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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Winter Cleaning: Also Known As Cheap Therapy


Let's play a little game. It's called Cheap Therapy. I get to dump a Whole Ton Of Mind Crap on you and toss my head junk out, and then in Comments/Brainstorms, you can clean out your Cranium Clutter. Doesn't that sound great? Here we go:

^*^My blog is currently blue to celebrate the Democratic Mandate Of November 4, 2008, AKA: The Day America Returned To Its Senses. I am not particularly fond of the color scheme, so I will return the Dept. to its regular appearance pretty soon. I just really needed to react on the Interwebs.

^*^Can I just start bitching RIGHT NOW about the onrush of The Holiday Season and how it is being shoved down my throat incessantly and how it started on...oh, like November 1st? Seriously, I get that the Economy sucks and that Consumer Confidence is at an all-time Low and that if I don't start spending my huge enormous monies that WE WILL ALL BE STANDING IN SOUP/BREAD/CHEESE LINES TOMORROW, but enough already! I am not yet ready to start You-know-what shopping, so back off my jock, everyone in retail! The fact that I ordered my Thanksgiving Turkey already is major. I usually talk about ordering it weeks before Thanksgiving but don't actually get around to doing it until about four days before. So, I'm all holidayed up, thanks.

^*^Did anyone else see Brian Williams on the cover of the Sunday (11-16) Parade newspaper supplement? Was that the dorkiest picture, or what? And the accompanying piece was terrible. Come on, BW. Do not tell me that you are so pedestrian about food. Food court food? Ugh.

^*^I found a CD on my desk at home by someone named "Missy Higgins." A couple weekends ago, Rick finally decided we should listen to it. After a few tracks, this was the conversation:
Me: This isn't too bad. It's sort of like Sarah McLachlan meets Anna Nalick.
Rick: And a little Sinead.
Me: Plus some Alanis Morrissette tossed in.
Rick: Wow.
Me: Really, then why do we need Missy Higgins?
Rick: Exactly. Time to thin the herd.

^*^It's been snowing here every day for three days. I repeat: snowing. And it's sticking. On the ground and stuff. Hideous. I can think of no good reason for it. I blame the republicans.

^*^Rick has a little crush on Rachel Maddow of MSNBC. I am so proud of him. He said, "I don't know. There's just something about her. She's so intelligent and capable and has such strength about her. I'm really attracted to strong, intelligent women like her." And yes, he knows she's a lesbian. He also told me after watching the interview with the Obamas on 60 Minutes, "Wow. If Michelle came in here interested, I'd follow her right out the door." Bless his heart. I would, too.

^*^I'm looking for the perfect pair of black dressy boots. I want a high heel, but not so high that I look like I'm into S&M. I want the boots to be up to my knees, but not covering any part of my knees. I want a little embellishment, but nothing flashy or whorey-looking. And I don't want to pay more than 75 bucks. Can someone please get on this for me and save me a lot of calisthenic malling? Size 8 1/2. Oh, and no patent leather. (See "whore" ref. above.)

^*^I'm giving up my short hair. Main reason: I. Am. Freezing. I never realized how warm my hair kept my neck and shoulders. Secondary reason: It consistently pisses me off. I cannot count on it. It is worky. My hair looks different every single day. Yesterday, Great Hair Day. Today, Okay Hair Day. Last week, several Total Failure Hair Days. Amount spent on new hair products: Enormous. Amount of satisfaction derived from success rate of new hair products: zero. Conclusion: might as well use Jell-O, Elmer's Glue-All, Minwax, or Vaseline. (Sidenote--Rick says, "I think your hair always looks nice." Sigh.) Okay. Maybe I have the order of Reasons switched.

^*^I keep thinking about getting a cat. I KNOW! Someone stop me. Now. And hurry. Jared says, "Mom, what is the big deal?" I say, "Jared, it's the hair. THE HAIR!" He says, "Mom, it's only an issue for you." Duh. Does he realize that statement speaks volumes?

Probably I should quit now and give all of you a chance. Vent away! Rid your brains of their burdens. OR--go ahead and psychoanalyze mine. Just be careful in there.

26 comments:

  1. I got my first unmentionable catalogues about a month ago. Well before Hallowe'en. I did a whiny post about it. December 1st is plenty of time.
    Speaking of which, you should have shopped for the boots in September, or maybe August. My size is always gone by the time it snows. I bought perfect black boots last year, however, in a specialty store for people with mobility problems. Go figure.
    It is snowing here too. All I have to do is find those boots.

    I like your brain a lot, just the way it is.

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  2. here's the thing. the cat hair issue is a You Problem. we had two cats, a white one (mainly at least), and one with a white belly.you countered that with...dark red carpet, dark green, dark red, and dark blue furniture. also, dark red drapes.

    oh, also...a black futon matress.

    come on, really?

    get a black cat, name it stanley, and move on. solved.

