sorry that he's not Marlowe's friend. Sonny has a cat friend in the neighborhood who seeks him out, actually coming into our driveway sometimes. They touch noses and smell each other and then go on their merry ways. Too funny.

    So many in our Congress are so entitled, so clueless. They have no idea what work really is. My sister as a teacher just keeps getting the work piled on. She wonders if she'll make it through the year. She doesn't see how she'll survive another 4 years until retirement and there's talk of an early retirement package, but it's a sad excuse for an offer. I feel for her. Every evening and weekend of hers is filled with work and she feels like it's barely enough to tread water. It's horrible.

    Elizabeth Lautner--Loser with a big "L" on her head. Inexcusable. Hope she suffers for her behavior.

    You might have seen the cartoons going around showing how many people enthusiastically turn out for Black Friday sales, but how few show up to vote. Pathetic.

    Great commentary by Jared. Truth. And Holden Caulfield-ish indeed. Btw, that took me back to high school English and Mrs. Davis who taught well beyond her retirement date and sometimes accidentally stepped into the trash can. One of those big round green monsters. Bless her heart.

    Shirley

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  3. Sitting here laughing at Mrs. Davis (sorry Mrs. Davis!)...

    So glad you're feeling better! You can see our Thanksgiving centerpieces on my post - but there was definitely no silver involved. We're pretty casual.

    I've been trying to bury my head in the sand re: The Politics. I voted! Fat lot of good it did...

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  4. I tried to comment from the iPad and could not remember my password, alas; sorry to be tardy.
    I am glad your crew did Thanksgiving for you and even gladder (um?) that you are feeling better.
    And with you on the voter thing. We have a new local council here, and a horrible choice for mayor and vice mayor. Plus an acclaimed councilor who is totally a one issue candidate. Sigh. Luckily they do not control enough strings to do a lot of harm, but I can't help echoing how you feel.
    Plus, our federal leader is a stuffed turkey.

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  5. Mary G--Oh, never worry about timeliness. I answer comments anytime. I'm currently on a little Southern Jaunt, so I'm behind here myself.

    Complaining about one's politicians is universal, I think. When Rick and I go to Canada, we are often treated to lamentations regarding the local and provincial leaders. That doesn't make either of us feel any better, though, does it?

    Thank you for your kind concern regarding my health. I am so, so happy to feel well.

    Bug--Sigh. I know, I know. But every once in a while, that sand I bury my head in becomes a volcano.

    Shirley--Regarding Dr. On Demand: Since it is done via a "FaceTime", or video call-type consultation, there can't be an actual hands-on physical examination. It's not appropriate for many, many doctor appointments. But in my case, I could list my symptoms, give a brief case history ahead of time, including allergies and pre-existing conditions, and answer any questions the doctor asked during the consult. She could see me, and I suppose if it were for a wound or rash, it would be something that could be seen on the video call.

    The whole Congress should be completely ashamed of itself. I maintain to this day that not one of them could answer--on his/her own--with any accuracy, how much a gallon of gas, a loaf of bread, or a pound of ground beef is in his/her district right now. Or in D.C., even. It's pathetic how out of touch all of them are. They have zero interest in the American people, the conduct of governance, or the good of the country. They are playing a game, and it's a zero-sum one at that.

    Glad to have helped with the pronunciation thing. It's like when you read a book with difficult names and keep getting tripped up.

    How can anyone step into a trash can? They're so tall!

    Phoebes--Yes, yes, yes to everything you said! I also compliment parents, especially in restaurants, on the behaviour of children. It's rare that children are pleasantly conducting themselves in public.

    And I agree about the Democrats being ridiculous about their disavowing of the President. I hope there is a special place in hell (if there is even a hell) for Alison Lundergan Grimes, who threw KY to the republicans all by herself. She is maintaining a Firm Hold on the #1 slot of my Needs To Be Smacked List.

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  6. So glad you are on the mend, and enjoyed Thanksgiving despite what Jon Stewart calls "the boubons".

    What with the end of the semester (yesterday) and our imminent Bathfitters rehab (Monday/Tuesday), I have been dilatory in responding to my favorite blogs.

    Christmas decorations: nothing indoors until after the Bathfitters folk are done, save for my tiny Advent tree that I have put out every year for thirty years. However, I took advantage of our (relatively) good weather to wrap the ornamental lamppost and front porch railings with red ribbons and bows, and hang a wreath on the front door. I was about to take in my bright orange acrylic pumpkin, but I had a burst of whimsy and put a Santa hat on it.

    The Politics: what irks me is the mean-spiritedness of the right wing. It's not humor, or even snark, just schoolyard cruelty. The likes of Hannity, O'Reilly, Malkin and Limbaugh are so smug and self satisfied in their trumped up righteousness that I am moved to frustrated anger.

    Oh, well, let's have a cup of Christmas Candy coffee, and watch a sweet old movie on the DVDS player. You choose, I've probably got it in my collection.


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  7. fauxprof--I'm not even ready for Christmas in spirit. I feel quite ambivalent at the moment; I'm sure that will change.

    I love the old Miracle on 34th Street in black and white with little Natalie Wood and Edmund Gwenn. That might do it. Maybe hauling out the Christmas coffee mugs will help, and certainly getting the tree up, too, this week. I feel terribly behind already, but I am devoted to my Zen and refuse to feel harried.

    Enjoy your refurbished bathroom! It will feel so heavenly, I know. Hugs to the elderdog.

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