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Friday, November 02, 2007

Brian Williams' Worrisome Career Move


In an absolutely startling career move--whether it's upward or downward remains to be seen--The King of Cravats, The Parliamentarian of Ties, that Nobleman of Neckwear, my news anchor crush Brian Williams will be hosting Saturday Night Live tomorrow night.

This brings to light several concerns.

First and foremost is how on Earth will I stay awake? I haven't been able to stay awake, even on Saturdays in the summertime, past 11:30 pm since I was about 30. Don't suggest coffee or Red Bull (how the heck do people drink that stuff? And is it carbonated? Because if it is, I automatically cannot drink it. Ever since going on my migraine medicine, I can't drink anything carbonated. Except champagne. I've managed to find a way to drink that! But I digress.) because caffeine late at night doesn't really keep me awake, it just makes me pee. A lot. But now you're tragically overinformed. (So what else is new at the Dept.?)

Secondly, if he wears a tie, or several ties (not all at the same time, but it is a comedy show...), is it incumbent upon me to do a Report? I would guess not since the title of the Tie Report is actually "The NBC Evening News' Brian Williams Tie Report", although I suppose I could do a special report. But, that sounds way worky for me, and I am nothing if not slothful by nature.

Thirdly, what if seeing Brian Williams do comedy makes me lose respect for him as a serious journalist? I have to admit, there are times when he is on location and wearing his hideous, ill-fitting shirts that my admiration fades just a wee bit. And, on occasion, when the camera pans down and shows that seriously ill-advised belt that he wears with the ostentatious silver accoutrements, I find myself cringing and my thoughts straying toward one tall, silver-haired, bold-cravat-wearing David Gregory (who fires some really snarky queries from his White House press room seat and gets called "Gregory" by The Angel of Death who actually looks like he wants to weep rather than call on our Hero). Imagine if the SNL cast makes Brian Williams don a toga or a chicken suit or some such undignified garb! (Oh my god! Could you imagine Brian Williams in short pants and a beanie with a helicopter propeller atop it? And carrying an all-day lolly?) Quelle horreur!

Finally--and this is really the big worry--what if he sucks? Really, now, what if he stands there and just lays a big, fat old egg? How will he--or more importantly, I--recover from that? Will I just lie in my bed, under my comforter, and softly whimper? Will I become bitter and blame it on the lousy writing of the inferior Millennium SNL team? Will I soldier on till the end, hoping it gets better or just turn it off at the musical guest?

Did Peter Jennings ever do SNL? Did Tom Brokaw? I know Walter Cronkite never did. If Brian Williams takes the comedy world by storm, we might see him hosting the Oscars. Then, winning one! And after that...?

14 comments:

  1. As I have never seen the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, I can only guess at your feeling of dread and anxiety. However, SNL did not doubt his skills, and Mr Williams will do all in his power to uphold the highest standards of television journalism. Probably. On the plus side, you can drink champagne.

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  2. Brian Williams for President? We could do SO much worse than that. In fact, we already have.

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  3. It's causing you so much worry that I say don't watch it. Or, if you trust his judgment, tape it and have Rick watch it first and let you know if it's worth your while?

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  4. I just can't see him on SNL, I don't know why. He'll play the straight man on almost every skit, I bet.

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  5. When I saw the promo for this, my heart truly went out to you. I agree with the taping of it and having it pre-screened by the men. A martini on hand might be in order. And I say that since he will be outside the realm of the news, then his ties should be outside the realm of being judged.

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  6. I just watched the show and thought he did a great job! I was thinking about you when I was watching it and thought there might be a "Breaking News" tie report. ; )

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  7. nancy in a2--i was under the impression that michigan had electricity and all the more modern conveniences of the rest of the 50 united states. i can conceive of no other reason that would prohibit you from watching Brian Williams on The NBC Nightly News. i do, however, admire your courage in admitting it, especially here.

    wordgirl--and, god willing, we never will again.

    jenomena--lol. i'm flattered that my writing was so convincing. besides, trying to set the VCR to tape something is pretty much the only time rick and i ever have a serious disagreement. it gets pretty ugly.

    gina--i know! i had a hard time imagining it, and he was so funny and terrific. he didn't go too far out of his comfort zone, but his accents cracked me up.

    j.--i knew i could count on you to get me out of anything worky. did you see the stills of him in the leather jacket? quite attractive in a "good guy goes bad" sort of way.

    anali--lol. my husband said the same thing about a "breaking news" tie report. and i thought he was great, too. the writers did a good job using his natural low-key wit and persona.

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  8. Sadly, I couldn't stay awake to watch this either. I think I was in bed by 9:30 or so on Saturday. I did hear that he did quite well and sent a special shout out to the blogger named Nance that pays such special attention to his ties...:)

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  9. NBC Nightly news...Brian Williams...Tom Brokaw??? Is this post written in English?

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  10. Nance, we of Michigan are a courageous lot, at least those of us who are still here.

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  11. nina--could you imagine if he did? i'd have gone completely mental and pee'd myself.

    tera--i refuse to believe that you are this culturally illiterate.

    nancy in a2--maybe you can explain those horrendous ads for the MGM Casino. they make it sound like a whorehouse. not to mention the cliche overload. how horrific. that alone would make me leave MI. oh, and the fact that you have to use your hand as a map all the time. "Where on the mitten do you live?"

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  12. No Nance, that's not the case...I just HATE the news! Other than too much tragedy, I just can't tune in...it's dry!!!

    I rememeber my grandmother always had the news on...morning news, evening news, nightly news, while you were asleep news...the oh-my-goondness-it's-a-new-news show news...nowdays, I just LOATHE it!!!

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  13. Well? What did you think? I thought he was fabulous. I want to have his babies more than ever.

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  14. scarlet--i thought he was terrific. i don't think he compromised his journalistic integrity or his image in any way. and you can have his babies. i'm done with all that, even for him. although...i would consider one more go 'round for...maybe...nah. forget it. no one could ever talk me into THAT again!

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Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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