Before I go on, let's all check today's date, shall we? It is February Twentysomething, 2010. Thank you.
Allow me, then, to make this announcement which, it would seem, some members of Our Society have been waiting to hear:
IT IS TIME TO TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS OUTSIDE.
Perhaps I need to be more specific. Gladly:
1. Illuminated reindeer in your front yard are not "wintry." They are "Christmassy" and should be removed.
2. A fake pine wreath with glittery ornaments on your front door--outta there.
3. The life-size manger scene celebrating the birth of a baby who would be 2 months old by now and already out of the manger--history.
4. The fence draped with fake evergreen swags and red bows isn't "Valentiney," it's Noel-ish and Valentine's Day was almost 2 weeks ago.
5. Pretty soon you'll have to scoot Santa Claus over in that sleigh in your yard and make room for either a leprechaun or the Easter Bunny.
6. If you aren't going to take down those icicle lights, at least stop turning them on every night!
I could go on, but I think you get my drift. (Is that a pun?)
I'm starting to rethink my position that everything bad can be blamed on the republicans and instead, I can start blaming it on these people. Think about it. All this snow? The groundhogs came out, saw all these damned Christmas decorations and thought it was still December! Thanks a lot, Lazy Decoration People! Flattened housing market due to unsold existing properties? Well, who the hell wants to buy a house next to one with lit-up reindeer in the middle of February? Thanks a helluva lot, Lazy Decoration People! The house can't sell, the family can't move to a cheaper property, the parents can't make their payments, the house forecloses, the family is homeless, the dad loses his job because his credit is trashed, the family can't buy the necessary goods and services it needs to survive...Thanks a whole effing bunch, Lazy Decoration People! You've just destroyed An American Family AND the American Economy!
This also affects me personally in my state, where property taxes fund the schools. Had to be said.
So. I think I've made several important points. So, Lazy Decoration People, just do it. Don't make me come over there.