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  3. Ortizzle10:44 AM

    My vents:
    - Try finding ANY shoe in size 5 1/2. You won't because they only make 2 pairs of any style in that size. One pair is the demo pair used to give the illusion that certain styles are more attractive than they are because we are seeing them in Tinkerbelle size as opposed to aircraft carrier size. The demo pair, I am also convinced, is full of the foot fungus of everyone like me who needs to try on that size. So who's buying them? Not me. The other pair in my size has already been bought.

    -I am tired of Christmas stuff coming out in August. And stores putting up trees with lights the day after Halloween. Thanksgiving, anyone?

    - That picture of BW: yes, he does look like he just told the kindergarten teacher he wet his pants.

    - For the record, I like your blue-y blog, but I am a huge fan of that color.

    - I don't even have time to think of whether I am having a bad hair day or not. Clean and washed is a good hair day. Having time to do a touch-up on the roots is an immensely good hair day, especially if I actually have time to do this more than every three months.

    Signing off before I become even more calisthenic. :-)

    ((((((you do make me laugh)))))))

    back to the salt mines of grading very bad essays in Spanish for which i take no responsibility
    whatsover.

    p.s. The word verification i am getting right now, i absolutely had to tell you this, is: BOYINEAT. uh, BOY-IN-EAT? that's probably almost worth a post. i am working on what the hidden message is there.

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  4. --I'm sick of my local radio station playing Christmas music earlier each year. Last year they did "Christmas preview" weekends starting November 1st. This year I think they just started playing Christmas music every day on Novemeber 1st. Also, Target put out some Christmas stuff (lights, outdoor display items) up WITH the Halloween stuff. Um, NO.

    --I think I'm ready to cut my hair. I love it, but when I need to "do" something with it, there isn't much I can do because there's just too much of it. And I have a fancy schmancy Christmas party to go to, so I have to figure something out before then.

    --I'm so incessantly worried about my upcoming admissions test. One minute, I'm all like, OH NO PROBLEM--they'll be testing me on my ability to test well, and I TEST WELL. The next I'm all CRAP I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

    --I wish my manager would give me some holiday time off. I hate having to get all my shifts covered just to go away for the holidays.

    --I'm mad at Old Navy for not carrying my favorite style of polar fleece. And for carrying more of the awesome cashmere sweaters that I CANNOT AFFORD.

    jpd is right, get a black cat and you'll never know. Or get a Devon Rex, because I'd guess they shed a LOT less.

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  5. Snow? ::snicker:: The other day, it was too hot here. 85 degrees. I got sunburned :-(

    Target had Christmas things up since September. I kid you not. It's Disgusting.

    I kinda love Suze Orman. And the SNL parodies of her. I find myself YouTubing her all the time, and I can't stop.

    Whenever you have a cat, all you do is bitch about it. Now you're bitching about not having a cat. When will you learn? They're just little balls of mess that turn money into crap.

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  6. My Hubby has a crush on Robin, she does the a.m. news on HNN. I really don't think it has ANYTHING to do with her abilty to talk about the happenings of the world.

    I know somewone looking for a home for a kitten. But I think you should probably just get a bunny.

    My neighbor has her Christmas lights up and TURNED ON already. She's a republican.

    My personal gripe: We are in the process of stocking the house/freezer with food so I don't have to go out too much with my Little Angel in the yucky weather. But I have to freezer wrap all the meat MYSELF because my wonderful husband SUCKS at wrapping. Did I mention that I HATE raw meat?!?! It really grosses me out.

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  7. Seriously, Mikey, a sunburn? You could have not told us that! It's a whoppin' 30 degrees here.

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  8. My hair changes its mind every day as well. Yesterday and today I was having TREMENDOUS hair days. Both were really spectacular, but that's because my hair knew I had an appointment for a cut today. I think it's ashamed. Tomorrow, however, it will defy me out of anger.

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  9. apathy lounge--that's a CLASSIC. my hair always looks terrific right before a cut. but if you wait...TOTAL DEVASTATION.

    nina--re: the weather report: i know, right?

    nina, again: i detest the Meat Repackaging Chore. DETEST IT. and as far as bunny VS cat--no contest. rick is vehemently anti-bunny, and i cannot blame him. at least cats are self-sufficient. bunnies have to have a cage and that cedar shaving crap. it's a major hassle. BUT MUST RESIST CAT. MUST RESIST CAT.

    mikey--suze orman needs a major hairdo overhaul. but i admire her for her finance savvy. re: the cat. I KNOW! WHY DO I NEED A BOX OF SHIT IN MY HOUSE AND ANOTHER 10-15 OR MORE YEAR COMMITMENT? AM I RETARDED? APPARENTLY. keep hammering at me. obv, i need it.

