You see, the whole thing began innocently enough when I was shopping for a bag of noodles. What could be more benign? In my part of the world, when St. Patrick's Day rolls around, so does Prime Time for making the great ethnic dish of Cabbage And Noodles. Rick and I love it; Sam likes it, and I planned to make it on a Monday when he hangs out here for dinner. I grabbed a big, chubby cabbage and zipped over to the noodle aisle, and that's where I got bogged down for what seemed like eons.
And let me tell you why: No one makes a full 16-ounce bag of noodles anymore. No one. I lingered there so long with furrowed brow, walking up and down, reading bags of noodles, that two separate Helpful Employees asked me if they could assist me. The sad truth is this: Like all other grocery comestibles, packaging sizes have been reduced while prices have not, and we have no recourse. The 16-ounce noodle package has gone the way of the 3-pound coffee can, the full half-gallon of ice cream, a 5-pound bag of sugar, and all the other large, full-size containers we knew back when I could spell "republican" with a capital "R."
Anyway. I bought my TWELVE OUNCE BAG of noodles (with extreme prejudice) and went home. Here they are:
First of all, I dare any of you to find where it even says there are 12 ounces in there. And yes, it's on the front. I looked forever. (But they're An American Classic!)
But here is the thing that I really, really love. As I was putting my American Classic Extra Wide Egg Noodles away, I got a good look at the front of the bag.
|I put it inside a nice purple arrow for you!|
Oh, thank you, Mueller's! And here, I was going to cook up Cabbage And Noodles. All I really have to do is just lean a couple of peppers on the table, and voila! it's Dinner! I don't even have to use the actual noodles. And it's lactose-, gluten-, HFCS-, and fat-free! And vegan!
Now, some of you are clamoring, "Wait! Perhaps there is An American Classic Recipe on the back that utilizes the peppers!" I hear you, and I am a scrupulous journalist.
So...nope. I'm at a loss, aren't you? But I don't have time to figure it all out. I've got to get dinner ready. Tonight, Sam is working, so it's just Rick and I. I hope he likes it.