1. Why Can't I Quit You? I am talking about my LoveHate, Daniel Day-Lewis. Not to be tedious here, but my Longtime Readers know of my eleventy hundred year affair with this man and my dismay with his failure to A) reprise his Glory Days of The Last of the Mohicans by taking glamour roles and B) look handsome and dress well in public the few times he does surface.
Right now, the stars have aligned and three of my Favourite Things have come together as one: President Lincoln, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, and DD-L, for a movie has been made of her wonderful book Team of Rivals and DD-L is playing Lincoln. When I heard this news, I was elated and thrilled. When I saw this picture of DD-L as President Lincoln, I was excited.
There is no excuse for that haircut. His next role is a 17th century Jesuit priest who travels to Japan. It is in pre-production. It's like he doesn't even care how much he embarrasses me.
2. Why Didn't Someone Yell Cut? And speaking of President Lincoln and film, I could not be more outraged, disappointed, and saddened by the ridiculous movie currently in theaters (and which I will not name here) that turns our 16th president into some sort of occult action hero. Why not Nixon or Washington, or, oh hell, let's grab a non-president with a distinctive and readily-identifiable persona, Benjamin Franklin?
|from Amazon Studios|
Honestly, the whole premise offends me. Oh, I know that I'm sensitive to Anything Lincoln--I get that. But it's awful. I really believe that the only reason the filmmakers and producers are getting away with this travesty is because there are no surviving direct descendants of the Lincoln line.
3. Doesn't Anyone Else Speak English? Now, back to books. Those of you who actually read at my site may have noticed in the sidebar that I'm reading--off and on--a book titled The Whole Truth by David Baldacci. It's not My Kind Of Book, but I got it because A) it was part of my campaign to broaden my reading spectrum and not be so snobby; B) it was only a few bucks in hardback when a bookstore was closing; and C) it is a genre that a buddy of mine enjoys. So I'm reading this and I notice a sentence that rocks me up off my chaise longue and causes me to say out loud to no one,"Oh my GOD NO WAY IS THIS IN HERE!" Here is the offending sentence from page 165: When the screams reached Anna's ear, she thought someone had injured themself.
I. Know. Go ahead. Look up "themself" in the dictionary (or try anyway). Look up "someone." Now look up the rule governing pronoun-antecedent agreement, just for the hell of it. Then try not to kill yourself at any point along the way. And this sentence is only one example. I took this sentence to lunch with a bunch of English teachers, and during our chat, I said, "I bet if I did a Fry Readability Assessment on this book, it would score only about a sixth grade level. Seriously. It's a New York Times best seller, and it's just so elementary. It's a Guy Book, but it's just basic." My friend Caroline said, "Who's it by, now?" I said, "David Baldacci." She responded with a grimace, "Well, what did you expect from a former child star who has had a bunch of drug problems and all that? Wasn't he the one from The Partridge Family?" (Gotta love her. But she just had a baby and a job change and...well, she gets a pass from me.)
Now, I look at David Baldacci's bio. He has a ton of best sellers to his credit and I have...zero. He established the Wish You Well foundation, which, ironically, supports "family literacy in the United States by fostering and promoting the development and expansion of new and existing literacy and educational programs." In the acknowledgements of The Whole Truth, he thanks his editor for doing a great job. (But who allowed this sentence on p. 270: Creel was actually a private investor in the newspaper and he'd been the one who'd discreetly behind the scenes orchestrated the assignment for her.) And the Fry? I was wrong.
|Hard to see, but my dot indicates the score. Maybe you can click and it will enlarge.|
4. Speaking of bookstores, I want to come clean publicly for being The Responsible Party, The One Who Singlehandedly Closed Borders. I'm sorry. It was I. I was the one who simply stopped going to bookstores and chose the Evil Convenience of Amazon.com. I didn't even browse Borders and have cappuccino or biscotti or any of those other fun words to say at their cafe. I was lured by the comfort of my chair at home and Super Saver Shipping. I felt dirty and sinful and like a Horrid Opportunist when I swooped in and grabbed cheapo hardbacks during their Last Days, like the warty old women bartering over Scrooge's bedcurtains. Please don't hate me. I want redemption, Help me.
5. Finally, if you are sick of Sudoku and finding crosswords too conventional, allow me to introduce you to Jotto. I have no idea how I found out about this addictive and frustrating little words and letters game, but it's too late to blame them now. You're welcome.
Your turn. Kick out some of your Cranium Clutter in Comments.