    jenomena--i hear you re: Old Navy. we all used to be able to shop the HELL out of ON. now, none of us finds anything. that store has turned to crap. what happened to that store? PS--am googling "devon rex." never heard of such a thing. ever.

    ortizzle--hey, did you take your blog down altogether? i cannot connect to it.
    besides that, WOMAN, YOU HAVE TINY BABY FEETS! holy crap, i am an amazon compared to you. are you shorter than me as well? (I'm 5'4 1/2") and, re: coloring you hair...so far, i have not given in to that beast, thanks to my parents' good genes for THAT. i'm hoping my grey continues to be all underneath and that when it does start "taking over" that it does so in a way i can live with. and the word ver is "boy i neat"--LOL. a compliment to you!

    jpd--not "red", "burgundy".
    also? the day a pet dictates my decor is the day...well, it's not. period. finally, "Stanley" is so NOT a name for a black cat and you know it. and i don't care for black cats. ps--had a dream that i had a grey cat with white paws, very pretty. her name was olivia.

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  10. Call me, and I will hammer away. Remember, people first, then money, then things, then pain-in-the-ass-furballs. Spend that money on shoes and live a happier life!

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  11. Ortizzle5:51 PM

    5'3"

    My blog disappeared off the map. One of the things I was going to explain to you... er, when I have time to write the big-ass email.

    my hair turn grey when i be 32. boy, i not neat at all.

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  12. mary g--but i wasn't THINKING about boots back then! (does this mean you're taking the case?? that would be GREAT!)

    mikey--don't think i don't recognize a SUZE quote! i'll try to call you this weekend. last weekend was busy and then i got a major headache from weather changes.

    ortizzle--i now adore you even more because I AM TALLER THAN YOU! (there are only about 4 people i can say that to who are over the age of...say...7.) i know, i owe you a call also. are you sensing THE PATTERN here? and you is so neat!

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  13. Very, very funny, Nance. I think you just have all these trials and tribulations to make us laugh--thanks!

    I like the REASON for your blue and enjoy the blue in the sidebar!

    I won't be looking up Missy Higgins due to her split personality. (Only one of those folks I enjoy listening to and I might only get to hear that part 25% of the time.)

    Not sure I'd be ready for that much snow either. We had some flurries yesterday ... while the sun was shining. When I was in Asheville, NC over the weekend, it snowed at the higher elevations so Sunday all the mtns were snow covered. It was actually very pretty BUT the snow was a good distance away.

    Rachel Maddow is a cutie. Intelligence should always be part of the attraction equation IMHO. Michelle looked good in that interview and her intelligence and forthrightness is very atrractive, too.

    Boots used to seem so easy, but now finding a good pair (much less a perfect pair) is a huge PITA ... that's why I have no boot at the moment.

    Hair ... OMG, you guys are so right about hair looking great right before an appt. I have one on Thursday that I am thinking about canceling, but I know the moment I do, my hair will look like crap again. I've been contemplating longer hair, too. That would make the men in my life happy. ;-) Even my son says I should grow it out. It's been many, many moons since I had long hair.

    Hmmmm, cat. If you get one, I'll send you the perfect brush to get up the hair. I promise! We've been contemplating getting another dog, but we really enjoy our freedom to come and go as we please ... much easier to get someone to take care of our low-maintenance cats. Ooops, did I just say that? Sorry, Nance. (I like the way Mikey channeled Suze Orman for you. LOL)

    Venting ...

    Hosting a group function this weekend and exactly four of about 40 folks invited have RSVP'd. Nobody RSVPs any more. I've gotten used to it to a certain extent, but it makes planning a bit harder.

    Our cable company just did that thing where they changed the channels/stations all around and you are not supposed to notice that you have several less than you used to. Some of the basic movie channels like AMC seem to have completely disappeared from all the tiers. No reduction in price, of course.

    No earth-shattering venting there ... all for now ...

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  14. Shirley--Oh, trust me; i could do with entertaining you less if it meant my life could be simpler! LOL. And go ahead and leave the cat for a week! Just buy a Cat Bistro. They keep a supply of food and water and the kitty can eat and drink at will. We used to leave Travis and Emily for days and days just fine using those!

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  15. shirley PS--the RSVP thing is HORRID. i'd send cancellation cards and say that due to a lack of interest, the event is no longer being held! that'll teach the ill-bred buggers.

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  16. Oh, two more notes ... is there a chance, just a chance that if consumers were given Christmas in the real window (and were not so sick of Christmas being shoved down our throats for the extended period) that we'd be far more joyful and spend more?

    I just remembered to look at the Parade pic and article. Oh dear ... I think Brian should stay behind his news desk. Lipitor as dessert? 1% milk is his big hurrah? He's not even 50 yet. Sheesh, who could tell by that kind of talk?

