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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Time to Go...But First--

Just a real quick post; the Ladies are almost here!

I've tragically overpacked, as all American Road Travelers are honor-bound to do. In an almost visceral rebellion to the restrictions of air travel, I've packed all full-sized toiletries and all of them are in gel form. All of them. I've packed two pairs of shoes, several sweaters, two pairs of pants, and probably ten pairs of underwear.

And I've rehearsed my Speech to Mother for my Entry into the Vehicle. It is to ensure a nice, pleasant trip for all of us. But especially for Me. Here it is:

Mom, let's get a few things straight from the get-go. Number one, I've already counted my grey hairs, and they'd better be the same at the end of this little journey. I have 31. Number two. I will be riding shotgun and will have ultimate control of the heater and the vents. Number three will cover the topics of conversation, and they are: not the grandchildren, not Bobby, (that's the brother of ours who she lives with), not previous road trips if they concern the fact that I became carsick, not the time I got lost in the new church coming back from communion, not the time Dad knocked me off the dock and I almost drowned because I forgot to close my mouth, and finally Number four, you are not to start calling us Evelyn and Shirley (her sisters) before we even cross the Pennsylvania state line. We clear on all of this?

That oughta take care of a lot.

See you Saturday or Sunday.

9 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Have a great trip, Nance.

    Here's what I came to post when I saw the above update (by the way, I think I have solved the Blogger problems with leaving comments: I log on to my old Blogger account beforehand. This should expedite the process. It has the added bonus of such a cute picture of me when I was six.)

    April 4th Tie Report: Yes, purple is big. And I think it is "tied" in with Catholic education, but in a more obvious way: we are at the height of Lent! Let's see if it changes after Easter. Forest green would be nice. Or maybe silver with thin navy lines.

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  2. Let her call you Shirley and Evelyn, for God's sake. It's an aging woman's privilege. Have a fun trip.

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  3. How can you ever manage with only two pairs of shoes? I take two pairs of shoes - per day.

    Have fuuuuuuun!!

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  4. My mom begins calling me by her sister's name the moment that I get annoying. I am annoying almost immediately.

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  5. Only 2 pair of shoes? I am SO not impressed! Hehe, hope you have a delightful trip (once you drop mom off, of course!)

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  6. I hope you have enough shoes... I'm worried for you!

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  7. Hey, Nance! How's the roadie goin'? Just dropped in to say that I actually watched the network news on T.V. last night. Brian shook himself out of the purple funk: diagonal gold and navy stripes. Somewhat Boy Scout-ish, but actually, not bad. I'll wait to hear your take on it. I am so not the fashion guru.

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  8. ortizzle--You know, I'd subscribe to your Purple Theory if he wasn't constantly wearing so much of it. I think he just has an Overall Thing For Purple. Sad, really.

    fringes--But it's been going on forever. And she runs through it like this, "shir...ev...pat..NANCE!" Sometimes we have to whack her on the back.

    girl and dog--i know. it's like i was applying for sainthood or something. but i am a very efficient packer and went with brown skinny cargoes from express and platinum wash gap jeans and then a pair of dark wash gap jeans. made sure the tops would coordinate, and packed a pair of brown bass oxfords and a pair of classic black penny loafers. i had it covered.

    i.h.--it actually went swimmingly. we had a great trip and a lot of fun. even mom. i relaxed a few rules for her.

    mist1--i cannot even fathom you being annoying. is there no pharmeceutical available?

    jenomena--geeze. what do i have to do??? LOL.

    nina--you are too sweet. but it all came out okay.

    ortizzle--thanks for the update. i may go take a look at it, but more likely, i'll just wait till monday. but that tie sounds familiar. he needs to toss a few new ones in, but i'm almost afraid.

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