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Friday, February 13, 2009

Politics Inspire A Revival Of The Snarku! (All This, And A Long Weekend Too! Hey, That Rhymed!)

The Muse is upon me, Dear Readers, but I'm still feeling pretty snarky about a lot of things, especially the Political Landscape. This can only mean one thing: it's time to revisit the Snarku. For my longtime readers, you may recall this poetic form that I created back in the summer of 2007. For those of you who are new to the Dept. or who may not recall what the Snarku is, here's a quick refresher.


The Snarku retains the original syllabic structure of the haiku: the first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables, the third line is 5 syllables. But, the Snarku differs in that it is 2 stanzas, not just one. This allows the writer/crafter of the Snarku to really build up and then blow off the head of steam he or she has about the topic being expounded upon. The only other "rule" of the Snarku is that by the end of it, there should be some residual sense of snarkiness.

Now then, let's get snarking, shall we?


To The Minority Party, In Hopes That They Recall Their Status

Hey! Republicans!
Remember THE ELECTIONS?
Reality Check--

Your way didn't work.
In fact, you broke the country.
Now let us clean up.


Their Sense Of Entitlement Is Breathtaking

Here's an idea
For all U.S. senators
pay your damn taxes!

Don't try telling us
"Oh, it was an oversight."
We're not idiots.




Take The Gloves Off

Bipartisanship?
Honeymoon's over, Barack!
(They're sore losers.)

We all saw you try.
Now it's time to kick some ass.
(We'll take down their names.)





Vanity, Thy Name Is John

What's with Boehner's tan?
This guy is from Ohio,
Capital of Clouds!

How vain is this man?
Foundation? The tanning bed?
Metrosexual!




Go ahead and get your Snarku on in the comments section. Or your plain old Haiku. You'll feel cleansed and poetic. Kind of like a...colonic for the soul. Or not. ?

13 comments:

  1. mom,

    youre a genius. incredible stuff here. how much of a badass does barack look like in that pic by the way?

    Badass President
    chill out, heres got this shit, man
    about goddam time.

    there...thats my effort.

    ReplyDelete
  2. j--you're sweet, but were you slightly inebriated when you wrote this? i think the second line of your haiku has a typo. "heres" should be "he's", right? and, i found that awesome pic of Barack by googling "badass barack". no kidding. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ortizzle4:25 PM

    To the Irate Right (who think they’re being Left behind)

    “Socialists,” you say?
    We could use a dose perhaps
    When greed tramples need

    American Way?
    Better educate them first;
    Darwin would agree

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ortizzle--Brava! Love the allusion to Darwin. (Except that it somewhat diminishes the primates...LOL.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am not even going to attempt a Snarku right now. I'm still recovering from our big V Day bash. (It was fantastic, BTW.) Long naps and an early bedtime last night have helped, but still not there yet. I think a "colonic" of any kind would do me in right now. Don't misunderstand, it not's that I overindulged that much ... it's just that party preps and very little sleep that night and the week before, moving furniture, etc. can do a girl in. And, our "bounce back" ability definitely wanes as we age. But, I love all of these: yours, JPD's, and Ortizzle's. Very, very clever! Badass Barack, indeed! LOL Thanks for explainging the Snarku, too. If my brain cells come back in the next few days, I'll submit a Snarku. ;-)

    Shirley

    ReplyDelete
  6. Shirley--Don't come over here lording it over me about a party you didn't even invite me to. Now get off your butt and write a haiku or a snarku. BFD, so you had a little party. Boo hoo. WRITE 17 SYLLABLES. HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

    LOL. Trying to be a badass in my spare time....

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am pretty sure I did invite you to the party (and it was quite the BFD!) ... well, the way I invite all people I don’t know in the flesh (so they won’t think I am a stalker/internet freak). I think I said something like I typically do ... “are you sure you don’t want to visit Virginia and come to our party?” then if the person indicates interest and I really like them, I invite them via official invitaion ... if not, no big deal. I believe you were in the latter category of no interest indicated, Miss Smarty Pants!

    BTW, you can sure tell you are an English teacher … trying to get your readers to write haiku or snarku (smirk). This is me being badass back at you! LOL Seriously, it reminds me of when I was teaching and had our friends playing the Dictionary Game (and doing shots) at our house ... and loving it I might add (okay ... the shots might have helped).

    Now just to punish you for your meanness, my snarku is about one of your faves--who is clearly not one of mine.

    Get Some More Pancake Makeup!

    Our Secretary
    Of State is looking mighty
    Damned haggard of late ...

    Imagine how bad
    She would look if she had won
    The Presidency!


    So there, Nance!
    Shirley

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, Shirley. Why did you have to go THERE. Not Hil-Bashing. I'm so wounded now.

    Sob.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ortizzle8:28 AM

    Had to tell you this. I was watching Bill Maher last night, and in his famous "New Rules" he came up with a photo of Boehner. The tag line read: "Yes, we tan."
    :-))) (He said pretty much what you did, just not in snarku!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ortizzle--I saw Boehner's tan mentioned someplace else--in my Plain Dealer, I think, and it actually said, "This guy is from OHIO, for godsakes." HEY! LET'S CREDIT THE DEPT, PEOPLE!!! LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  11. yes, i WAS slightly inebriated. but that typo aside, pretty fucking impressive that i could count the syllables, isnt it?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Creative ineptitude...I dare not try!

    ReplyDelete
  13. PokerMan115:03 PM

    Found this site by googing Boehner's Tan - being from ohio I listen to him once and a while.

    Republican in govt - are a sick joke, a lame excuse for a party that does not even follow it's own stated intent.

    They left us in a hole - or did they? Personaly I see many of the same people in charge now (look at congress and the courts) that I have been seeing for the past 10 years. Old 'W' was a idiot - but he was not alone.

    The trouble is too many are lawers on the hill. Lawers don't understand money or finance.

    I love Obamha - but he seems to have no clue on how to save this country.

    Here something we can use in a few years.

    Obama Lied
    America Died

    ReplyDelete

Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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