|The field of 2012 republican presidential candidates is still growing|
I mean besides the picture provided at the top of the post.
I have, and it is, as my son Jared would say, a dumpster fire.
Nothing but unmitigated glee was in my heart the day Michele Bachmann formally announced her candidacy, for I knew that this was going to be a Sarah Palin/Christine O'Donnell Hybrid Run For The Flames. That poor woman--she has no idea just how stupid she really, really is. I honestly believe that the media declared her the winner and lauded her performance at the "first big debate" in order to give her a false sense of security and encourage her to make more of her stunningly idiotic pronouncements. It did not take long. From declaring nine-year-old John Quincy Adams a Founding Father to saying that she wants to take the country back "from the people all across the nation," Mrs. Bachmann just keeps on proving that anyone can graduate from Oral Roberts with a degree in something. Or that Minnesota voters just elect women who are somewhat attractive. And, apparently, liars and hard of hearing or mulishly stubborn, as is showcased in this interview with the astute and patient gentleman, Bob Schieffer, in which she was confronted with her PolitiFact record and simply refused to answer his question multiple times. Need more Crazy? Click here. My prediction? Pretty soon, she'll realize that she's in way over her airhead. She'll do a CopOut Dropout and use this excuse: "The constant negative media scrutiny and invasiveness was beginning to harm my family, including my TWENTY-THREE FOSTER CHILDREN.I cannot risk harming them or their privacy, which they deserve. For their sake, I am reluctantly withdrawing my candidacy. Blah blah blah." In the meantime, enjoy the show.
Poor Tim Pawlenty. What on earth is he even about? ; No one, not even he, knows. This Baloney On Wonderbread Factor is something that the media glommed on to right away, and poor Tim can't shake it. He's just The Nondescript White Guy Without "It". He's No Sizzle And No Steak. And he can't get history right, either. I saw that way back on 21 February of last year. That was when I took the governor to task about his lax interpretation of the Declaration of Independence and his bullshit parroting of republican doctrine. He basically said Nothing. And now, when the media is magnifying that Vast Void, he is trying on a bunch of new personalities, like Peter Brady. But he just sounds goofy and we all know it's just more Porkchops And Applesauce. He won't last long; the media have already pronounced him DOA after Iowa, which is patently ridiculous, especially in light of the fact that Bachmann is leading there, but all the same, he's a goner, despite his cool, new, urban-chic nickname (yet it, too, has...unfortunate associations). "T-Paw" is Toast.
"Don't Call Him A Washington Insider" Newt Gingrich is still hanging on, but even he isn't taking it seriously anymore. This is the candidate who blamed Patriotism for his marital infidelity. A man whose outstanding balance at Tiffany's is more than most people's net worth. This guy goes on vacation and his whole staff just says, "Hey, everyone, now that he's gone, whaddya say we quit? Grab your coffee mug and I'll meet you outside in...say, five minutes?" But let me tell you: When Newt first announced he was In, I watched him on Meet the Press. He got down and dirty and bashed Paul Ryan's Almighty Plan and told it how it was. I was impressed. Until a few days later. That's when he caved to Limbaugh and his minions like all the other republicans and had to sob and placate and walk it back like a penitent supplicant. What a load. Newt won't go far, but he might be just enough of a sonuvabitch to stick around for a few primaries to be that sonuvabitch.
Oh, Rick Santorum. He would amuse me if he weren't so scary, like a rogue clown at the circus that hangs around the tent flaps and pops out to scare children but says he didn't mean to. There's just something awful and unseemly about him. And his Google Problem doesn't help, really. Yet, he brought it on himself. He is rampantly, frighteningly, misogynistically, homophobically, unrelentingly conservative with all the tonnage that brings. He is Sarah Palin's twin, really, except for the Roman Catholic part. For more of Rick's Ravings, click here. What really frosts my cupcakes about Rick Santorum, though, is that he's just so maddeningly dumb. He thinks he's being triumphantly sharp and clever and erudite, like this defense against abortion: "The question is -- and this is what Barack Obama didn't want to answer -- is that, is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person, human life is not a person, then I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'No, we're going to decide who are people and who are not people.'" Oh, Rick Santorum. It's not even that you're being racist here. It's...well, wait. This says it for me. How long for Rick Santorum? We've already seen the end of this movie in the last presidential primaries.
The republicans would love to be able to pin their hopes on Jon Huntsman..if he had not already worked for President Obama. He's sane, he's smart, and he's moderate. But he's a Mormon. Can he or Mitt pull a JFK ("it's not what church I believe in but what kind of America I believe in")--or should they, even--and confront the republican base with at least that One of their Many Prejudices? Sigh. Not worth it. Huntsman can't be The One either. He favours civil unions and, as I said before, he's Mormon and moderate. He's already done.
And can someone please tell me who is the Doodah advising Gov. Rick Perry? Although considering how long it took for most of the republicans to wake up and really see Sarah Palin, I should not be surprised that he is considering entering this Clown Wagon Of Candidates. This is the Texan who appeared at a teabagger rally and offered secession if Washington didn't snap to and behave itself while he was an acting governor. I have to agree with my DemCrush James Carville who says, regarding a Perry candidacy, "He talks a lot and he's not very bright. And that's a combination I like in republicans." Besides, America--think! Republican, Texas...been there, done that. At the risk of quoting Lord Help Me, Dr. Phil, "How'd that work for ya?"
Right now, I have to say I'm not Entirely Thrilled with the Current President. But run him up against any of these yahoos, and he looks like a winner.