Did you ever have the sensation that nothing was happening in your life, yet you were very, very busy? I'm feeling that way lately, and I have to tell you, it's all very odd. Of course, these days, if I have anything to do, it seems like a big deal.
While I have a moment in my Big Honking Schedule, I thought I'd share a few Cranial Crumbs and tidy the space up a bit.
---|Google Is So Deep. Sometimes, when I'm doing a little research, Google likes to wax poetic in order to give me some perspective and some spontaneous poetry. For example, I was searching for something which began with the word "white." I got as far as wh, and Google began a poetry slam (punctuation is mine; line break is all Google):
where's my refund?
what's the word,
white pages Ohio?
Wow. This really identifies the urban angst that is Out There, in The Mean Streets. Google really gets it.
I admit it. I like to nudge Google and make my research queries in the form of a question. I got this far in my most recent query and Google took it away: "Why are m-":
why are manhole covers round?
why are my boobs sore?
why are my hands always cold?
why are my cookies always flat?
---|Kickoff! I don't give a damn about football of any kind, but I got very excited about the Cleveland Browns first draft pick this year. Why? Only because he has the Best Name Ever. BARKEVIOUS MINGO. Oh, yes, say it over and over again. How fantastic of a name is that? I heard that name over a year ago and made a Solemn Vow to someday name something BarkeviousMingo, all together like that, because it is a kickass name. He goes by a wimp-out nickname, KeKe, but not in this house. He will always be BARKEVIOUS MINGO at the Dept. The Browns did a great job in the Name Department. They also drafted a Leon, a Jamoris, and an Armonty. Nice work.
---|I'm Organic, At Least. It occurred to me the other day that I would love to be my shampoo. You probably would, too. Just read the label. I really want to be a "sensual and alluring blend." Don't you want to "have great body and sparkle"? Wouldn't you like to hear someone tell you that being with you is "rejuvenating"? I sure would.
---|'Tis The Season. Friday was my birthday, and one of my best gifts was the weather. I actually wore flipflops out in my yard and was able to garden. Naturally, that is the only time I wear flipflops. Sadly, I know that A) most teens have been wearing flipflops for months now, and B) most people wear flipflops to weddings, restaurants, funerals, and other public places. I think my Original Point was, however, that the weather was warm enough that I could both garden and wear summer shoes. Sigh.
---|Animal House. Finally, just some general silliness. Since Rick and I got rid of cable, we're forced to talk to one another more often.
Nance: Where are you going?
Rick: I'm gonna go change before dinner and before I jump in the shower. I just feel gross.
Nance: Into what?
Nance: What are you going to change into?
Rick: An elephant.
Nance: What kind of elephant?
Rick: A baby one.
Nance: Oh, good. How cute.
(Later, after dinner, Rick gets up.)
Rick: Okay. I'm gonna go grab that shower.
Nance: Why not just use your trunk?
Go ahead. Google that.
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