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  17. If you are dreaming about cats then I am afraid your ship has sunk on this topic. I foresee a little grey kitten climbing your Christmas tree.

    And now I know who is buying up all the 5 1/2 shoes before I get to the store-- Ortizzle!

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  18. Before I forget - I LOVE the IHOP Founder. :)

    Now, you come with me. We're going someplace warm and fun with cabana boys to cater to our every whim and not a dollop of "that holiday coming up" to fret about.

    Bring wine.

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  19. CK--how cute is that bunny? but really, who puts a pancake ON a bunny? and if you find a nice warm place, I'm so IN. i don't even need cabana boys. seriously. i'm not beachy.

    j.--don't give up on me yet! i know i can DO THIS. JUST SAY NO TO CATS. NO NO NO. re: ortizzle. prob'ly not. she lives in TX.

    shirley--i would definitely be more joyful if christmas were not rammed down my throat in October and November, yes. and as far as Brian's cholesterol, I have a huge desire RIGHT NOW to make him a cheesecake. not born of some evil, twisted motive, but just to comfort him and indulge him. honestly, though...Cinnabon? come ON.

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  20. I found some very cute ankle boots at the Nordstrom sale the other day. They were more than $75 (they were $88), but they were orig. $149, so I was happy. My last boots I got a shoe pavillion, and they were CRAP. My feet got wet every time it rained. Granted I live in CA, so it's not much of an issue, but still. I was looking for higher boots, and found some (though they kinda hit me right in the back of the knee when I sat down...uncomfortable!), but then decided that as I NEVER wear them with dresses or skirts, only jeans and pants, I would get the shorter ones. Now watch, I'll find the perfect skirt that would look SO CUTE with taller boots. Oh well, no money for cute skirt anyway. ;)

    Regarding the cat...think of how fresh your house smells with no cat litter. If that doesn't do it, nothing will. Olivia will make her appearance by Christmas.

    Snow? It was 80 here on Saturday. Stupid hot weather pattern ruining my November. I know, you'd probably love a nice 80 degree day, but it's NOVEMBER people. And the folks in SoCal paid for that weather, with the fires. Sigh.

    Sort of regarding Christmas, I'm tired of people begging me for money. That means EVERYONE. The democrats and MoveOn are still hounding me to fund their recounts. I gave Obama my last $10, I'm done. The stores with their big Precious Moments* eyes, begging for me to please stop and drop some cash their way. Hell no. Charities wanting me to buy them a turkey for their Thanksgiving meal for the poor. OK, I did that one, because I found a turkey on sale at Safeway for $5.99. Anyone else wanting my money can suck it!

    My major complaints right now are my husband being out of work (He's smart! He's talented! He's over educated! HIRE HIM PEOPLE!), and my cold making me cough crap up. Blech.

    Thanks, I feel mostly better now.

    *TM, Jess Riley from her hilarious blog.

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  21. j.@jj--I could never wear high boots under pants. what's the point of that? I wear high boots with skirts. and i wear a lot of skirts. and i so hear you re: the Dems begging me for cash all the time. Hey Dems! Here's an idea: take the cash you use mailing me your Begging Letters every four days and HOLD ONTO IT INSTEAD! sigh.

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  22. Well this is what's burning me up right now...people are searching for "reasons" why Barack won the election...I guess the thought "fair and square" never occured to them? Now the story is he "bought" the election.

    My son is having a tantrum because he got a B+ in Science and it has lowered his 4.0 to a 3.833. Sigh.

    I get paid tomorrow, and I think 98.9999% of my check is already allocated for bills.

    My soon-to-be 9 year old sister got a couple of D's on her report card and text me yesterday from her new cell phone???

    There was a few flakes of snow here today, so a trip that would have normally taken me 20 minutes, TOPS took 1 1/2 hours.

    Damn...I might just have to post a Hodge Podge post before I fill up your damned comments section!!!

    I'm going to have a glass of wine now.

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  23. Tera--Let your son have his tantrum as long as he takes responsibility for that B and doesn't blame it on the teacher! Maybe he should talk to your 9-year old sister...? LOL.

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  24. Nance~LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! Yes he accepts FULL responsibility and says he's upset, because he knows he capable of better. I love that in him :)

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  25. V-Grrrl8:37 PM

    Get the cat and shift focus from your hair to the cat's hair. Glue the cat's hair down with styling products and it won't SHED. Problem solved.

    Good luck with the boots. Personally, I think everyone should have one pair of black boots that are a *little* naughty, that make people wonder. Plain old boring black boots are so Mary Poppins. Why bother?

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  26. V-Grrrl--Poor cat! Could you imagine the look of a shellacked cat? LOL. Re: the boots. I totally agree, but you know that The Right Pair of Black Boots is critical. That's why it's taking me so long; I've been searching for 3 years and still haven't found them.

    ReplyDelete

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