Quick! Grab a Moment Of Zen right now because thanks to Halloween being Officially Over, THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US! I need room for all of that in my head, thanks to crass commercialism/consumerism via The Media (aka Target and KMart Layaway, the first retail outlets that I saw to air Christmas commercials), so I'm going to have a bit of a Cranial Clear-Out. Here are a few embryonic thought nerfuls that have been nattering around, taking up space both in my head and on my Desktop StickyNotes.
^*^Parkinson's Law^*^ This principle is stated thusly: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. First proposed satirically by Cyril Northcote Parkinson to criticize the British Royal Navy in the 1950s, this rule is now cited as often as the famed Peter Principle when skewering the operation of large organizations, most notably corporate entities. All I can do is lament the fact that I was oblivious to the existence of Parkinson's Law when I was In Education! I could have used it almost daily. Every single teacher knows that no matter how long you give for an assignment, the vast preponderance of students will fritter away that time frame and still do the task the night before it is due. OR, if possible, do it in the hallway five minutes before class. These days, Parkinson's Law still applies to my life. Now that I have an entire day to do, say, the laundry, grocery shopping, and cat maintenance, well, that is exactly how long it takes to do it. Often, those chores are still incomplete at 5:30 when Rick gets home, and I am sheepishly folding towels as he walks in the door. Oh well.
^*^I Don't Love Messes. Here's My Mommy Card.^*^ So I'm watching TV, and a commercial comes on for Clorox Clean-Up. It shows a mommy in the kitchen, cooking/baking with her children. Messiness and wonderful loving happiness ensue. The mommy cheerily cleans up all of the foody messes with Clorox Clean-Up while hugging her kids and smiling. The voiceover says, "Clorox Clean-Up...for the messes only a mother could love." Really? I've been a mother for over twenty-seven years, and I have yet to love a mess. Or cleaning a mess. And let me tell you, there have been plenty. Even the Christmas cookie decorating messes, which are the worst, actually, with all the little nonpareils, the chocolate jimmies, the colored sugar, and heaven forbid if the food coloring gets spilled. Did we have fun in the kitchen? Usually, yes. But did I love the messes? Hell no. Come on, Clorox. Time to get real.
^*^And Yet Our Government Is Full Of Them^*^ By far, my favourite quote about men still comes from the book Bridget Jones's Diary. The titular character's staunch friend Sharon maintains that "men--...are so catastrophically unevolved that soon they will just be kept by women as pets for sex...outside in kennels." It is terribly mean, but think about it when you read the following dialog sent to me by Jared, my eldest. It is a small snippet of a conversation that took place at his job, a workplace staffed almost entirely by men (They have one female employee).
Jared: Dave, do you have the DC/Baltimore/Maryland map I created?
Gabe: It's hanging right on your wall, Dave.
Jared: Did you even know that that existed?
Dave: The wall?
Jared: Yeah. Yeah, Dave. The wall.
Dave: Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I knew about that. Just didn't know the map was on it.
Shake loose a few of your own Cranial Cobwebs in comments. But hurry! Here comes...well, you know!
illustration found here